Open to Hope Articles
Do you want to read stories of others who have been where you are? Are you looking for bereavement help, and advice? Look no further. We offer over 3,000 articles written by our Open to Hope authors.
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The Lonely Year for Widows
December 28, 2023
The Lonely Year for Widows After so many losses in one year, loneliness was personal for me. We’d had Golden Retrievers for years, and I missed them. One dog was named Sally and the other was named Max. I longed to have a pet again, but according to retirement community rules, I could only have fish. In my mind, fish weren’t true pets; they didn’t respond to names or offer affection. For centuries, dogs had adapted to humans and learned to “read” their body language and conversation. While it was fun to see the pet therapy dogs that came to […]
A Christmas Promise
December 25, 2023
A Christmas Promise On a long-ago Christmas Eve, I made my last visit to a patient as her hospice chaplain. I was honoring a promise made weeks before. While a December storm spit rain, and clouds played hide-and-seek with the stars, I held the hand of a dying woman. In the surrounding neighborhood, holiday lights flickered, inflatable Santas and snowmen waved greetings, and outdoor ornaments sparkled as the gusting wind teased them. In the patient’s room, it was quiet. In the patient’s room, she now mostly slept. New Obligations I’d already started working as a congregation’s new minister. It had […]
The Last Christmas Stocking
December 24, 2023
The First Christmas Stocking The first Christmas stocking I ever made was in 1960. I was 10 years old and living in Walnut Creek, California with my parents, Ted and Lillian. We didn’t have too many Christmas rituals, no church services or Advent candles. There was a china nativity set. It was small, but had all the important characters. We had a tree, of course. And my stocking. That red felt stocking was put up every year and I found it filled up every Christmas morning. As the Christmas of 1960 approached, my mom said, “This will be Daddy’s last […]
Wishing the Holidays Would Go Away: Tips for Coping
December 21, 2023
Holiday Pain Many people love the first crisp, nip of fall in the air. To those who are grieving, it can coldly cut deep into the spirit and re-open the wound. While children are making wishes to Santa, those that are living with the pain of loss are wishing the holidays would go away. If only wishing made it so. The moment the holiday lights come out, you may feel like you want to sit in the dark. You may not want to put out your decorations. You may not feel like lighting the candles of your faith. You may […]
A Widower’s Christmas Wish List
December 19, 2023
From as far away as Australia to the British Isles, from Canada to Nigeria, the Widowers Support Network hears the cries of men who mourn the loss of their wife, their soul mates, their partners in life. They don’t ask for much, never have, never will. After all, men who mourn are expected to “get over it,” right? You know, be a man. Macho, if you will. Unfortunately, that’s not the way it was meant to be. It is said that to grieve, you first must have loved. For without love, grief does not exist. To have loved is among […]
Guilty Thoughts and Grief
December 18, 2023
Guilty Thoughts and Grief Guilt can be a sticky burden and a useful teacher. We need people to feel guilty when they do something wrong. People who don’t feel guilty are generally not safe, and they miss out on important lessons on what it means to be kind, faithful, and compassionate. Guilt can be a good teacher of just these things. The problem for most of us, however, is not that we feel too little guilt, it’s that we feel too much and for too long. Guilt can be a big part of grief, too. A very common and stubbornly […]
Joining a Grief Support Group
December 11, 2023
Joining a Grief Support Group Joining a support group can help those who are grieving. Many support groups were available in my area, and they differed widely. Before I joined a group, I did my homework and considered the following factors. Factors in Joining a Support Group Type of group: Support groups are supposed to meet needs. They include faith-based groups, disease-specific groups, end-of-life groups, after-death groups, and more. I wanted to find a group that fit my needs. The meeting place: Support groups meet in churches, hospitals, and places that have a minimal charge or are free. I looked […]
When Someone Asks: ‘How Are You?’
December 11, 2023
After I’d lost several family members in a short time, the question “How are you?” always threw me off-balance. How did the person think I was after so much tragedy? Usually when someone asks this question, they expect one reply: “Fine.” I used this answer at first to end painful conversations. But I wasn’t fine, knew it, and came up with different answers to this common question. Months passed, and my next answer to the question was, “Okay.” I liked the answer because it was common language and fit many situations. “Getting along” was my third answer, the one I […]
Jews Grieve Terrorism Against Israel
December 11, 2023
Grief is a journey I know too well. I lost my husband and my mom to cancer within a few weeks of each other. But right now, I find myself experiencing grief on a whole new level, and this time in the company of a whole nation. The recent heartbreaking, terror-based, horrifying incident in Israel on October 7, where many innocent lives were lost and are still being lost, has unfortunately plunged the Jewish people into a realm of complicated grief. In facing this collective sorrow, I find myself resorting to familiar tools that once helped me cope with personal […]
