There is a difference between healing and curing. We cannot change a diagnosis or a loss that has occurred. We cannot be sure that we will be cured. But we can take steps in healing.

Healing is the ability to faces one’s fear with courage, forgive oneself and others, and express love. As we do this, we strengthen our spiritual life and learn to accept support. Healing is always possible.

This does not mean the disease has been cured. Rather, it means we are able to accept the diagnosis and receive support.

Unfortunately, many people define their life story by their illness or their loss. We often become disheartened when we define ourselves based on our struggles.

It is interesting how people say, “I’m not courageous because inside I’m shaking and scared like crazy.” Being fearless and courageous are not one and the same. We can both be scared and courageous.

There’s a difference between healing and curing. Even without a cure, we can heal. We can be proud of what we face each day and how we step in even with trepidation. I admire those who can show what they authentically feel.

This is excerpted from Kelly Grosklags’ book A Comforted Heart: An oncology psychotherapist’s perspective on finding meaning and hope during illness and loss: Grosklags, Kelly: 9781979859998: Books (

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Kelly Grosklags

Kelly Grosklags, LICSW BCD FAAGC is author of “A Comforted Heart: An oncology psychotherapist’s perspective on finding meaning and hope during grief and loss.” In her 25 years of experience, Kelly has helped patients, families, caregivers, and clinicians understand and cope with grief, loss, and traumatic illness. Kelly founded an online forum of hope and healing, called “Conversations with Kelly .” She is also the award-winning filmmaker behind a ground-breaking educational documentary titled “Dying Is Not Giving Up ” which aims to teach compassion and empathy to future medical providers. Kelly is an international speaker, podcast host and social media blogger. For more information on Kelly, her work, and her healing community visit

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