Grieving teenagers often mourn in ways adults misread — through anger, withdrawal, or seeming indifference. Here’s how teens grieve, what they need, and how parents and caregivers can support a grieving adolescent.
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Talking to children about death is one of the hardest conversations bereaved families face — and one of the most important. Here is an age-by-age guide to talking to kids about death, what language to use, and how to support grieving children of every age.
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I’ve never loved anyone the way I loved Rob. Six years ago, I joined the world’s worst club when my older son shot and killed himself. He was 28. Rob suffered from depression, bipolar disorder, and alcoholism. After he died, it was my turn to find out what suffering really means. After he died, it was my turn to find out what suffering really means. In the first few weeks and months, I was gutted and in shock. So were my ex-wife, Caryn and my younger son, Zach. Our family had been destroyed. The whole thing seemed surreal—time was out […]
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Trying to make sense of suicide is a fool’s errand, and I’ve been that fool ever since my son Rob died. Losing any relative to suicide is traumatic, but it’s particularly devastating for parents, who feel like a failure in the most important job of their lives. I tortured myself for the better part of two years, asking the same questions over and over again—is there anything we could’ve done to prevent Rob from doing what he did? In the days and weeks after his death, the answer seemed obvious: yes! For God’s sake, I was with him […]
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Andrea, I was hoping you could lend me one of your big purses. I opened the closet where they are stored. To my disappointment, the big ones I remember were not there. I’m not sure, perhaps I lent them on your behalf, and my grief brain doesn’t remember. At first, I was disappointed and sad, a minor frustration compared to the grief I carry daily, but it caused me to pause. I know you understand. I started to look in the closet quietly, and my eyes focused on the purse you had that day—the beautiful lilac-colored one with darker purple […]
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The long winter months can be especially confining, isolating and challenging when grieving a loss. But you can also engage in unique ways that will help you bear your loss. Here are some winter grief activities and projects (or for any time of year): start an indoor gardens/terrariums/terrarium memorial garden take up a new hobby/craft, learn new skills/enhance existing ones enroll in an online class (many are self-paced) write your autobiography or a biography about your loved one start a Blog (many free options with public/private settings) volunteer at church, care-facilities and non-profits plan and gather materials for spring projects give […]
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Young People Grieving Over Multiple Losses A “new normal” has invaded old paradigms and left kids missing a past world, uncertain of the present, and anxious of what tomorrow will bring. More than ever, adults must become role models, listen to their children’s pleas, understand the forces behind their behaviors, and care for their tender hearts yearning to be heard and respected. Perhaps the new normal is just an open door into the transformation of antiquated ways of being that have outgrown themselves The issues and grief techniques found in the previous edition of my book, Life and Loss, are […]
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Young People Grieve Through Creativity During the pandemic, the resilience of many girls and boys soared to new levels as they courageously rose to the occasion. The following are two examples of pioneering teens, Madeleine and Lulu. Through using their attributes of perseverance and connectivity, they were both able to transform despair into activism. Thirteen-year-old Madeleine converted an eighth-grade project into a healing experience for peers experiencing a death during the pandemic. Madeleine created the COVID Memorial Quilt. She encourages others her age to join by adding a piece of the quilt in memory of a loved one. Madeleine’s Mom […]
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Young People’s Grief during the Pandemic The pandemic has produced a myriad of loss issues impossible to have imagined just a few years ago. Young people cannot go to school, eat lunch in the cafeteria, play with friends, see their teachers in-person, enjoy recess, learn in a classroom, or partake in the holidays with their entire family. College students who come home for family holidays are continuously anxious about getting the virus or giving it to their parents. Sara, a college freshman explained, “I’ve had seven COVID19 tests and am doing one more before Thanksgiving. It is so stressful. I […]
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Telling Young Children of a Suicide Parents are often understandably concerned about how the harsh fact of a suicide in the family, particularly of a parent, will affect their children. They may wonder whether telling their children–particularly young children–the truth about the death will cause more harm than good. And if they do decide to tell their children the truth, they struggle to find the words to explain what they find very hard to understand themselves – “Why did this person take their life?” It is important to know something about the developmental processes that children experience as they grow […]
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I’m 12 years old and our family is living in a 3rd floor apartment. The phone rings on this summer day. Mom answers. I watch the color leave her face. I hear sentence fragments. “A lone driver…he didn’t see her…the truck was backing up……a closed casket.” Hanging up the phone, Mom tells all of us to come and sit down. She said that Julie, our six-year-old cousin, had won a bicycle and she ran outside to ride it. Julie hoped everyone would see her, but the garbage man didn’t. Julie died. It was hard to see my mom cry. It […]
