A reader writes: I am married and the mother of three children. I have been told by my doctors that I have a rare and terminal illness. My husband and children love me and need me, and they do not know that I am dying because I cannot tell them. How can I tell the [...]
Found 25 results
Dealing with Special Days: Anniversaries, Birthdays and Holidays
|
December 6, 2011
2 Responses
Question from a reader: I am just 10 days away from the one year mark of my wife’s death, and the last few days have been horrible. I have that all-too-familiar feeling of dread in the pit in my stomach and I have a hard time concentrating on anything. I don’t know how to explain [...]
Transitions: How to Recapture the ‘Drive’
|
October 26, 2011
1 Response
Question from a Reader: How do you bring back the “drive”? The desire to improve one’s self? The desire to learn something new, or to go with your goal? Since my husband died nearly a year ago, I’ve lost this drive and it seems hard to get it back. I still want to achieve some [...]
Did My Cat Go to Heaven?
|
October 1, 2011
Leave a response
Question from a reader: I have been grieving the loss of my cat for some time now, and the pain does not go away. I am still very sad and wondering what kind of help you can give me. I keep thinking—did my Mittens go to heaven or not? I had a very tight bond [...]
Coping with Anxiety in Grief
|
July 23, 2011
Leave a response
Question from a reader: I was wondering if anyone else has experienced panic attacks following the death of a loved one? My mom passed away just over a year ago, and I’ve found that since then I have become prone to getting significant anxiety/panic attacks. I’ve always been a bit of an anxious person, but [...]
Starting a Support Group in a Small Town
|
July 7, 2011
2 Responses
Question from a Reader: Do you have any ideas/resources for starting a parent support group? I live in a very small town. We have recently had several of our young people pass away, including my own son who was killed in an auto accident on Mother’s Day of this year. I have no idea how [...]
Is My Widowed Mother ‘Moving On’ Too Soon?
|
June 29, 2011
Leave a response
Question from a Reader: My dad died 11 months ago at the age of 55. My mom is 50 and looks a bit younger. I know she’s a young woman and has lots of life left in her but she’s got a boyfriend! I cannot understand how she can do this. I told her to [...]
Widow Fears Sharing Thoughts of Suicide
|
May 17, 2011
9 Responses
Question from a Reader: I know I’ve heard plenty of times that it is normal for ‘grievers’ to feel despondent and wish to be with their spouse who has passed on. But, it doesn’t feel like it’s normal to me because I don’t want to live any more, although I am not going to do [...]
Grief Support Group Didn’t Help – Now What?
|
April 16, 2011
2 Responses
Question from a reader: I feel very comfortable on the online forum I’ve joined and have already received great support from the people there. They encourage and inspire me. I’m learning a lot from those who’ve inhabited this world of grief longer than I have. That’s why it would be good to hear your thoughts [...]
Does Widower’s Behavior Indicate Unresolved Grief?
|
March 13, 2011
11 Responses
Question from a reader: I am currently dating a widower who feels the need to publish a picture of his ex-wife in the local newspaper twice a year, on her birthday and date of death. He has been doing this for five years. We have been dating for four-and-a half-years. My husband died suddenly of a [...]
Supporting a Bereaved Parent, From a Distance
|
February 22, 2011
1 Response
Question from a Reader: My husband and I are dealing with his mother’s grief over losing his father (her husband) this past January. His father passed away in a wonderful hospice in New Mexico. I have visited the online grief support Web site offered by Hospice of the Valley, and although it helps calm my [...]
A New Year and the Burden of Guilt
|
January 1, 2011
1 Response
Even if there is no basis in reality for it, we often feel guilty for what we did or didn’t do, said or failed to say, when our loved one was alive. In fact, this feeling of guilt in the aftermath of significant loss is so common as to be universal. Now, the beginning of [...]
Coping with ‘Shutdown Spells’ in Grief
|
December 7, 2010
2 Responses
Question from a Reader: Since my husband died, I’ve grown used to having mood swings and waking up feeling pretty good one day and deeply depressed the next. I know these are normal grief reactions, and when one of the “rotten” days comes along it helps to tell myself it will pass. But then, even [...]
