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A Marriage Survives the Loss of a Child

Posted on June 4, 2014 - by Debra Reagan

We have been traveling this grief journey after the death of our son, Clint, for seven years. We didn’t know what to expect along the way for ourselves or for the marriage. In the beginning, we stayed together because we had no energy to do otherwise. Then the suggestion was offered, to stay together because no one else could share the same memories of our son. This progressed to let’s stay together for our surviving son. We desperately wanted to be whole again for him. Time continued and we found ourselves communicating more and rebuilding our lives. Time traveled forward […]

Messages of Love

Posted on June 3, 2014 - by Claire Perkins

Over the years since my son’s death by overdose in 2004, I have received many messages and signs from him. Some have come in dreams, some through songs on the radio. Perhaps the most powerful of all have been the heart-shaped stones and shells washed up by the sea to remind me that love never dies. September 2004, South Padre Island – Calling Out Four months after my son died, I visited South Padre Island and walked on the beach, feeling broken, drained and missing Cameron. I shouted and cried my grief into the sky and the sea. I felt […]

Unravelling of Life … My Sweater

Posted on June 3, 2014 - by Susan Reynolds

The sweater clothed me It sheltered me daily It covered my wounds It kept me safe It was comfortable The occasional yarns that dangled or sprout forth Were quickly yanked away or shorn down No need for them. What I had clothed me One day Father Jim hugged me A priest on a airplane ride I was always afraid of priests His Mr. Rogers sweater was pilled and heavily laden with miscolored shreds from travels bumping up against rough surfaces, forests of stray colors and threads lay pocketed My gleaming bracelet within the hug caught his […]

Don’t Judge My Grief

Posted on June 2, 2014 - by John Pete

A person’s grief is not too short, and it’s not too long. It’s not too weak, and it’s not too strong. It just is what it is, but it’s never wrong. Please don’t try to tell others how to grieve. If you can’t be supportive and non-judgmental, then just say so and step aside to make room for someone who can. ~ John Pete

Make Time Matter: A Lesson from My Dad

Posted on June 2, 2014 - by Julie Nierenberg

My father died from complications of bowel cancer, and I held his hand as he took his final breath. Being there, as hard as it was to experience, was a gift to me, and he told me that it was also a gift to him. He endured some very real physical pain and also the spiritual anguish of ending a life he loved living. Two years have now passed since we said good-bye. In the days leading up to his passing, my dad prepared us with lovingly chosen words and promises of eternal love. When the moment of death came, […]

How to Feel Better in Less Than an Hour

Posted on May 31, 2014 - by Shannon Harris

I often read internet postings from fellow bereaved parents expressing the terrible pain they are feeling after the loss of a child. I hear it in support groups and have lived through it myself. My son, Anthony, died when he was five years old to leukemia four years ago. As I hear and read these stories of depression, pain and sadness, I find that if I am not careful I, too, can take on those same feelings. Perhaps the same type of thing has happened to you. Depending on the energy in the room of a support group, you may […]

In Praise of Friendship: Maya Angelou and Mrs. Flowers

Posted on May 30, 2014 - by Linda Hunt

Sometimes gifted writers, like Maya Angelou, feel like a friend because they invite you into their heart and mind with such a generosity of spirit. It’s no wonder that millions around the world are grieving her death. Though we didn’t ‘know’ her, we came into her world through the 31 books, essays, plays and poetry that she so eloquently wrote. I loved introducing her writings with college students. In the cacophony of voices of praise for Angelou’s evocative writings and dramatic readings, I can imagine she might shout out, “WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! Please remember that a few very important people came […]

Maya Angelou’s Death: Navigating the Loss of a Favorite Writer

Posted on May 29, 2014 - by Marguerite OConnor

I have been positively imprinted by so many wonderful writers that I am also impacted when they die. When Frank McCourt died, my friends & I, all authors, each read excerpts from his books at a cherished, independently owned, local bookstore. I read from Angela’s Ashes. This was our way of paying tribute to Frank, acknowledging his contributions and marking a significant loss. Though I did not know him personally, his writing is part of his legacy and it was a gift to me. It makes sense that I felt like acknowledging the gift and his unique life in some […]

When a Mentor Dies

Posted on May 29, 2014 - by Shannon Harris

A special kind of pain is felt when your mentor’s time on earth is through. Whether the person is famous (like writer Maya Angelou) or a family member, the loss can throw you into a tailspin of sadness. Often times, when we are grieving a great teacher or guide, we are not only grieving the memories or moments that we’ve had with them but also what lessons they haven’t yet taught. It’s as if our personal GPS has lost its signal and we are suddenly lost. We keep showing up to class and there is no teacher. There is no […]

Death as Part of Who We Are

Posted on May 29, 2014 - by Kevin Quiles

We hear a lot about befriending unwanted parts of ourselves. So I wondered if this same language could be applied to our own awaiting destiny. After all like any part that makes up a whole, death is born with us and dies with us. It is an intricate part of who we are and has its own set of expressions. CDT (Conversing with Death Education & Therapy) states that within every person is an untouched unconscious that contains a death quality, a part if you will. This quality contains the voice of mystery and wisdom regarding death-and-dying. (The variation between […]