Open to Hope Articles
Do you want to read stories of others who have been where you are? Are you looking for bereavement help, and advice? Look no further. We offer over 3,000 articles written by our Open to Hope authors.
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My Daughter Was My Hero
March 12, 2010
My daughter, Katie Brant, was my hero. She was given an overwhelming challenge which she met valiantly, fearlessly and always with a greater good in mind. I witnessed Katie’s bravery early on when she marched down the hallway of Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia toward the gurney for her first brain surgery. She was only 18 years old. As Katie waved goodbye, she told us not to worry because “God wasn’t done with her yet.” Katie was self-possessed, a character strength she consistently exhibited during the many years of daunting treatments, especially after she heard more bad news about her cancer. […]
Crying With My Ancestors
March 11, 2010
Sometimes I think you need a little of your own history in order to be able to understand history. I can’t remember never knowing about those relatives. They were on my Grandma Hall’s side, residing on the farm in Amelia County, Virginia. Patsie — we never call her Grandma — would sit at her oak dining room table, framed by the gold wall paper and talk about these people — Nonnie, Lou, Ralph and countless others, all making my head swim with Old Relative Fatigue. Although I had visited the country, fed the cows and had my picture taken in […]
Prepare Your Response Plan for Grief Triggers
March 9, 2010
Grief triggers – your deceased loved one’s birthday, the anniversary of your loss, and holiday festivities – are a recovery challenge. How will you respond? Will you continue to move forward with life or will the grief trigger stop you in your tracks? Worse, will you go backwards? I ask these questions when I encounter grief triggers. Tuesday of this week was the third anniversary of my daughter’s death. Though I was not sure how I would respond, I knew the day would be hard. So I pulled myself together, revised my response plan, and used it. First, I looked […]
How to Maintain a Marriage After Child-Loss
March 3, 2010
Many couples who have experienced the death of their child may also experience a crisis in their marriage as a result. This untimely event can be an opportunity for growth bringing the two people closer together. The belief that a bereaved couple is doomed to divorce is blown way out of proportion. In fact, a Compassionate Friends survey has indicated that only 4 percent of couples who divorce do so because of the child’s death, that something else was wrong in the relationship before the child died. If the couple has always had a good marriage, typically that marriage will […]
Even the Worst Events Can Lead to Healing
March 2, 2010
The sharp edge of grief came into my life when my son, Lucas, lost his life to cancer. It was a sudden, brief battle for him, and the beginning of a season of life I certainly did not wish to enter. The utter devastation that fills your world when a loved one dies is almost indescribable and for a time, it is also unbearable. Most people traveling this journey of life, death, and grief, just long for the pain to stop. Then we don’t want it to stop, because that will mean we forget, or it will mean we don’t […]
The Burden Basket
February 27, 2010
Recently, my adventurous younger sister embarked on a trip of the lifetime to hike Mt. Everest. A part of my heart went with her as she carried with her an angel token engraved with my deceased son’s name. She placed his token at a prayer wall on the mountain. My heart was also touched by the spirit of the people who helped carry her supplies on her journey. I listened in awe as she described the conditions these young men endured as they worked to provide for their families. Some carried far more than their own weight up the mountain in […]
Talking With Grandchildren About Loss
February 27, 2010
“Grandma, why are you crying?” This was the question, as a six-year-old, that I remember asking my beloved Grandma Jensen as she cleaned out her attic. Among the treasures we found sorting through the bows and arrows, large magnets, and an ancient violin were a number of pairs of white cotton gloves. My grandmother, being raised in lean times, had learned to deal with lack and thus learned to make soap, bottle and can fruit, and sew her own clothes. “Grandma,” I asked, “what are those white gloves for?” That was when grandma teared up. “Honey,” she said, “they were worn […]
Conflicting Feelings on Third Anniversary of Daughter’s Death
February 23, 2010
Today — February 23, 2010 – is third anniversary of my daughter’s death. She died from the injuries she received in a car crash. I have conflicting feelings: sorrow that will be with me always, and a sense of accomplishment about raising my grandchildren. The instant we learned their father had died in another car crash, my husband and I told the twins they were coming home with us. Weeks later, the court appointed us as their legal guardians and fiscal conservators. Should I mention the third anniversary of their mother’s death to the twins? Though they were sleepy when […]
Great Movies Send Message that Joy Returns
February 22, 2010
Oh……. we’re off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz …Those words and melody always bring to mind one of my favorite movies. Maybe it was gathering around the television with mismatched Tupperware bowls of popcorn and a cold bottle of Coke (my mother had her own “hands off” stash of Tab). We were dressed up for bed early, all snug in our jammies with pillows piled behind our heads and we would listen intently as Danny Kaye introduced us to the yearly ritual of the televised viewing of “The Wizard of Oz.” I love everything about the […]
