I Lost my 31 Year Old Son

I lost my 31 year-old son, Aaron, on August 9, 2007. He drowned while spear-fishing in Mexico. It has been almost 6 weeks. I miss him unbearably but mostly, right now, I feel numb. I think it is the only way I am able to survive right now.


Dear Cynthia,

We are so very sorry for your loss. There are few words that can truly comfort us when we lose a child and your loss is still very fresh and your wounds still raw. We each grieve in our own way and your feeling numb right now is a way to get through the initial shock of your loss.. We encourage you to be very gentle with yourself and give yourself the time you need to grieve and adjust. Know there is no time limit on grief and there is no right way or wrong way to go about it.

We encourage you to see if there is a group of Compassionate Friends in your area. You can find their website at http://www.compassionatefriends.org/?? Each member has experienced the death of a child and each has survived and grieved in his or her own way. If there is no chapter of Compassionate Friends in? area you may want to contact your local Hospice for a recommendation on a grief group.? However, we understand that groups are not for everyone.? If groups are not for you we recommend that you reach out to your family, church, and friends for support.? We have found that the load of grief is lighter when it is not carried alone.

We invite you to listen on Thursday mornings to the radio show Healing the Grieving Heart? You can find information about it and a link to it on the first page of http://www.thegriefblog.com? You might also find a number of past shows that can give you help and comfort at http://thegriefblog.com/grief-grieving-death-of-a-child/

We are posting your note to us on http://www.thegriefblog.com because we know it will be of help to others who also are experiencing such loss.


Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley

The Open to Hope Community

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The Open to Hope Community Leader is here to answer questions, provide support, and maintain a healthy, positive environment at opentohope.com. This is the next line.


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  • Phyllis mcLay, Atlanta, GA says:

    I lost my 33 year old son 4 years ago. We were like each half of one whole person. My love for him was very intense and when he died in a cliff dive in Lake Havasu, AZ, I died too. I have another son and a grandson that I love but nothing seems to give me any joy in life. Maybe someone can tell me how to get my joy back. I say I had 2 lives, back when I was happy and the other when my son Seanne died. Can I expect to feel this way the rest of my life

  • olga says:

    I lost my 31 year old son on May 27th 2007. He drowned off the coast of Palm beach while rescuing some girls that were drowning. Life will never be the same for me. He was my only child and I miss him terribly. I go thru the motions of life, work etc in auto pilot. I am not sure where this is all ending. For now , I just go on

  • I lost my oldest son David, 2 weeks today; less than a month ago he had his 28th birthday.
    David was in a car accident early morning on his way to work and I will never know why he lost control of his car and ended up on the opposite side of the freeway.
    One second he is on the road, next he is gone. I feel like I’m just holding my breath ever since because it hurts to breath when my David no longer can. All i can seemed to be able to do is cry, no words can described my pain. I love his siblings but this pain is much deeper and heavy that i can’t seem to be there for them too. My wonderful loving husband is helping us the best he can, we’ve only been married 3 months, so instant family and now instant loss.
    Sophia Houston, Texas