By Mitch Carmody —
My resolution for the year ahead is to practice one element of what I call Proactive Grieving. That element is being intentional; to reach out with some sort of communication that recognizes a special day for someone who has suffered a loss.
Certain calendar days throughout the year are very significant to those who grieve the loss of a loved one: death days, birthdays, diagnosis days, anniversaries, day of the accident, day of surgery, religious observations, holidays, Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, family annual event days and more.
In the first year of loss, even the day of the week that a person died is significant to the survivors, as is the exact time on the clock that our loved one died. For example, my son died on Tuesday. Dec. 1, 1987 at 6:32 p.m. After that, each Tuesday at 6:32 punched me in the gut. For many, many years I dreaded each rollover of the month as another 1st of the month emerged that reminded me of the day he died, as well as marking the day as another month completed in survival.
In the coming year, I plan to create a dedicated calendar marked with those significant days of those whom I know are grieving the loss of their loved one. This will remind me to send a card, send some flowers, send an email, make a phone call or a personal visit. Reach out and touch someone, it heals both ways.
Mitch Carmody is a writer and workshop leader. Reach him through his website, www.HeartlightStudios.net.Tags: grief, hope