Our 32 year old son died on Aug. 17,2007. I commend Naomi for returning to work. Our mornings are unbearable – our family does not know how to go on from here. We look at his pics and smile and then start crying. What could we have done differently we ask ourselves every minute. I am going to grief counseling but my husband cannot. Our son had won his battle with his demonswe incorrectly believed. He too, had started on a new journey, as a partner in a thriving business, looking for a new house and then this needless end to it all. Such futility?

Dear Bea,

We are so very sorry for your loss. Losing a child, regardless of his age and circumstances, is the hardest thing most of us have to experience and your wounds are still very fresh and very raw. A month is such a short time and we encourage you to be gentle with yourself. Crying is very healthy after such a loss and we encourage you to express your feelings whether through words or tears.?

One group we?ve found that is very helpful is Compassionate Friends. They have groups all over the country to help grieving parents by giving them help and comfort. Each member has experienced the death of a child and each has survived and grieved in his or her own way. With this group you do not have to walk this path alone and that is so important. We encourage you to go to http://www.compassionatefriends.org/? and see if there is a group in your area and to get involved as soon as you can. They can help you and your family know how to go on from here.

We also invite you to listen on Thursday mornings to the radio show Healing the Grieving Heart? You can find information about it and a link to it on the first page of http://www.thegriefblog.com? You might also find a number of past shows that can give you help and comfort at http://thegriefblog.com/grief-grieving-death-of-a-child/?

We are posting your letter and our response on The Grief Blog. Many people read it every day and your letter may help others who are experiencing such a loss as yours. You may see it at http://www.thegriefblog.com.


Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley

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