Open to Hope Articles
Do you want to read stories of others who have been where you are? Are you looking for bereavement help, and advice? Look no further. We offer over 3,000 articles written by our Open to Hope authors.
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Marked by Death, for the Rest of Our Lives
November 16, 2009
After my four-year-old died, I was certain my family would never be the same again. It is true and has been proven over and over that we will no longer be the typical family living at the end of the cul-de-sac. We may look the same (only because I have not been daring enough to don all black as our Victorian ancestors) but our hearts have been mangled and our future dimmed. Through death we have been marked—for life. In the course of any given week, I can clearly note how the changes have come and stayed with us. Events […]
Death of Child Affects Relationships Throughout Family
November 12, 2009
When anyone we love dies our lives are changed; things we had planned will no longer be the same. The death of a child is often the least expected death, and the ongoing effect upon the remaining family can seem endless. One of the commonest things I hear said is: “You don’t expect to attend the funeral of your children.” We assume in life that we will grow old, having watched our children become people and take their place in the adult world. We are concerned for their well-being and on occasion may find ourselves thinking about a time when […]
Poem: First Thanksgiving
November 12, 2009
The thought of being thankful fills my heart with dread. They’ll all be feigning gladness, not a word about her said. These heavy shrouds of blackness enveloping my soul, pervasive, throat-catching, writhe in me, and coil. I must, I must acknowledge, just express her name, so all sitting at the table, know I’m thankful that she came. Though she’s gone from us forever and we mourn to see her face, not one minute of her living, would her death ever replace. So I stop the cheerful gathering, though my voice quivers, quakes, make a toast to all her living. That […]
Giving to Others Helped Mom Make it Through Loss of Daughter
November 10, 2009
After my daughter passed away, I eventually grew tired of the hopelessness. My Christian faith allows me to believe that the Lord will bring good from every situation. I needed to find hope; reason to believe that good could come from our tragedy. As I began my desperate search for goodness, I looked around and realized we had many things that we no longer needed. You see, my daughter was a twin; we practically had two of everything, including stuffed animals. Our surviving twin daughter was hospitalized in neonatal intensive care for 89 days. I thought of all the children […]
Mom’s Greatest Hero Was Only Four When He Died
November 10, 2009
I suppose my high school English teacher would like to think he made the biggest impression in my life. He loved to quote Shakespeare, Bryon and Keats. He could whip up a gourmet French dinner in a few hours. He knew Latin and spoke Japanese. “Class, class, you’ll thank me one day,” he’d tell us as we’d groan about the lengthy books assigned for homework. But the truth is, two decades later, I have another hero. My hero was only four, could not read or write and yet he taught me through his short life lessons no adult could ever […]
Saying Inappropriate Things to Bereaved Parents
November 8, 2009
When on your grief journey, you may hear people say things to you that are not appropriate at all. Perhaps that person was only trying to comfort you or has never lost a child and has no idea what you are feeling or going through. Certain phrases and sentences to others may seem like a way to show they care and are thinking about you, but all it really does is make you mad. Some of those phrases and my reactions (in italic type) to myself or others include: “Your child is in a better place.” No, she’s not. She […]
Chuck Collins: The Power of Hope
November 5, 2009
Chuck is a national board member of The Compassionate Friends, attorney and former police commander. He is also the author of Holding on to Love, Searching for Hope When a child dies. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/audio.opentohope.com/2010/10/Chuck-Collins-1105091.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
The Daniel Journal
November 5, 2009
I embraced it; I loathed it. It was a cloth bound book with blue and red swirled flowers on the cover. Inside were the raw words from my heart and soul. Once it was filled with crisp, lined pages. That was the day it was gifted to me by my three-year-old son Daniel’s oncology nurse. That day it was just a pretty journal. Daniel smiled as I thanked this nurse for her thoughtful present. Months later, this object contained sentences no one wants to ever write. Never far from me, I lived for moments when I could take respite from […]
The Cup of Coffee: Small Kindnesses Help in Big Ways
November 4, 2009
October, for me, will always be radiation month. My son Daniel was diagnosed with cancer in May, and by the fall, he was scheduled for radiation treatments every morning. For two weeks, after putting my six-year-old daughter on the school bus, my sons and I would make the trek to UNC Hospital. After unbuckling both four-year-old Daniel and eleven-month-old Benjamin from their car seats, I would put Benjamin in a stroller. The three of us would enter the clinic. As we sat in the lobby, waiting for Daniel’s turn for the tumor on his neck to be radiated, coffee in […]