Daughter Feels Little Support for Mother Loss
|
October 22, 2010
8 Responses
Question from a reader: I tearfully happened upon your website by chance this morning. My dearest friend, my mom, died in my arms this past month. I had brought her here to live with me after her colon cancer returned. From the moment of diagnosis, I watched her hurt and endure so much treatment, never [...]
Explaining Grandmother’s Death to a Toddler
|
September 15, 2010
3 Responses
Question from a Reader: Basically, everything I’ve ever read recommends that a toddler not be shielded from the truth, and I believe that. However, there is a set of special circumstances here. My daughter saw her grandmother every day since she was born, as my mother cared for her while I was at work. The [...]
Using Antidepressant Medication in Grief
|
August 9, 2010
2 Responses
Question from a Reader: About four weeks ago, I came off an antidepressant which allowed the unresolved grief issues over my brother’s death to surface. I believe that the antidepressant kept me from fully grieving his loss, which I am in the process of doing now. A colleague, therapist, and good friend who has known [...]
When the Griever is a Health-Care Professional
|
July 14, 2010
Leave a response
Question from a Reader: I don’t know where or how to start. I lost a beloved dog a month ago. My other dog is critically ill. I lost a very good friend earlier this year. I am also feeling enormous grief and guilt over the loss of another dog who was killed by a car. [...]
Bereaved Aunt Asks, ‘Where Do I Fit In?’
|
June 22, 2010
Leave a response
Question from a reader: Two months ago, my 21-year-old nephew, my sister’s only child, was killed in a car accident. I was 19 when he was born. I have feelings of love for him almost as if he were my own son. I can’t find others like me. I have searched a few online forums [...]
The Power of Remembering: Grandfather’s Pipe
|
May 18, 2010
1 Response
A person who is gone can live on in memory as an active agent in one’s life, not just as someone you love and miss, not just as a nostalgic sadness. — Elizabeth Harper Neeld, in Seven Choices: Finding Daylight after Loss Shatters Your World The following piece was written by my younger son, Benjamin [...]
Persistent Dreams in Grief
|
March 10, 2010
Leave a response
Question from a reader: It’s now been six months since my mother died. In many ways it seems like worlds and eons since then, but in some ways not at all. I really miss her and talking to her every few days, as was our old routine. The problem I’m having is that I dream [...]
Daughter Wants to Help Mom after Death of Beloved Dog
|
February 11, 2010
2 Responses
Question from a reader: I am writing in hopes that you may be able to provide advice or support that I can give my parents who just had to euthanize their 12-year-old Golden Lab, Baxter. He had to be put to sleep because he could not walk anymore. It was a very sad event for the [...]
Is Divorce Worthy of Grief?
|
January 9, 2010
2 Responses
Question from a reader: I recently tried to join a grief group. When the leader found out that my wife had not died, she told me that the others in the group would not feel that my grief was as deep as theirs. She suggested that I look for a divorce-recovery group. I wish I [...]
Healing Grief through the Gift of Volunteering
|
December 5, 2009
1 Response
You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late . . . the love of our neighbor in all its fullness simply means being able to say to him, ‘What are you going through?’ ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson At some point in your grief journey, you [...]
When Grieving an Abandonment
|
November 7, 2009
Leave a response
Question from a reader: I was informed that my mother died, and I am grieving. My mother left me when I was a little girl. It hurt. I denied it for 40 years. So far, I have attended two different bereavement groups. Both are filled with people who are grieving a loved one. I am [...]
Can We Ever ‘Accept’ Death of Loved One?
|
October 8, 2009
2 Responses
Question from a reader: This just isn’t something I can live with. I want to see my dad more than anything in the world. I can’t even go near the words “closure” or “accept.” My friend, who never lost anyone, even a pet, in her life, told me in a matter-of-fact, cheery voice, “You gotta [...]
