My son, Ryan, committed suicide in June of 2002; but from day one, I was keenly aware that his spirit never left me. Fortunately, I have been blessed with many signs and dream visits since he crossed over. With time, my awareness grew, and I learned to understand and recognize the different signs he would give to me in efforts to get my attention. His favorites are: butterflies, numbers, feathers, heart rocks, frogs and herons. I’ve learned that Ryan is in control of the signs – when and how they are delivered – is completely up to him. If I had my way, I’d get them every day, but they are special “gifts,” and if we could order them on demand, they would lose their significance.
With each passing day, my coping skills and level of awareness grow stronger; I can now feel his presence without much help at all, and revel in the fact that this is possible. Still, there are times when I am so consumed with sadness he cannot get through to me – and this is when he exercises his creative abilities by delivering signs in extraordinary waysWe all know that our grief will come and go in waves throughout time.
A few weeks ago, I found myself navigating through a little “rough patch.” I was at home, wading through my feelings, when I had a surprise visit from my friend, Ellen. She had no idea that I was struggling, so it was particularly special when she showed up holding three of the LARGEST and most beautiful feathers I have ever seen. She said that from the moment she laid her eyes on them, she knew they were meant for me. We laughed at the size of them; clearly “someone” wanted to be sure that she didn’t miss them! I remember commenting that the feathers made me feel that “something BIG was coming my way.”
Two days later, while on a bike ride with my husband, I noticed a very large rock sitting all by itself, in the grass next to the bike path. When I rode past it, I had a funny feeling, so I turned around and picked it up. I was thrilled to discover it was a VERY LARGE heart rock!
As we stood there admiring it, my husband told me that earlier, while watering at the cemetery, a HUGE frog had jumped out of the greenery and surprised him. The frog lingered at Ryan’s gravesite and kept him company, never moving, even when he sprinkled it with water. He said that the size of the frog had made an impression on him, because it was the BIGGEST one he’d seen all summer.
The next day, I spent the morning working in our yard, trimming vines and pulling the weeds that had overtaken my flower beds. I loaded the yard waste into my wheelbarrow, and pushed it to the rear of our property to dispose of. I was unloading it when a Monarch butterfly – as BIG as a bird – came flying out of the bushes right toward me. It was ENORMOUS. I shook my head in wonder, completely amazed and surprised by both its beauty and size.
A few hours later, my daughter arrived for a visit. We were sitting out by the pool when a GIGANTIC grasshopper jumped from the patio onto her chest. She let out a scream and said, “Look at the size of this grasshopper!” We all gasped in unison – it was truly oversized.
It was then that it all came together for me…I had set the tone, when upon receiving the feathers I’d guessed that “something BIG is coming my way.” Ryan had in fact, been playing with us all, by using our favorite signs – SUPER SIZED – to get through to me.
It worked. As obtuse as I can sometimes be, his tomfooleries finally sank in, and I found myself laughing with delight! My troubles seemed to melt away as I embraced the magic of the moment. It was with great joy that I thanked my son for the fun and fantastic delivery used to send his message of love and hope.
Something BIG truly did come my way. This message was simple – as it was meant to be. I think that sometimes we struggle to interpret the signs we are given; we have a knack for making things harder than they have to be. For the most part, they aren’t meant to divulge a profound insight, and should not require hours of in-depth analysis to understand.
Most signs are sent to communicate love and we are meant to accept them at face value. Learn to observe your sign through the eyes of a child and go with your intuitive response. Embrace the fact that something BIG has happened – and enjoy it for all it is worth!
Sally Grablick 2012