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In our predominantly fun childhood, the one thing kids were never allowed to do was to participate in the funeral-related activities when someone passed away. Grief and sadness were simply not on the agenda. When someone died, my brothers, sisters, and I would keep playing kickball and jumping on the trampoline, while our parents did funeral things. After the service, we rarely talked about the person who had died. Even in the years that followed, we didn’t do much to remember our beloved family members who were now gone. As an adult, I learned quickly that shielding kids from sorrow […]
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Guiding a Child Through Parent-Loss Losing a parent is a profound and challenging experience, especially for children. The loss of her beloved father forever changed my daughter’s world when she was just 10 years old. The emotional road she has traveled in seven years has been a rollercoaster ride, filled with moments of both strength and vulnerability. In the immediate aftermath of her father’s passing, my daughter was confronted with a whirlwind of emotions. As her mom, I had the daunting task of giving her the sad news. I made a decision, right before his passing, of allowing her to […]
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Children Shocked by Mass Tragedies In 1963, it was the assassination of a president. In 1986, it was the explosion of the Space Shuttle witnessed by millions of children on TV. September 11, 2001, was the terrorist attack. For the past 20 years it has been school shootings, the most recent in Uvalde, Texas. Each of these shocking events thrusts our children into the face of death in a sudden and graphic way. Imagine that you are a ten-year-old child. Kids your age were killed as they innocently sat in their classroom. Many questions spring to your young mind: “Am […]
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Grieving People Have All the Feelings Sometimes a death impacts a school or community organization, like a church or Boy Scout troop. A child or teacher dies, and I am invited to facilitate a one-time grief support discussion with children or teenagers. It’s a very condensed experience. I start with establishing rapport and gradually (but also quickly) move into talking about death in movies and books, the difference between grief and mourning, and the person who died. We start with the person and their life because while their death and how they died was very important, even more important is the […]
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Every single day, I’m seeing news of another mass shooting. It’s not okay. And more than expressing our concern about gun laws, we need to have the conversations about grief. All of us grieve after mass shootings. We are traumatized. But few acknowledge the significance of this grief, let alone address it. So we need to have the conversations. With ourselves, each other, our children. Parents all over the globe want to protect their children. For many, this means shielding them from adult topics. But when is protecting actually harming? Children Mourn a Shooting This is the world we live in. These are […]
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Telling the Children My wife was dying, and telling the children was the next step. My wife and I struck out on our journey to prepare, protect, and parent our three sweet teenage daughters. There is no right or wrong way to convey this message. But there may be better or worse ways to help your children transition through one of the most difficult experiences of their young lives. Oddly, we did not realize the enormity of the task we were undertaking at the time, probably due to stress, fatigue, and emotional exhaustion. But we both felt in telling the […]
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How do we understand bereaved children and support them after a loss? Join host Dr. Gloria Horsley, and her co-host and daughter Dr. Heidi Horsley, with their guests: Dr. Dan Wolfson, and Jordan Gross and learn techniques for helping children. Dr. Dan Wolfson is a licensed Clinical Psychologist, and the Senior Clinical Director of Experience Camps Adult Grief Retreat; he is an Adjunct Researcher and Professional Education Trainer at Columbia University’s Center for Prolonged Grief. Dr. Dan’s mother died of cancer when he was 18 yrs. old, and he is the author of; My Whole Grief. Jordon Gross is a […]
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How do we help teens and young adults navigate their changing world after a death? Join host Dr. Gloria Horsley, and her daughter and co-host Dr. Heidi Horsley, along with their guests Jordon Gross, Dr. Dan Wolfson, and Elizabeth Devita-Raeburn for an informative and honest conversation about this topic. Jordon Gross is a licensed Clinical Social Worker, and a staff psychotherapist at Wolfson Therapy. He is a training specialist for the New York Psychotherapy and Counseling Center. Jordan has extensive experience providing support to Grief Camps such as Camp COPE, and is the author of; My Whole Grief. Dr. Dan […]
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The impact of a death on a newborn’s world is a minimized and unacknowledged loss. Join host Dr. Gloria Horsley, and her daughter and co-host, Dr. Heidi Horsley and their guest Dr. Sarah Vollmann, whose sister died before she was born in a drowning accident. Sarah is a registered board-certified art therapist, licensed clinical social worker, and faculty member of The Portland Institute. She is the Associate Director of The Young Widowhood Project, and the Author of: Born Into Loss: Shadows of a Deceased Sibling.
