My youngest son, Chad 17 died in and auto wreck on 1-1-04 at age 17, his older brother was all that held me together. Chuck turned 20 that year, we just hung on to each other. I made him leave me and go to college one week after the funeral. We take everyday. Then 2-12-2006 I got the next horrible phone call telling me Chuck was dead. Now I just don’t know what to do. I CAN’T get over it. I was getting a little better and then on July 6th my brother died and on july 7 my mom died. I want to quit. But you know NOTHERING EVERY WILL HURT ME LIKE THE DEATH OF MY BOYS.? What do I do now? They were my future and that’s all gone.

Dear Donna,

Our hearts go out to you. The loss you have sustained with the death of your two sons, your brother and your mother is vast and we understand how empty your life must feel right now.

We encourage you to be gentle with yourself and allow yourself all the time you need to grieve. And we also encourage you to surround yourself with others who understand.? It might help to find a grief counselor to assist you because no one should have to face such big losses by herself.? We also recommend that you see if there is a group of The Compassionate Friends in your area. Each member of this group has lost a child and each has grieved in her own time and her own way. They understand the pain of losing a child and they will walk this path with you. You can find their site at? However, we understand that groups are not for everyone.? If groups are not for you we recommend that you reach out to your family, church, and friends for support. We have found that the load of grief is lighter when it is not carried alone

We invite you, too, to listen on Thursday mornings to the radio show Healing the Grieving Heart? You can find information about it and a link to it on the first page of You might also find a number of past shows that can give you help and comfort at

We are glad that you found The Grief Blog and we hope that you find help and comfort here. We are posting your letter because we know it will help others who also have lost loved ones. We encourage you to check back. Our visitors are very loving and compassionate people who often reach out to help each other. You may find comments at the bottom of this entry in the days to come.

Our blessings,

Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley

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