I lost my 33 year old son 4 years ago. We were like each half of one whole person. My love for him was very intense and when he died in a cliff dive in Lake Havasu, AZ, I died too. I have another son and a grandson that I love but nothing seems to give me any joy in life. Maybe someone can tell me how to get my joy back. I say I had 2 lives, back when I was happy and the other when my son Seanne died. Can I expect to feel this way the rest of my life


Dear Phyllis,
We are so very sorry for your loss. Losing a child is probably the hardest thing a parent ever has to endure.? It takes time to get yourself back into some normal kind of life and it also takes time to get your joy back. There is no time frame for grieving and there is no right or wrong way to do it and there is no way to predict when joy will return. But there are some things you can do to help that happen. We recommend that you seek a grief counselor who can help you with this step. We also recommend that you find a chapter of Compassionate Friends in your area. Each member of Compassionate Friends has lost a child and understands what you are experiencing. With them you do not have to walk alone and this is most important. Another thing that helps many who are grieving is to reach out and help someone who is just starting down this path of grief.? Joy often results when we help someone else who is also hurting.
We invite you to listen on Thursday mornings to the radio show Healing the Grieving Heart? You can find information about it and a link to it on the first page of http://www.thegriefblog.com? You might also find a number of past shows that can give you help and comfort at http://thegriefblog.com/grief-grieving-death-of-a-child/
We are posting your comment on The Grief Blog because we know there are other bereaved parents who feel as you do and your words can help them know they are not the only ones who need to get their joy back. There is comfort in knowing you are not alone.
Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley

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