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How do we take care of ourselves when we are so busy taking care of others after a loss? Join Host Dr. Heidi Horsley and her guests Tysha Scott and Anne Smith as they discuss the importance of the preservation of self. Tysha Scott is the owner and management consultant of TS Management Consulting and is the Executive Board Member of Classic Stage Company. Tysha has been a theater teacher for middle school, high school, and college. She was married to Phillip Randall Scott for 30 yrs. until his untimely death. Anne Smith is one of nine children, and her […]
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Are you wondering how to connect with grieving children and help them navigate their grief? Join host Dr. Heidi Horsley and her co-host Doneley Meris, along with guests Lindsey Whissel Fenton and Greg Adams, as they discuss tips and tools to support grieving children. Doneley Meris is the Founder and Director of the HIV Arts Network and an adjunct faculty member at NYU and Hunter College. Lindsey Whissel Fenton is the creator of Speaking Grief and Learning Grief, and host of The Apologies Podcast. She also serves on the Board of Directors for the National Alliance for Childrens’ Grief. Greg […]
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How does one deal with murder and parent loss? Join Dr’s Gloria and Heidi Horsley and their guest Reginald L. Reed Jr. as he recalls the events surrounding the unsolved murder of his 26-year-old mother and the indictment and trial of his father 32 years later. Learn how he has coped and thrived in spite of childhood trauma. He is the author of The Day My Mother Never Came Home. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/content.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/Reginald-L-Reed-Jr-Losing-a-Parent-and-Childhood-Trauma.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Wondering how to help a grieving family? Join Dr’s Gloria and Heidi Horsley and their guest Anne-Marie Conlan LMHC Program Director of the Bereavement Center of Westchester and overseer of the Tree House program providing comfort and healing specifically for families with children that have experienced the death of a parent or sibling. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/content.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/Anne-Marie-Conlan-LMHC-Supporting-Families-in-Grief.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Wondering how families can cope with suicide? Join Dr’s Heidi and Gloria Horsley and their guest Attorney and bereaved spouse Abby Dart for candid discussion of the loss to Abby’s husband, Steve to suicide and the challenges of raising 5 children. Abby is an advocate for mental health and removing the stigma related to treatment. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/content.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/ABBY-DART-Coping-With-The-Loss-of-a-Spouse-to-Suicide.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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A Conversation with Jenny Lisk Experiencing isolation in your grief journey? Join Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley, along with guest Jenny Lisk, a bereaved mom, podcaster, and founder of the Widowed Parents Institute. Gain insights and practical tools for supporting children after the death of a parent. Jenny, an Open to Hope writer and the author of “Widowed Parents Unite,” shares valuable tips on navigating this challenging aspect of loss. After the loss of Dr. Gloria Horsley’s husband, getting back in the game was hard, but she realized finding love in your golden years doesn’t have to be complicated. In […]
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Concerned about a bereaved child? Dr. Gloria Horsley and Dr. Frank Powers are joined by their guest Andy McNiel, a child bereavement expert. Gain valuable tips and tools on effectively helping bereaved kids. Andy, the Executive Director of the Satori Group, brings expertise in child advocacy and is the co-author of “Understanding and Supporting Bereaved Children.” https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/content.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/Andy-McNiel-Navigating-Support-for-Bereaved-Children.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Has losing a friend taken you down? Join Dr’s Gloria and Heidi Horsley and their guest Jonas for a discussion of the complexity of the death of a friend. Jonas lost her best friend to cancer at age 19. She is the author and illustrator of Ham’s Big Adventure, a book written to help children cope with loss. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/content.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/Jonas-Grieving-a-Friend.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Is your major concern a grieving child? Join Dr’s Gloria and Heidi Horsley and their guest Leila W. Salisbury the executive director of The Kentucky Center for Grieving Children and Families. Leila has professional as well as personal experience as she raised a grieving child after her husband died when her daughter was 5 years old. