“Emptiness now fills the spirit of my inner being, The drum beat that has given me life now echoes off of the hollowed walls that once was my heart. My eyes now fill with dust, dried from the many tears that I have dropped upon this earth, only to have been made worse by the dust of the many friends and family who have left this world before me. A question now fills my broken heart: Was I able to help them keep their unknown promise?” (Our Sacred Journeys)
Over the many years of my life, I have been exposed to death in its many different forms: natural, prolong illnesses, accidents, suicide and murder. I had to learn through all of this how to deal with each death and its effect on me. I have buried over 30 friends and relatives, so I guess one could consider me an expert, a distinction I wish I didn’t have. I am also exposed to death on a daily basis through my work as an ER nurse, watching people die in front of me, and then helping the family deal with the initial shock after their love one has died.
How one deals with death is a learned thing; by watching how our loved ones dealt with death we learn how to grieve. Our religion also has a lot to do with how we deal with death, as well as how close we were to the individual as well as the circumstances that surrounded their death.
It is my belief that one is born to complete an Unknown Promise, or Unknown Promises to our Creator. Upon completion of our Earth Walk Calendar, we will be called back home and when we go back home, we will face our Creator, and only then will we know if we were successful on completing these promises. It’s a cycle that will repeat itself again and again, until all promises to our Creator are completed. I like to think of this as Purgatory, for this life is where we pay for sins of the past.
Things happen for a reason, the death of a child, other family member or friend. There is a reason that they came into our lives. To teach us something by their presence or to teach us something by their death. My life is emptier because of their passing, but the vacuum that is left behind is soon filled by the love of my family and friends who still walk upon this earth with me.
I would like to think that I have given my friends and family the love and support that they needed to successfully complete their earth walk. While it doesn’t take away the pain I experienced when they died, I know that they are still with me, sending me love through the veil that separates this world from the next. I still ask for their guidance, and sit quietly in the evenings and listen to the wind for their responses.
You can cry, and miss them with every fiber of your being, but they will want you to move forward in your earth walk, so that one day we can all be together again to bask in the love and light of our Creator.
Linda Duncum 2011