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Celebrating Memorial Day – My Way

Posted on May 21, 2013 - by Sandra Pesmen

Around Memorial Day, many people go to the cemetery to spruce up their loved ones’ graves. They want visitors to see that they are nicely cared for. I don’t have to do that because I know I can trust the cemetery in Arlington Heights, IL, where our loved ones rest, to do it for me.But that doesn’t mean I have nothing else to do. I now have established my own Memorial Day ritual. I make a trip around our home, inside and out, following a path my husband used to take each spring. This year I saw a lightbulb outside […]

Anxiety and Fear in Grief: When Your Mind is Not Your Friend

Posted on May 20, 2013 - by Susan Troccolo

In the past year, I’ve lost two women in my family from cancer. I’ve felt the searing loss and pain that these deaths have brought, in part because I am in remission from cancer myself. Twice. Seventeen years apart. Because of that, I know a lot about how my mind works with anxiety and fear. I’ve learned to recognize different voices inside my mind; some voices that contribute to freedom and happiness and some that bind me up in a prison of my own making. Last year, just before my beloved cousin/sister/daughter/friend Jenny died, I recognized that I would need […]

Wanting to Date Again

Posted on May 18, 2013 - by Abel Keogh

Dear Abel, I lost my wife three months ago after a tragic accident. This may sound crazy to most people but I feel like dating again. Is it normal for men to feel this way so soon after the death of a spouse? What pointers would you give someone in my situation who decided to start dating again? Thanks, T. Dear T: You’ve asked some great questions. First, there’s nothing wrong with feeling the need to date so soon after the death of your wife. Though how soon widowers have this feeling varies from person to person, wanting to date […]

How to Keep a Parent’s Memory Alive

Posted on May 17, 2013 - by Mary Elizabeth Robinson

Losing a parent is never easy, no matter the circumstance or what segment of time in your life the loss occurred. The grief softens, but never leaves us. When holidays roll around, it is always a painful reminder of the hole in our hearts. The days without our mother or father are emphasized during their birthdays, and holidays like Christmas, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. After years of spending those times with heartache, I decided to manifest comfort and joy into those times by honoring my parents, instead of grieving them. We must first remember the connection to our loved […]

Going with the Flow

Posted on May 16, 2013 - by Donna Miesbach

We’re all familiar with the different stages or phases in life – childhood to youth, youth to adulthood, and so on. Those stages could never happen if there wasn’t change ~ every day. Like a flower unfolding, each stage has its beauty and also its challenges. Those constant little changes become part of the rhythm of our daily life and we really don’t think too much about them. It’s the “big” changes that tend to rock our boat. That happened to me when I lost my husband and both parents in a short period of time. Everything changed, seemingly overnight, […]

Grief Has No Borders

Posted on May 14, 2013 - by Sandy Fox

When I was in Brussels, Belgium, recently, I found a reference to Compassionate Friends (the organization for parents who have lost a child to death) and a couple’s phone number in a magazine called The Bulletin. I called the number referenced and spoke to a lovely British lady who has lived in Brussels with her husband for the past 40 years. She informed me that Brussels at one time did have a Compassionate Friends chapter but no longer. She does still refer those who need help to a chapter as close as possible and answers any questions they may have. […]

It’s The Simple Things That Matter The Most In Our Grief Journeys

Posted on May 13, 2013 - by David Roberts

Cemetery Discomfort I have always been uncomfortable in cemeteries ever since I can remember. My discomfort surrounding cemetery visits magnified one hundred fold after my daughter Jeannine’s death in March of 2003. Watching my daughter’s coffin being lowered into the ground during her gravesite service was symbolic of the end of her life, as I knew it, and the end of mine as I knew it. I have gone to the cemetery on a handful of occasions with my wife Cheri, only long enough to ensure that the flowers she planted were intact and that Jeannine’s sacred place filled with […]

A Mother’s Love Lives On

Posted on May 11, 2013 - by Harriet Hodgson

My daughter died in 2007 from the injuries she received in a car crash. At the time of her death, she was soaring in life. She was a composite engineer, had an MBA, six industry certifications, a job she enjoyed, excellent performance reviews, and was assured of advancement in the company. Life was brighter than it had ever been and then she died. Her death was bad enough. Two days later, my father-in-law died. Then my brother (and only sibling) died. Nine months after my daughter died, my former son-in-law, father of my twin grandchildren, died from the injuries he […]

Remarriage Surprise: A Mother-in-Law

Posted on May 11, 2013 - by Diane Dettmann

On February 19, 2006, when Allan proposed to me at Hoff Jewelers at a mall in Maplewood, Minnesota, for some odd reason it never dawned on me that I’d be inheriting a mother-in-law too. I was 59 and Allan 60—youngsters at heart. Our spouses had died, so it was a second marriage for both of us. Still, he wanted to give me a diamond ring. Aglow as the gem sparkled on my finger, I pictured Allan and me hand-in-hand for the rest of our lives. In April, five months before our September wedding, I was looking forward to retiring from […]

Entangled or Unresolved Grief

Posted on May 10, 2013 - by Sharon Greenlee

Just this morning I read a wise and timely quote from Eckhart Tolle: “As long as you make an identity for yourself out of pain, you cannot be free of it.” I’m always a bit amazed when words seem to just appear and find the perfect fit into something that’s going on in my own mind at the time. This is when I reaffirm my belief that there really are no accidents. This is the day I had set aside to sit down and write about what I have learned about Grief Entanglements. Wouldn’t you know: Sense of Identity is […]