Although a common thread connects the stages of grief, the journey of sorrow materializes differently for each person who trudges through it. From overwhelming emotion, timeless pain and isolation to frozen reality or numbness, self-destruction and complete denial, grief is customized to each individual.
It is also very real and may be devastating when you lose a pet who has been an integral part of your family!
I lost my beloved Scruples on April 27 of this year. My cat, who reminded me of Garfield, had just turned 20 years old. He was with me, as my best friend, for half of my adult life. My baby was there giving me unconditional love through some of the hardest times of my life: the loss of my marriage, my job and many loved ones.
Many sites such as the Mycog website (http://www.mycog.com/5stagesofgrief.htm) list five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. They explain the first stage as a refusal to believe what has happened. The next step is bargaining. Have you ever tried to make a deal with God? This is the reality of this stage and most of us have been there at some time in our lives.
Depression follows bargaining, and it is described as the most difficult. Overpowered by exhaustion, your zest for life is drained. Most of us suffer some variation of this phase also. Acceptance is the last step. This is where you realize life must go on and you reluctantly start to move forward again.
Today, my mind seems to be in the acceptance stage as I know logically he isn’t with me physically anymore although my heart hasn’t quite caught up with my mind yet. It is stuck in a more mild stage of depression, causing bursts of sadness at the most unexpected times.
I would love my world to go back to the way it was prior to his death but I realize this isn’t possible and my resistance only prolongs the agony.
I’m coping by trying to embrace all of these emotions and by channeling my sorrow into a positive and creative area. I’m honoring his name by creating a new line of bereavement products called “Light of Love for Scruples.”
His loving impact on my spirit has inspired this line and it has helped me to find the courage to brave my world without him.
I’m pushing forward knowing my little angel is with me in a new way. I’m stamping his paw print on each and every product that my business, Lifetime Art Impressions, ships into the world!
I’m not sure which stage of grief you are suffering today but I’m sure your loss is significant. Remember, your loved one would want you to embrace and to live your healthiest life possible. Let this help you to find the strength to move forward again by making them very proud!Tags: grief, hope
Dear Kathryn: How well I understand the devestating loss of your pet, Scruples! Pets can often be much more comforting than people because of their marvelous unconditional love and understanding. They are “just there” for you when you need them most. Our family has lost several wonderful pets, one of whom was my father’s Boxer, “Moreover”. I wrote a book for children grieving the death of a beloved pet called “The Secret of the Angel Animals”. The story is told in “First Dog” by Moreover and even though it was originally written for children, I thought you might find some comfort in it. “The Secret of the Angel Animals” will be available for download as an ebook on Monday, June 14, 2010 on my website at http://www.wingsofhopenow.com. I have no doubt that Moreover has made Scruples feel right at home in “Heavenly Meadows”!
Blessings on you in this season of sorrow,