Grief Tools for Support
As I walked down the concrete path away from the hospital that had become my reality, grief came over me like a tidal wave. I wasn’t sure I’d survive. I walked across the street to where I had stayed for 42 days and 42 nights, as tears began streaming down my face. There was no longer a reason to be in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU), and I was devastated. I needed some grief tools to make it through.
That morning, as I left the hospital without my six-week-old son, my whole world came crashing down. The tidal wave of grief was so strong it took my breath away. My first-born child, Baby Jackson, was gone.
‘My World Became Dark’
As the reality of my loss set in, suddenly the world didn’t make sense anymore. For the first few weeks, I was in shock. Even though we had been in the hospital with my son teetering on the edge of death for all those weeks, I didn’t ever imagine that he wouldn’t live, and I wouldn’t be taking him home. My world suddenly become dark; the light snuffed out like a raindrop on a flame. The reality I knew, in an instant, became desolate and cold, stripped barren, now lacking even the slightest meaning and purpose.
It took me more than 2 years before I decided that I HAD to find a way through grief because I could no longer tolerate the constant depression and apathy I now had for life. I didn’t want to live like this; holding onto the intensity of sadness and pain I felt every single day. I had just brought home another son, Mason Peter, who needed me to be the mother he deserved. My love for him forced me to look for a way out of my grief.
Concrete Grief Tools Helped Most
I wanted concrete tools to help me take back control of my life and pull myself out of grief. I wondered why no one was teaching the tools I found to be so helpful. These tools had become my lifeline. These tools helped me crawl my way through my grief.
I began my YouTube channel, Grief Inspired to teach what I had learned so that others could more easily work their way through their own grief. Today, I find inspiration in teaching those who grieve how to get unstuck, release their guilt, eliminate anxiety and depression, and take an active role in their own healing process. You can find it here. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6dVH-N7WGAivV19oh4UtDw
This year, as COVID continued to cause suffering, more people than ever searched YouTube, looking for help. To serve my audience, I created a grief journal with writing prompts to give its users a place to start healing their grief. My viewers said starting with a blank page was too overwhelming and a series of writing prompts helped with this.
Grief Journal Has Grief Tools
I titled it, A Grief Journal: Finding Hope, Love, and Grace, in Grief and made it available on Amazon for anyone who wants to heal. https://www.amazon.com/Grief-Journal. It’s designed to give you HOPE that you can survive the pain of grief and find happiness again. It shifts your focus from the despair of loss you may be feeling to the reason why you grieve, because you LOVE. And finally, it encourages GRACE, the practice of giving yourself patience as you work through your pain.
As we move into 2022, I am continuing to create more tools to support those who grieve.
In honor of my son Jackson Robert, I’d like to gift a LIVE online course to the first 5 people who read this post and reach out to me at griefinspired@gmail.com.
I will continue with my mission, to redefine how the world grieves; to focus on the gifts of grief rather than the despair of loss. May you find light in the darkness of grief, may you have hope for your future, and may you never have to grieve alone.
With love and prayers,
Catherine McNulty
Grief survivor, Coach, Speaker and Author
For additional support, I encourage you to reach out to me at griefinspired@gmail.com. Grieving is hard enough. Do not make it harder by grieving alone.
