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The Fear of Forgetting

Posted on July 12, 2013 - by Maria Kubitz

Since my daughter died just after turning four years old, one of my biggest fears has been that she will be forgotten. But lately, I’ve been asking myself: What does that really mean? What am I really scared of? The idea that she will be forgotten is actually two separate fears. The first is that due to the notion of “out of sight, out of mind,” friends and even family will stop thinking of her and, in essence, “forget her”. In reality, this is the natural course of life. I have beloved relatives and dear friends who have passed, and […]

Are You Experiencing Grief, Trauma or Both?

Posted on July 12, 2013 - by Harriet Hodgson

In 2007, on a snowy February night, my elder daughter died from the injuries she received in a car crash. Surgeons operated on her for 20 hours, but her injuries were too severe and they were unable to save her life. Blut force trauma was the actual cause of death — three words a parent never wants to hear or say. The death of a child is bad enough; the death of a child from blunt force trauma is horrific. I wondered about my daughter’s last minutes of life and worried about my granddaughter, a passenger in the car. Why […]

Poem: The Thief

Posted on July 8, 2013 - by Tarah Hipple

The night was cold, the fire burning old And the shepherd couldn’t take his eyes off his flock His stare was dry, life the air of the night And his head he was able to move, could not. He was aware of the dangers Of the night’s freezing strangers So he had extra help, his fire Little did he know, he was starting to doze But he had to stay awake, for he was required. He was freezing and shaking But a howl was an awakening Of someone in the night he should have caught The thief had gathered all […]

Promoting Grief Recovery with Pep Talks

Posted on July 5, 2013 - by Harriet Hodgson

Though grief is a universal experience, each person’s grief is unique. You have to find your own way through grief. This path will lead you to grief work and things that you tell yourself. Four of my family members died in 2007. “You will get through this,” a relative assured me. Her confidence in me boosted my confidence in me. Still, I had to give myself one-sentence pep talks. For example, I told myself I had experienced grief before and this experience could work for me. I also knew I had good coping skills. Some days, however, when life was […]

Poem: Whisper Goodnight

Posted on July 3, 2013 - by Tarah Hipple

Whisper Goodnight Now I’m strapped to the bark of Innocent trees While evil angels commit to do their Evil deeds They mock the obscenities of Torturing screams— And they sing me to silence with their Sweet lullabies As fire is already burning At my side And all I can do is Whisper goodnight As they angels burn down the trees.

Poem: Eleven Years

Posted on July 2, 2013 - by Tarah Hipple

Eleven Years My love for you is unconditional However, so is my anger And I have waited eleven years For this devastation to be over But it has only just begun: The torture that makes me want to scream— And I just want to run away From this awfully dreadful scheme. Oh, how badly I wish you could redeem yourself And I’m sorry, but you took that chance away And whatever path you decided to take, You left me here astray. If only I can forgive you But forgiving you will make this true So I’ll pray for you to […]

My Daughter’s Spirit is Part of Me

Posted on June 30, 2013 - by Harriet Hodgson

Coming to terms with the death of a child is an ongoing process. I discovered this after my daughter died from the injuries she received in a car crash. Today, six years later, thanks to grief work and introspection, my daughter’s spirit is part of me. Many others have come to the same awareness. Cheryl Strayed writes about recovering from the death of her mother in Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail. When I ordered the book online I didn’t know much about it and thought it was a book about hiking. It is about hiking, […]

Navigating the Ebb and Flow of Grief

Posted on June 28, 2013 - by Maria Kubitz

At almost four years after the death of my daughter, I had thought it would be easier than this. In those early days and months when my grief made it feel like I simply couldn’t survive this loss, I saw others in support groups who had lost their loved ones many years before, and they seemed ok. They looked almost “normal” again. They told me it wouldn’t always be like this. They said you learn to live with the pain, and it would lessen over time. They said you will eventually find joy and happiness again. They said you create […]

Introduction: Innocence

Posted on June 28, 2013 - by Tarah Hipple

Maybe it’s peculiar that I don’t feel ashamed. My beauties are noticeable, but I’m proud of them. Some have called me crazy and maybe always will, but I won’t hide from that label. If I’m crazy then is that pretty little girl, as innocent as it’s possible to be, crazy because she had “normal” ripped away? Any chance of living what some would call a normal life was shot away. Innocence was stolen from me and guilt shoved itself down my throat when my heart skipped a beat and I gasped for air. But maybe the air wasn’t poisonous after […]

Getting Through Special Occasions

Posted on June 23, 2013 - by Donna Miesbach

I will never forget how difficult it was to get through all the special occasions after my husband died. There were just so many “firsts,” whether it was Thanksgiving, Christmas, new babies being born, and Memorial Day. Whatever the occasion was, it was hard. What I learned from that was you just have to do what you need to do to get yourself through it. For example, it had been our Memorial Day tradition to drive 50 miles to the cemetery where my husband’s family graves were. We did that every single year, rain or shine, but on that first Memorial […]