Of all the songs I have ever been invited to compose, to assist with healing around a loss, the story of little 4-year-old Alex is the one that most deeply touched my heart. One day I got a call from Aimee, who had spent almost all of her family’s income on medical bills for her very ill little son Alex. When she called, asking me to compose a song for his memorial service (he had been given about a month to live), I somehow could feel in my bones that a month was more than we really had.

No time, no money, but something in me just said, “Do this now–right now. Just do it.” So I did. Aimee had a deep feeling and a hope that perhaps if Alex could hear a song written just for him, it might somehow assist the two of them. I talked extensively with her and learned that each time he spoke to her, trying to reassure her about how he would be okay after he died, she would try to stop him from talking about it. “People talk like that when they are close to death, and I don’t want him to be close to death. I love him so much, I just don’t want him to talk about this.”

Aimee told me of her plans for the memorial service – releasing doves up into the air. And suddenly, something just came together inside of me. I sat down and wrote this song, called “Fly (Alex’s Song)” in Aimee’s voice–the voice she would have access to if she were at peace herself with this process, and ready to encourage Alex forward once he was ready. And at the end, I wrote the last bit in Alex’s voice – the voice that had been trying to get through, trying, it seemed, even at that very young age, to prepare himself and his mom for this big shift.

I moved faster than I ever had in writing a song. I emailed her a rough non-studio home recording as soon as I could, just a few days later. She was absolutely, positively blown away–astonished, wanting to change not a word. She played the song for Alex and, sick as he was, he was able to take it in, and they were able to share listening to it together, again and again.

I asked Aimee if I had her approval to take it to the studio, to create a more finished version, and even though I had no budget, I found performers–performers who I usually have a budget to pay rather handsomely–who were willing, this time around, at my request, to donate their time and talents.

It took two weeks to get all the studio work done. Aimee had already heard the home recording of the song, but somehow, for her, the receiving of the real-live CD– having it in her hands–had become a powerful symbol for her of being deeply ready to let go. So, I ran from the studio and had it overnighted to her home the moment it was complete. It arrived on Thursday afternoon. She opened the front door, received and opened the package, and carried it into Alex’s room. She held the CD in one hand and she held Alex’s hand in the other. “It’s okay,” she said. “Your song is all done. You can go whenever you need to.” And in that very moment, Alex let go of this life, his hand still in hers.

I wrote about it on my website, and people all around the planet sent checks to help cover the studio costs. I am still baffled by this, because I never once mentioned the amount that was needed in my post, and yet, when I tallied up the donations, they were within five dollars of exactly what was needed to cover the studio cost! How is that possible? Who can say for sure, but I felt, and still feel, that something magical and healing was afoot from the moment I heard Aimee’s plea and somehow found inside of myself one simple response: YES.

Write-up and song on CustomCraftedSongs.com http://www.customcraftedsongs.com/listen/fly-alexs-song

Some people live many years upon this earth

And others like you my boy stay shorter

But after your time is through, there is more in store for you

For love is the key that will hold us together, after you

 

Fly up to the sky where you can soar above this town

Fly up to the sky where you can always look down

On the house where you lived and the people who love you here

Where we’ll stand on the ground and we’ll whisper our love to the air up there

Where you’ll fly, where you’ll play

Where we’ll remember every day

 

Some people are strong inside, but I’ve known none as strong as you

You’ve taught me that strong inside is something I could become too

And all of those long, long nights, where you let me lay by you

Have filled me with love inside, of a kind I never knew

Till I loved you, so take that love and

 

Fly up to the sky where you can soar above this town

Fly up to the sky where you can always look down

On the house where you lived and the people who love you here

Where we’ll stand on the ground and we’ll whisper our love to the air up there

Where you’ll fly, where you’ll play

Where we’ll remember your sweetness and your strength

 

You’ve reached out your hand to me and let me look deep in your eyes

You loved each one of us three enough to last a whole lifetime

And if it’s time to set you free, then may you go in peace

But know always that we love you, to infinity, so now

 

Fly up to the sky where you can soar above this town

Fly up to the sky where you can always look down

On the house where you lived and the people who love you here

Where we’ll stand on the ground and we’ll whisper our love to the air up there

Where you’ll fly, where you’ll play

Where we’ll remember the words you used to say:

I will be all right.

I will be okay

I am all right

I am okay

No more pain

Today

 

(c) 2007 Anna Huckabee Tull / CustomCraftedSongs.com