Do you remember your life as a child in elementary school? The times when you would run on the playground with a kite in your hand and just run, with your eyes closed, with the wind?

Although a tremendous amount of social and emotional development has taken place during our early childhood, there is much to still be learned about understanding our emotions.  The life of a ten-year-old child can find ways parallel to that of an adult at times. When my daughter, Talmer-Marie, set out to write her second book, WOW! Life is Not About Rainbows and Unicorns: A Pre-Teen Guide to Becoming Your Best Self, it came from a very real place that many of us, no matter the age, can identify with. There are times in this life where it seems we are on easy street and life is so simple and things are so well planned, and then we begin to encounter things that we are just not used to handling which leaves us feeling ill-prepared in the process.

Have you ever tried to throw a temper tantrum at grief? Believe me, I have, and it tired me out so much because I experienced a range of emotions that varied from happy to sad.

Grief is a strong emotion that makes us feel as if we are on an emotional roller coaster. Despite the good things that life brings us and the goodness that we try to spread in the world, grief creeps on our world and causes us to feel as if we are not certain of our next step. In my daughter’s case, despite her attempting to be a model student who had some learning challenges, yet excited to show up to school every day and learn; she suddenly found herself one day, being bullied by a student both verbally and physically. This attack had the emotion of grief attempt to overtake our daughter into believing that school for her would never be the same.

Are you going through your own grief journey? If you are wondering what to do when you feel that you are lacking your navigational skills to cope with grief:

  1. Start with identifying the truth of your situation or grief. Rainbows and unicorns were created to give us a whimsical escape from our reality but taking the time to center in our truth will help us to locate where we are.
  2. Don’t be afraid to confront areas of your life that need improvement. If you recognize that you need to get more sleep or reduce your social time during the day to meditate or improve your mood, it is ok to create this space.
  3. Although you are going through this very real emotion, continue to “grow” through it using gratitude as an anchor.

Life is a precious gift and although there is transition in your life that may rock you to your core, know that you will find the strength to continue to make it, even if you can not identify with it at this point. Remain open to hope.

Danita Ogandaga

Danita Ogandaga ( is a Social Worker turned authority on grief and restoration who teaches on the orphan spirit and emotional healing illustrating with her powerful life story and traumatic experiences how you can overcome obstacles, recover from grief and root pain, and give birth to the purpose that is within you. At the heart of her books, online community seminars and courses is the importance of achieving authenticity within yourself. Today, Danita and her husband, Darcy, travel internationally and hold annual Activation Tour Seminars all over the world helping teaching creatives, entrepreneurs, families, and leaders to heal from grief, organize life's transitions, activate their creativity, and monetize their gifts via social media. They live near Atlanta, Georgia with their three children.

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