by Sandy Fox

Why do some bereaved parents go to a grief group?

1. We need to be with people who understand what we are going through. Only someone who has been there can identify with us completely.
2. We will find new friends and closer bonds than we ever thought possible.
3. We can be ourselves there. We can cry when we need to and not worry about being embarrassed. We can hug others whether we know the person or not.
4. We need to talk to someone who is a good listener as we remember our children and share the good memories.
5. If we are further along, we feel a need to help others who ae going through the same grief journey we are. Others were there for us when we needed them the most. Now we will be there for newer ones.
6. We feel a need to do something positive out of a horrible tragedy. Helping others in their worst moment is one way.
7. Because when we reach out to someone else, we also help ourselves.

Why do other parents read everything they can get their hands on?

1. We turn to writings of others to find help and comfort. We may feel uncomfortable being around other bereaved parents and have a hard enough time dealing with our own problems and don’t want to hear other’s stories in a group setting.
2. We read to see if others feel the same as we do. We want to hear other stories and compare them to our own.
3. We want confirmation that we are not crazy for ‘how’ we feel or ‘what’ we feel.
4. We want to learn from experts ways to better our lives and help our grief journey. We are so lost when this happens to us that sometimes we can’t even think straight. These experts who write about stages of grief and other topics allow us to understand better what we all go through.

Whether it is through a grief group, on your own, or through reading materials, each of us has his own way of moving forward with our lives after the worst possible thing that can happen to us becomes reality. Dealing with the loss of a child is a lifelong journey, and we should deal with it in whatever way is the most helpful to each one of us.

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Sandy Fox

Sandy Fox has won four finalist awards for her recent book "Creating a New Normal...After the Death of a Child" with over 80 coping articles and a huge resource section. One award is from USA Book News in the Health/Death and Dying Category for 2010. The second award is from ForeWord Reviews in the Health Category for 2010. The third is from Royal Dragonfly Book Awards. The most recent finalist award is for the self-help category of the 2011 Indie Book Awards. She is also the author of another grief book, "I Have No Intention of Saying Good-bye." “I Have No Intention of Saying Good-bye” tells the stories of 25 sets of parents and how they moved on with their lives after the death of their child, offering hope and survival techniques. Sandy has headed two national bereavement conferences for childless parents and spoken for many years at Compassionate Friends National conferences, POMC and across the U.S. to a variety of bereavement groups. She also writes articles for the Open to Hope site, EZ articles, and Journey through grief newsletter in addition to her own weekly blog: Sandy can be contacted at to set up any speaking engagements or to ask any questions related to surviving the death of a child. Sandy was a guest on the radio show “Healing the Grieving Heart“ discussing: “I have no intention of Saying Good-Bye: Coping Techniques for the Now Childless.” To hear Sandy being interviewed on this show by Dr. Gloria & Dr. Heidi Horsley, click on the following link:

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