The other day, I received this question from one of my followers. She recently lost her husband and asked me, “How do I go on after losing a loved one?”

When I read this question, I got a little bit tearful as I remember this feeling oh so well. This is a soul layer question and one I think will resonate with many of you.

The quick answer that I usually give when people ask me how I went on is, “I did it because I had to. I didn’t have a choice.” The truth is, there is not one perfect answer; but, I have 3 powerful tips to share with you.

I’ll begin with a personal story.

When I was in deep grief after the loss of my partner to cancer, I remember one day I had to cross the street to my dad’s house where I was staying. There was a semi truck coming. I saw it and I didn’t care. I crossed anyway thinking”If it hits me, oh well.”

I was so deep in my grief that I didn’t care if I lived or died. Actually, at times (probably more than I’d like to admit) I thought I’d rather die. At least then, maybe I could be with him again.

The semi trucked laid on the horn and came so close to hitting me I could feel its powerful energy. And, in that one split-second-moment when I thought I might die, I looked up in embarrassment desperately hoping that my dad wasn’t watching from the window.

In that split second, I realized that if the semi hit me, I’d leave my dad feeling the way I did. Luckily, he didn’t see (at least he never told me if he did).

I went into the house. Locked myself in my bedroom. And cried for hours.

And, I vowed in those early days of my grief that if I couldn’t get through it for me, at least I could try for my dad.

Tip 1: Is there someone in your life you can live for? (This isn’t a long term solution. But, it certainly helps when it feels like all hope is gone).

I started taking daily walks by the beach. At the time I didn’t know much about energy healing. All I knew was it made me feel better. On the really bad days, I walked faster and sometimes even found myself walking up and down hills at a vigorous pace. One day, a friend told me she saw me power walking in the pouring rain. She said, “You must be crazy. Why were you out on a day like that?”

I laughed. What I should have said was, “I was walking to save my life.”

Tip 2: Grief is a powerful energy that needs to be moved and expressed. I didn’t know it at the time, but by walking I was moving that energy. I was giving my grief an outlet. When it was really bad, I moved even harder. I invite you to find an outlet for your grief. Walk. Run. Scream. Dance. Sing. Create. Whatever feels right for you. Do it often. Daily if you can.

Tip 3: Connect with nature. I chose the beach because that’s what resonates with me. But anywhere in nature will do. Nature has a lovely way of reminding us of the beauty in life. Even when it feels horribly dark.

For me, there was never a day where I woke up and realized I actually felt better. But, somewhere along the way (as I used these three tools) it did happen.

Be Gentle on yourself. Be Kind. Healing is a process. You are doing a Beautiful job.


Nicky C Jones

Helping women make peace with grief one softer symptom at a time... After losing her boyfriend to cancer and her mother to suicide within a 13 month period, Nicky was stricken by how little support there was for her. She felt desperately alone, like no one really got it and unable to grieve authentically. Because of this she is on a mission to hold a safe space for women who are grieving while offering them tools to soften their symptoms in the most self-loving and holistic way possible. Nicky has developed a one-on-one Yoga Inspired Grief Coaching Program that works to release grief off the five layers of the body-being (physical, energetic, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual) which inspired her E-book "6 Steps to Soften the Symptoms of Grief". This book is a charitable offering for those who would not otherwise have access to her services. For every coaching program sold, she donates the E-book (on her client's behalf) to a women's charity, so when her clients invest in themselves they could also potentially be helping hundreds of other women! Nicky is a skilled teacher, yoga teacher, yoga therapist, energy worker and Thai massage practitioner who wants nothing more than to lift the stigma of grief in our society one beautiful woman at a time. Please visit Nicky's website for instant access to her class "Reclaim your Joy" plus free tips and tools to help you make peace with grief!

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