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‘I Don’t Wear Hats’

Posted on March 6, 2012 - by Deb Kosmer

“I don’t wear hats.” “I don’t dance.” “I don’t talk to strangers.” The first statement about was said by a woman at a conference for counselors, a woman who refused to choose and wear a hat for an exercise being done. The second statement is one many of us have heard and some of us have possibly said. The last statement I find incredibly sad. I am not sure who said it but there is a saying that goes, “Strangers are just friends we haven’t met yet.” There is another saying that goes, “I need all the friends I can […]

10 Ways To Save Your Marriage After a Child’s Death

Posted on March 5, 2012 - by Sandy Fox

When a child dies, most parents assume their marriage will be in jeopardy because they have read that 90% of marriages fail after the death of a child. A recent survey has proven this supposed fact to be a myth. From the survey, it was found that only 16 % divorce and only 4 % said it was because of the death and the fact that there were problems in the marriage before the child died. The untimely death of a child can be an opportunity for growth to bring the two people closer together, rather than tear them apart. […]

Helping Others Helps You

Posted on March 4, 2012 - by Rachel Kodanaz

Why is it that when we become widowed, we think we are the first person who has ever been widowed? We have a tendency to cocoon and not look around us to realize there are many others who have walked this horrendous walk before us. Our pain is so overwhelming we cannot imagine anyone could have survived. The truth is there are thousands and thousands of us who have been widowed prematurely due to illness or a tragic event, leaving behind small children or unfulfilled retirement dreams. We are often told the grief journey is an individual journey and you […]

‘This Too Shall Pass’

Posted on March 2, 2012 - by Catherine Tidd

Just like everyone else in the world, I have good weeks and I have bad ones. This one…not so great: Sick kid, two trips to the ER, fear of going to my mailbox to find the medical bills that I know will be lurking in there at some point soon. To say the least, I have had a somewhat problem-filled week. There is only one thing that is getting me through it. And that is thinking over and over again, “This too shall pass.” I don’t know who said it first. I just looked it up on Wikipedia and it […]

The Wisdom in Journaling

Posted on March 1, 2012 - by David Roberts

I have always been a firm believer in the benefits of journaling. I journaled almost daily when my daughter Jeannine was first diagnosed in May of 2002 with a rare and incurable form of cancer. This continued for almost two years after her death on 3/1/03, at the age of 18. My early journals were raw, filled with pain, anger and disbelief over the hand of cards that was dealt to me and Jeannine’s mother and two brothers. I review those early journals periodically, and sometimes compare where I was then to where I am now. I have discovered today […]

Playing With Ashes

Posted on February 29, 2012 - by Adele R. McDowell

It’s been a tender week. This week marks the first anniversary of the death of my dear friend, E, who left the earth plane suddenly and unexpectedly, just two weeks after her 61st birthday. I made it to the North Carolina hospital on Easter Sunday and had the profound honor of witnessing her transition on Monday. E was semi-conscious; she had been intubated and medicated. I felt she was already circling the other realms. When I reached the side of her bed and placed my hand on her arm, she opened her eyes and looked directly at me, acknowledging my […]

Vehicles of Healing

Posted on February 28, 2012 - by Deb Kosmer

Vehicles help us move. They help get us from one place to another. Sometimes the vehicle of choice is our car. Other times it may be a rental car, a bus, a cab, a boat, a bicycle, a hot air balloon, a plane, or even a skateboard. There are many different vehicles to help move us through our grief. The possibilities are endless. Most if not all of us will need to utilize more than one vehicle on our grief journey. The vehicle is just a tool and we have to use the tools that will work for us. Some […]

30 Ways to be Your Own Best Friend

Posted on February 26, 2012 - by Maureen Hunter

For many years, I was anything but my own best friend. I neglected, badgered, criticized and overindulged myself. It was much easier to be nicer and kinder to my friends than it was to myself. Maturity and the experience of devastating loss, has taught me much. I now know that in grief or in fact, anytime in life, I am the only one who can look after me. Me, myself and I. Many times, I didn’t think I had time for me. I thought my needs weren’t as important as others in my life. I was too busy giving out […]

Getting the Routines Back in Your Life

Posted on February 25, 2012 - by Gloria Horsley

February, with Valentine’s Day, is a great time to take a survey of where I stand on my love meter. Am I on the high or low side this year? In order to do that I have to take myself back to what I call Ground Zero. For me,Ground Zero was in April 1983 when my 17 year-old son Scott was killed in an automobile accident. That boy was the love of my life. At the time of his death I wondered if I would ever be happy again. As with my love meter your love meter may have been […]

Birthdays and Becoming a ‘Grand Family’

Posted on February 25, 2012 - by Harriet Hodgson

Yesterday was my grandchildren’s birthday. The twins (one boy, one girl) turned 20, a surprise to me and to them. When my grandchildren moved in with us, they were 15 ½ years old. Now they are college sophomores, young adults pursuing their education and their dreams. Where did the time go? What did I learn in the last five years? I learned that two kids and two grandparents can come together to form a grand family. It’s a miracle. Before their parents died, the twins used to come to dinner with their mother every Sunday. Though they didn’t know us […]