Teen Loses Brother to Suicide, Learns to Cope

At the age of 16, Carl David suffered the loss of his 22-year-old brother by suicide. 

In his words, “The effects on myself and my family were devastating, beyond description. We had but two choices; to pull together or tear each other apart. We chose the former and used every bit of strength to rebuild our lives. The challenges were monumental as every day was day one. We had to start over with each sunrise because the after-effects were so persistent and the pain so ever-present that at times it seemed insurmountable. We wondered if we would ever be able to move forward and regain some semblance of life.” 

He recalled, “It impacted our family in a myriad of ways but we ultimately found our way back to daylight with the help of our family, friends and professional help. It’s human instinct to survive. We don’t forget or get over it; we just learn to live with it as best we can. This kind of lacerating experience becomes part of our soul, embedding itself into our very psyche. Our unconscious keeps a permanent record of every moment of our life and reminds us of them vigorously when we try to erase or repress them. 

“We eventually realized that life does go on, with us or without us, and that we had to forge on and live for ourselves and for my brother. He’d have wanted that and we knew that whatever the cause that pushed him to that final edge of desperation, if he’d known the pain that his loss would cause he never would have ended his life.” 

Carl continued, “Everyone knows someone who committed suicide; far less than six degrees of separation.” 

In Carl’s latest book, Bader Field: How My Family Survived Suicide, he shares his emotional journey describing how he and his family survived the loss of his brother. 

Carl’s message, “Kids need to know that no matter how desperate they feel, they are loved, there is help for them and suicide is not the answer. It’s a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Life is a gift and every day we wake up is a blessing. No matter the difficulty, we get a redo. We have the luxury of choice in how we will spend our time.” 

He described his heightened parental awareness today, “As a father, my perspective had became ever more profound. While our children were growing up, the haunts of the past were always there and our caution flags were always on guard. We never spoke of my brother’s death until they were of sufficient age to understand and not freak out, as this is a very sensitive issue. We needed to let them know, almost as insurance, so that by understanding the degree of destruction such an act leaves on a family, that they would never even consider it.” 

Carl’s closing words, “I am on a mission to save lives, even one!” 

Learn more about Carl at: Http://www.authorsspeaking.ning.com/profile/carldavid

Kathy Williams 2012

 

Kathryn Williams

More Articles Written by Kathryn

I have always had creative threads of inspirations in my life. I can fall into an oil pastel drawing like the average person falls into a good book. It is a grounding process, allowing me to lose myself in my work, lose track of time and escape the pressures of everyday life. Unfortunately, I have not spent much of my life devoting time to my heart's desire; writing and exploring my creative impulses. I'm a single mom first and I've been a full-time employee in the business world for over the past 20 years. I’ve earned a Bachelor’s Degree in Business Management and an Associate’s Degree in Applied Science. I live in the cornfields of Ypsilanti with my 2 sons, who are thirteen and fourteen, and my boyfriend, a wonderful man whom inspires and supports my dreams. During 2008, I had some life-altering experiences which have given me a new perspective and enabled me to reprioritize my responsibilities. I lost my father and my job, both of which I devoted much love and energy to and truly treasured. In the aftermath of my father's death, I reached deep within my core and wrote my book, What Can I Say When Words Escape Me, being present during times of sorrow, http://www.lifetimeartimpression.com/boorwhcanisa.html. I can only hope these words of encouragement and nature photos touch your heart and up lift and hug your soul as they have for me. I currently write for the Examiner.com, Detroit market as a Healthy Living Reporter, http://www.examiner.com/x-27409-Detroit-Healthy-Living-Examiner. I'm grateful for my life's journey thus far and thankful for a nurturing, fulfilling future that enables me to reach out and help others struggling with hardship. To Listen to Kathryn On Open to Hope Radio

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