Mother’s Day usually stirs up memories of celebrating my Mom with my brothers and sisters when we were kids- showering her with all the snuggles, handmade cards and French toast from the Betty Crocker Boys and Girls Cookbook. Nothing said I Love You like delivering fresh flowers to her (right out of her garden).🌷
This year, though, I’ve been thinking a lot about my dear new friend, Marlene, who will be navigating her first Mother’s Day since the shocking death of her beloved son, BJ.
Marlene shared the heart shattering news on social media last year, “No words can express how utterly devastated we are feeling right now. Our baby boy is gone after only 32 years. If you knew him, you loved him. His smile, his eyes, his handsome face. He was so smart, and talented, and gifted…”
When I reached out to check on Marlene last week, her response was inspiring. “I don’t want to sound cliche’ but, I’ve given myself to God. I have allowed Him to carry me. I miss BJ with my whole heart, but can honestly say I’m surviving… and thriving. That does not mean I love him less, or that I’m forgetting him. I want to share with other Moms how I’m surviving this journey.”
I had to know more.
Before sharing this precious Mom’s thoughts, I want to acknowledge that not everyone will understand Marlene’s deep and unshakable faith; but my prayer is that her words will speak hope to anyone who’s feeling crushed, forgotten or alone this Mother’s Day.
A few ways Marlene is surviving and thriving, in her own words:
- I let people do things for me.
- I sought counseling; and stayed busy on purpose. (Marlene has returned her job as a nurse caring for US Veterans)
- I do not receive negative words that people try to speak to me. Things like, “you will never get over it,” or “you’ll hurt like this for the rest of your life,” because I know that all things are possible for those who love and serve the Lord.
- I talk about BJ all the time, and encourage others to do the same. On my birthday I asked FaceBook friends to please flood my post with memories and pictures of BJ. That would mean the world to me.
- I prayed that God would not allow my son’s death to be in vain. He has heard my prayers.
“None of us Moms can get through the loss of a child alone. We don’t even need to try. We don’t have to. The Lord will carry us through if we will let HIm. He is doing it for me, and He will do it for you, too.” – Marlene
If you’re feeling hopeless and overwhelmed this Mother’s day, tell somebody.
If you’ve never asked God to help you, you don’t have to use eloquent words. Just whisper something like, “Lord I need you. I can’t do this by myself anymore.” He hears every word we pray, and He really is close to the brokenhearted. He will rescue us when our spirits are crushed.
Thank you, Marlene, for honoring your beloved BJ, and for touching others with your story.
Grace and peace, friends.
Beth Marshall, Author of Uncrushed and Grief Survivor
- If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts please share this with them. The National Suicide Prevention Hotline- (dial 988)
