Open to Hope Articles
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Child-Loss: When the Heavens Go Dark
February 18, 2010
Out beyond the silence of eternal night, within the void of voiceless echoes, between the folds of dark and light. In somber streams of starlight. In the waves of ebb and flow. Heaven exceeds eternal planes. Though, it remains closer then we know. There was a time when the stars were a great source of inspiration and contentment for me. Their slow, predictable progression seemed to calm some of the anxiety brought on by a chaotic world. The incomprehensible distances and incalculable numbers were a humbling reminder of my insignificance. While at the same time, the vastness and complexity made me […]
Choosing to Live Even as a Child is Dying
February 13, 2010
Until her last breath, I never believed my daughter Madison was going to die. Three years after she took that last breath I considered that maybe she wouldn’t be coming back. Denial is a huge part of parental grief, a necessary part; it’s what helps us to get up in the morning. Denial was exactly what enabled me to mother my child all the way through her transition. I understood that she might die, and we made all the necessary calls to get friends and family to our home when Maddy’s breathing changed. We didn’t put her through extraneous testing […]
Film Review: The Lovely Bones
February 10, 2010
I know of two books published in 2002 that dealt with the death a child in a young family’s life. In the stories, the children are different in ages and gender, the cause of death is different, the grieving process is different; one book is fiction, the other a true story. In both books, I found many similarities in processing the loss of a child. Both books reflect the belief that there truly is life after death on both sides of the equation; for the departed and for those left behind. The fiction book is called The Lovely Bones and […]
Four Seasons of Marriage
February 10, 2010
By Mary Jane Hurley Brant, M.S., CGP — This month, let’s talk about the four seasons of marriage: Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter. Usually we think of marriage as a relationship with our partner but it can also be the state of marriage solely within us called “the inner marriage.” The inner marriage is an intimate relationship with ourself. We need a strong inner marriage of love, appreciation, understanding and respect for ourself in order to experience the serenity, joy, and connection attainable in an outer marriage. The Spring of Marriage is when matrimony begins. We are often young and […]
Spending Valentine’s Day in the Saint’s Birthplace
February 3, 2010
My memory of Valentine’s Day is spending it among the art treasures and history of St. Valentine’s birthplace, Terni, in central Italy. It was just a few months after our seven-year-old son, Nicholas, had been shot in a botched car-jacking attempt while we were driving to Sicily on vacation. We had donated his organs and corneas to seven Italians, four of them teenagers. The organizers of our visit wanted to honor the power of love and chose to see it in our story. The ceremony was held in a packed hall and, whenever Nicholas was mentioned, there was total, almost […]
Do I Ever Stop Being a Bereaved Parent?
January 29, 2010
I was asked by a friend of mine if we ever stop being bereaved parents. My friend is also a bereaved parent. It was an interesting question, because approximately two years after my daughter Jeannine died, I decided that I didn’t want to be a bereaved parent anymore. The daily pain and suffering became too much for me. I wanted my life to be the way it was before Jeannine died. I stopped going to my parental bereavement support group and tried to not think about the pain of losing my precious daughter. I became more miserable as a result […]
Bereaved Mom ‘Saved’ by Looking Outward, Helping Others
January 23, 2010
After the death of our daughter Lori, I was completely devastated. Everything I believed about life was tossed out the window and I was filled with despair. It felt as if grief would destroy me. Much of that time is now a blur, too painful to remember. But I do recall clearly my feeling of disconnection from most of the world of the living. My life had been ruined and I had no idea what to do. The friends with whom I’d surrounded myself before Lori’s death had no way of knowing how to befriend me in this, and I […]
Kevin Quiles: Finding Resilience to Cope
January 21, 2010
Kevin Quiles shares his story of losing his infant daughter and learning how to cope. To learn more about Kevin https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/audio.opentohope.com/2010/01/Kevin_Quiles_012110.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
When to Tell – and Not Tell – Your Grief Story
January 19, 2010
Last month, my husband and I went to a holiday party. We enjoyed the food, piano music, and visiting with friends. As we prepared to leave, a friend asked what I was doing these days. When I told her we were raising our twin grandchildren because their parents had died in separate car crashes, her jaw dropped. “That’s unbelievable,” she said. Another person overheard our conversation and was obviously uncomfortable with my honesty. This is not the first time this has happened. Years ago, I had a similar experience. I answered a question honestly and a guest commented, “Please don’t […]