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/content.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/Leila-W-Salisbury-Helping-Grieving-Children.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Dr. Tashel Borderet & Dr. Heidi Horsley, at the 44th annual conference for the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC). https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/Dr.-Tashel-Borderet-Dr.-Heidi-Horsley-Supporting-Marginalized-Children-Suffering-a-Loss.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Greg Adams, at the 44th annual conference for the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC). https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/Greg-Adams-Helping-Grieving-Children-Heal.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Monique Mitchell, at the 44th annual conference for the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC). https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/Monique-Mitchell-Children-and-Youth-in-Foster-Care-Grieving-Losses.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Looking for grief support and information? Join Dr’s Gloria and Heidi Horsley and their guest Brennan Wood Executive Director of Dougy Center: The National Grief Center for Children & Families based in Portland, Oregon. Brennan not only talks the talk, but she has walked the walk when at age 12 her mother died. Brennan is the author of A Kids Book About Grief. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/Brennan-Wood-Helping-Bereaved-Kids-and-Families.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Brianne Overton, at the 44th annual conference for the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC). https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/Brianne-Overton-Helping-Kids-Cope-with-Grief.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Brianne Overton, at the 44th annual conference for the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC). https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/Brianne-Overton-Summer-Camp-for-Grieving-Kids.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Sarah Vollmann, at the 44th annual conference for the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC). https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/Sarah-Vollmann-Healing-Through-Art-Therapy.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Have you thought about giving your loss purpose? Join Dr’s Gloria and Heidi Horsley and their guest Sadie Cinader and learn how Sadie at age 14 has turned her losses at age 10 into a mission to let other grieving children know they are not alone in their grief. Sadie has started a non-profit and makes and distributes supportive items she calls “Comfort Kits for Kids.” https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/Sadie-Cinader-Peer-Support-for-Bereaved-Kids.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Dr. Brook Griese, Ph.D., is a licensed clinical psychologist who has devoted her career to supporting the resilience and growth of children and families impacted by trauma, loss, and adversity. She is the board chair and former CEO of Judi’s House/JAG Institute, a comprehensive family bereavement center she co-founded with her husband Brian in memory of his mother who died when he was 12. Since 2002, this Colorado nonprofit has provided grief care to more than 12,000 children and caregivers, created a grief-informed network of providers through its internship and postgraduate training programs, and helped elevate the issue of childhood […]
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Dr. Donna L. Schuurman is a member of the International Work Group on Death, Dying, and Bereavement, and a founding board member of The National Alliance for Grieving Children. She has trained the National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) and FBI’s Rapid Deployment teams, as well as medical personnel, NGO staff and caregivers following major natural and manmade disasters including the Oklahoma City bombing, 9/11, Japan’s 1995 Kobe earthquake and 3/11 earthquake, and the school shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary and Umpqua Community College. She serves as a national trainer for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) and is a […]
