‘Surrendering in Hope’

There is a difference between giving up in despair —“I can’t do this anymore!”— and surrendering in hope —“I can’t do this anymore by myself.”

Surrendering in hope is not giving up, it is looking up. It’s a willingness to ask for help. It is allowing what you cannot control to unfold in its own way and time. It is the recognition that the unseen world can support you in the seen world.

When you are unwilling to tolerate unexpected events or ambiguity, you are not free. You are imprisoned by the need to know and the compulsion to find answers when no answers are forthcoming. Surrender your ego and inspiration will flow.

When You Are Reeling

When your life is turned upside down, when a major illness sends you reeling, you are forced to take a new road. That’s where your new journey begins, the outcome of which is never knowable in advance.

Surrendering in hope means peacefully coexisting with uncertainty. The more you try to reduce uncertainty when you have no real control, the more inner turmoil you create.

Excerpted from Finding Peace When Your Heart Is In Pieces: A Step-by-Step Guide to the Other Side of Grief, Loss, and Pain: Coleman, Paul: 0045079573383: Amazon.com: Books

Read more by Paul Coleman on Open to Hope: https://www.opentohope.com/the-music-of-life/ ‎

Paul Coleman

Dr. Paul Coleman is a psychologist in private practice for over thirty years and the author of a dozen books including his most recent “Finding Peace When Your Heart Is in Pieces” (ADAMS MEDIA, 2014). He has appeared on national television shows such as “OPRAH” and “TODAY” and has appeared on dozens of national radio shows including NPR and WABC. Dr. Coleman specializes in the treatment of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder as well helping people through grief and other life transitions. For fun, Paul enjoys acting and has appeared in over forty community theater stage productions. He recently appeared as a grief counselor in the HBO series “I Know This Much Is True” starring Mark Ruffalo. He has written several stage plays—as yet unpublished—but has had readings of his plays performed in New York City and Austin, Texas. Paul and his wife have three children and four grandchildren.

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