Open to Hope Articles
Do you want to read stories of others who have been where you are? Are you looking for bereavement help, and advice? Look no further. We offer over 3,000 articles written by our Open to Hope authors.
SORT BY RELATIONSHIP
Should You Write a Letter to a Deceased Loved One?
June 3, 2013
I had read about it long ago, the idea of writing a letter to a deceased loved one. The idea sounded like a good one, but I was reluctant to do it. Lost and forgotten emotions could overwhelm me. Maybe I would go backwards on the recovery path. But the thing I feared most was returning to deep grief. Six years had passed since my adult daughter died, and I had come to far, and did not want to regress. And so I waited and thought about it and didn’t write the letter. Some experts recommend writing several letters, putting […]
Oklahoma Deaths Trigger Memories, a Sense of Blessing
May 28, 2013
As used to my own grief as I am, every time I am aware of another life lost to less than a full life, my heart sinks and breaks again. I know loss and its hurts. I have been that puddle in the middle of the floor. The person whose tears seem like rivers and you cannot see the end. Now, 17 years later, 17 years after my son, Christopher, was murdered, I stand tall and happy. I feel hopeful for all my days ahead, and even though I would love Christopher to be with us, I know he never […]
Six Years Later, and I Still Miss My Daughter
May 22, 2013
Six years after my daughter died from the injuries she received in a car crash, I can say, in all honesty, that the searing pain of grief has lessened. The sobbing has passed and, though I cried once during a talk, I am able to tell my story without breaking down. Still, my daughter is with me every moment of every day. “Would she like this dinner?” I ask. “I wish she was here to see this,” I say. “Helen would have laughed herself silly,” I observe. My husband and I have done many things in memory of our daughter. […]
Grief Has No Borders
May 14, 2013
When I was in Brussels, Belgium, recently, I found a reference to Compassionate Friends (the organization for parents who have lost a child to death) and a couple’s phone number in a magazine called The Bulletin. I called the number referenced and spoke to a lovely British lady who has lived in Brussels with her husband for the past 40 years. She informed me that Brussels at one time did have a Compassionate Friends chapter but no longer. She does still refer those who need help to a chapter as close as possible and answers any questions they may have. […]
Being my Grandchildren's Guardian
May 14, 2013
I never thought I would become my grandchildren’s guardian and raise teenagers again. But that is what happened after my daughter and her former husband were killed in separate car crashes. My grandkids, one boy and one girl, were 15 when they moved in with us and they are 21 today. Both graduated from high school with honors, received college scholarships, and are on the Dean’s List. They are incoming college seniors now and people keep complimenting us on our success. They are complimenting the wrong people. Sure, we influenced the twins, but my husband and I are not responsibile […]
M is for Mother's Day and Memories
May 13, 2013
The day before Mother’s Day this website posted my article, “A Mother’s Love Lives On.” I included a refrain in the article, a sentence that declared I would always love my daughter. It was the truth. My truth is also that I also became guardian of my twin grandchildren after their parents died in separate car crashes. These tragedies stunned everyone in the family. Returning to life again, to the possibilities of joy, has been hard for all of us. So it was surprising to see a photo of my deceased daughter with her twin babies on the Internet, a […]
It’s The Simple Things That Matter The Most In Our Grief Journeys
May 13, 2013
Cemetery Discomfort I have always been uncomfortable in cemeteries ever since I can remember. My discomfort surrounding cemetery visits magnified one hundred fold after my daughter Jeannine’s death in March of 2003. Watching my daughter’s coffin being lowered into the ground during her gravesite service was symbolic of the end of her life, as I knew it, and the end of mine as I knew it. I have gone to the cemetery on a handful of occasions with my wife Cheri, only long enough to ensure that the flowers she planted were intact and that Jeannine’s sacred place filled with […]
A Mother’s Love Lives On
May 11, 2013
My daughter died in 2007 from the injuries she received in a car crash. At the time of her death, she was soaring in life. She was a composite engineer, had an MBA, six industry certifications, a job she enjoyed, excellent performance reviews, and was assured of advancement in the company. Life was brighter than it had ever been and then she died. Her death was bad enough. Two days later, my father-in-law died. Then my brother (and only sibling) died. Nine months after my daughter died, my former son-in-law, father of my twin grandchildren, died from the injuries he […]
Happy Mother’s Day to Every ‘Good-Enough Mother’
May 8, 2013
For many of us, Mother’s Day stirs something deeply loving. For others, ambivalent feelings abide. You see, after thirty-three years in the counseling field and drying the tears off many faces, I can accurately say that not every woman feels she had, was or is the “good-enough mother.” So, exactly what is the “good-enough mother”? English pediatrician, Donald Winnicott, M.D. – an influential object-relations psychoanalyst – believed this type of mother was a different kind of mom because she didn’t hold perfectionism as her model. Good on you, Doc Winnicott; that’s “a like” button over here for sure. Honestly, I […]