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Do you have a grieving child Under Age 5? Join Dr’s Gloria and Heidi Horsley and their guest Maria Soter expert in Social Services talk about helping young siblings. Maria is the founder of The Sammy Center named for her deceased son Sammy. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/Maria-Soter_-Young-Children-Dealing-with-Grief-and-Loss.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Are you looking for a way to discuss grief, loss and hope with your preteen? Join Dr’s Gloria and Heidi Horsley and their guest Jessica Vitalis author of The Wolf’s Curse for tips on using fiction as an opening to real life issues. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Jessica-Vitalis_-Using-Fiction-to-Talk-to-Children-About-Death.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Are you feeling a connection with your deceased loved one pet or human but can’t quite explain it? Join Dr’s Gloria and Heidi Horsley and their guest Patrice Karst for a heartwarming discussion of what links us all. Patrice is author of The Invisible String; The Invisible Leash; The Invisible Web; You Are Never Alone; co-author of The Invisible String Workbook. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/Patrice-Karst_-Connections-with-the-Deceased.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Are you needing encouragement and support after the death of a spouse? Join Dr’s Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley and their guest Jenny Lisk for advice on increasing your family’s well-being. Jenny is of Her book, Future Widow and host of The Widowed Parent Podcast. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/Jenny-Lisk_-Widowed-Parenting.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Are you looking for a path toward healing a loss? Join Dr’s Gloria and Heidi Horsley and their guest Melissa Lyons. Melissa has helped thousands transform and move forward after loss, tragedy and life derailments. She is the author of I Will Always Love You and Until We Meet Again. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/Melissa-Lyons_-A-Path-Toward-Healing-Pet-and-Other-Losses.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Not sure what to say to a grieving child? Join Dr’s Gloria and Heidi Horsley and grief expert Linda Goldman for advice and information on childhood loss. She is the recipient of the Tenth Global Concern of Human Life Award and the ADEC Clinical Practice Award and the author of Life and Loss: A Guide to Help Grieving Children. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/Linda-Goldman_-Helping-Grieving-Children.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Were you a bereaved teenager or are you worried about a bereaved teenager? Then join Dr’s Gloria and Heidi Horsley and their inspirational guest Dr. Frank Powers. Frank lost his father at age 15 to a sudden heart attack and with the help of friends and the organization of the YMCA made it not only through his loss but has gone on to help thousands of others to find hope after loss. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/Frank-Powers_-Teenage-Bereavement.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Tashel C. Bordere, PhD, CT is an assistant professor of Human Development and Family Science and State Specialist at the University of Missouri-Columbia. She serves on the Board of the National Alliance for Grieving Children, TAPS Advisory Board, and is a past Board member of the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC). Dr. Bordere is a former Forward Promise Fellow (Robert Wood Johnson Foundation) and received the Ronald K. Barrett National Award (ADEC) for her research on bereaved Black youth. Her research, publications, and trainings focus on trauma, Black youth bereavement, suffocated grief, and coping. She has a co-edited […]
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Terry Sears, Sallie Lynch, Kathy Murphy, join The International Day of Hope and Healing after Loss is a free online experience brought to you by the Open to Hope Foundation with the mission of helping people find hope after loss. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Tuesdays_Children_A_Lifetime_of.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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The International Day of Hope and Healing after Loss is a free online experience brought to you by the Open to Hope Foundation with the mission of helping people find hope after loss. Dr. Schuurman has a 35-year history with Dougy Center, the first bereavement center for children in the U.S. She serves on the board of The Compassionate Friends Foundation, and is a Founding Board member of the National Alliance for Children’s Grief. She loves to ski, camp, and ride her Harley-Davidson. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Dr_Donna_Schuurman_Dougy_Center.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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How are the children doing? Parents and friends alike wonder how families will survive after a death. Join Dr’s Gloria and Heidi Horsley and their guests Adam Rabinovitch, bereaved sibling, Executive Director and Clare Sharkey LCSW and Clinical Director of the COPE Foundation for practical advice and ideas on childhood trauma and recovery. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/Adam-Rabinovitch-and-Claire-Sharkey-Supporting-Children-Who-Have-Experienced-Grief-and-Trauma.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Open to Hope is an online community offering inspirational stories of loss, hope and recovery. We believe hope is the bridge between loss and recovery.
