Open to Hope Articles
Do you want to read stories of others who have been where you are? Are you looking for bereavement help, and advice? Look no further. We offer over 3,000 articles written by our Open to Hope authors.
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Grievers Need to Tell Their Stories
May 6, 2024
Grievers Need to Tell Their Stories Because of the personal and varying nature of grief, I believe that narratives—stories—are critically important and helpful both for accepting death and coping with loss. Initially, we often need to tell our story of a death over and over to ourselves internally or to others. This helps us assimilate what has happened. It is almost as if we need to imprint the experience to make it real. I once had a wise mentor who was supervising my work with a patient who kept telling his history over and over. I asked her when she thought he would stop repeating […]
Writing Through the Pain of an Unsolved Homicide
May 6, 2024
Writing Through the Pain of an Unsolved Homicide Sometimes a sprout can push through a crack in a sidewalk. Likewise, openings for self-empowerment and healing can grow while living with the cement-like pain of an unsolved homicide. By diving into our inward landscape and releasing that which grips internally, our relationship with and response to external experiences may be transformed. Writing creates a path to allow what lies beneath the surface to be harnessed in meaningful and productive ways. Why Write? Verbalizing feelings comes with risks; to reveal means to expose and make vulnerable. Writing connects the brain to the […]
The Many Types of Tears
April 29, 2024
The Many Types of Tears I’ve cried about every type of cry there is since Libby died. There are the public, tears-silently-running-down-the-cheeks cries and the I’m-so-sad-I-just-have-to-get-it-out, medium-sized cries, and then there are the I-am-so-hysterical-I-literally-can’t-breathe-and-want-to-die cries. One evening, I cried so hard that I actually broke a blood vessel in my nose and blood started pouring out onto my desk and lap. I was in my office and ran to the bathroom, where I just stood there, hunched over on the sink for support, while the blood gushed out of my nose and I sobbed and choked. I don’t get nosebleeds, […]
Why Routines Help When You’re Grieving
April 29, 2024
Why Routines Help When You’re Grieving Think of your favorite comfort food, the coziest blanket you own, or the pleasure of consuming a warm cup of hot chocolate before bed. All these things make you feel better, right? They’re like big, squeezie hugs (as Libby would say) because they are familiar. And it’s this familiarity that makes routines so amazing. They’re like a comforting, dependable embrace during times of grief. Knowing simple things like when you’re going to wake up in the morning, what you’re going to eat, and that you’re going to take a walk each Thursday with a […]
‘Restoration’ in the Grief Process
April 29, 2024
Repairing Heirlooms My best friend and wife (same person) has a new entertainment obsession: the British television show, The Repair Shop. In each episode, master craftspeople receive and expertly, and amazingly, repair a wide variety of family heirlooms, including toys, furniture, household items, art pieces, and tools. Part of the appeal is the demonstration of incredible skill and creativity to repair broken and heavily damaged items. Another significant part of the appeal is the family members and their stories. Each item in need of repair has a rich history full of meaning. The ability of the item to carry that […]
Widow Loses Confidence after Her Loss
April 29, 2024
Confidence Lost Of the many things I could not have known about grief following the death of my husband, Matt, was how worthless and inept I would feel. It made no sense. I had been through the excruciating experience of losing him. Why did I lose my own self-confidence? I was no longer able to function professionally for a long time, a huge blow for me, a management consultant. Thus, I found myself also grieving the loss of my professional credibility. It didn’t help that I couldn’t drive at first—I was literally afraid to get behind the wheel at first […]
A Letter to Suicide Survivors
April 25, 2024
Dear Suicide Survivors: You are not alone. I know it feels that way, but I can assure you that there is help. I know you feel that no one can relate to what you’re going through, that your world is hopeless, and that your life will never be worth living. Sadly, I felt the exact same way. I’m not going to tell you that things will be okay. I’m not going to pretend what happened didn’t. And I’m not going to let you feel shame over this circumstance. But I am going to help you find hope in the midst […]
Returning to Work after a Major Loss
April 22, 2024
Returning to Teach after a Major Loss Every day, walking back into my classroom was an immense challenge. For those unfamiliar with teaching—imagine performing in a theater, five days a week for five hours a day. It’s absolutely draining. And when you’re battling grief, it feels impossible. My colleagues were amazing, but there’s only so much that can be done to ease such a profound pain. Going through all the “firsts” without Libby—her birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, the anniversary of her passing—in front of a room full of eighth-graders who are kids with raging hormones about thirteen or fourteen years […]
How We Heal After the Death of a Child
April 22, 2024
The death of a child is so profound, it’s like no other loss. There’s no such thing as getting over the death of a child. Instead, bereaved parents must learn to adapt to a new life without our child’s physical presence. It’s part of the long, slow process of healing after the death of a child. Devastating Pain If you’re never fully healed after a child’s death, how can you gauge your healing progress? The intense pain after my 4-year-old daughter’s death felt devastating and unbearable. The most common question from newly bereaved parents in child loss support groups is […]
