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Have You Suffered an Ambiguous Loss?

Posted on April 8, 2012 - by Harriet Hodgson

I had never heard of ambiguous loss until my daughter, a licensed family therapist, told me about it. The term was coined by Pauline Boss, PhD, of the University of Minnesota. It came from her research and the clinical studies she has been conducting since 1974. What is ambiguous loss? Basically, it is loss without closure. There is no body or death certificate. You may be experiencing this loss now if a parent has Alzheimer’s, a sibling has chronic mental illness, a runaway child has never been fund, or a military spouse is missing in Afghanistan. According to Pauline Boss, […]

Grief and the Right Side of the Brain

Posted on April 7, 2012 - by Kevin Quiles

We often approach grief from a logical perspective. We listen, analyze, validate obvious emotions, and try to arrive at helpful conclusions. However, grief is much more complicated than simply identifying a loss, categorizing the pain, and discovering fresh themes on moving forward. Pain and suffering contain multifaceted undercurrents that transcend conscious awareness. Research (e.g., Allan Schore, Daniel Siegel) suggests that we live daily from two sides of our brain, each equipped with its own method of storing and utilizing information. Taken into discussions on grief, the concept implies that we grieve from two sides of the brain as well, the […]

‘Whispers From Beyond:’ Faith-Filled Heart Comforts after Loss

Posted on April 6, 2012 - by Mary Elizabeth Robinson

There is nothing more important or powerful in our lives than our faith. I have had a wonderful experience about a presence more powerful than ourselves. I have seen the movies, books and specials through out the media world about life after death, God, the Divine Source and Heaven. It is an amazing and mysterious subject matter, which captures the attention of millions no matter what faith they practice. My life has been embraced by heaven. I have been able to realize the connections with our loved ones who have passed away are never broken. After the loss of my […]

An Open Letter to Whitney Houston’s Family

Posted on April 5, 2012 - by Art & Allison Daily

Growing up I listened to Whitney Houston’s music, pretending I was her as I belted out “I Will Always Love You.” I think I saw the movie ‘The Bodyguard’ a total of ten times, watching it again just after she died. As someone who counsels others when a loved one dies, I thought of her family and her daughter often in the days and weeks following her death. I wondered how they were coping, having their grief and Whitney’s death become such a spectacle. I began to think of what I would say to them, if I could..and I wrote […]

Stumbling Blocks or Stepping Stones

Posted on April 4, 2012 - by Deb Kosmer

When someone we love deeply dies, many of us feel as though we have lost our way and very unsure of where the path is, let alone what path we are on. Many of us planned on stopping and getting off anywhere but here. When we are headed towards heartbreak, any direction can seem better than the one we are on. Somehow though here we are and there is no turn around or turning back. We are on a one-way road that we never chose. The date our journeys started, the length of time it took, may have been moments, […]

As Career Shifts, Counselor Remembers What Really Matters

Posted on April 3, 2012 - by David Roberts

I have been an addictions counselor for 27 years, and have worked in the same place for that entire time. I will be retiring from my full-time job on July 12th of this year. I haven’t officially filed the paperwork yet, but that will be a formality. I am prepared to close this chapter of my life and not look back. I will miss many of the staff that I have met over the years, and the day-to-day contacts with the patients. I am retiring mainly because I don’t share the work system’s values and priorities anymore, and I can’t […]

Signs and Connections: Happiness Returns

Posted on April 2, 2012 - by Debra Reagan

My younger sister and I have resided in the same area most of our lives. We have maintained a close connection despite the fact that we’re frequently in different phases in our lives. We normally speak often and participate in each other’s life activities. Then the day came when my sister had the opportunity to move to the Grand Canyon. While living on the rim can be very exciting, it can also pose some problems. Sometimes, the cell phone reception can be challenging. That, added to the simple logistics of moving and then settling into a new life, made the […]

Why Grief is NOT a Mental Illness

Posted on April 1, 2012 - by Suzy Yehl Marta

Recently, it was announced that the American Psychiatric Association is currently revising the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), a tool used by clinicians to diagnose patients. Shockingly, they’ve added grief as a treatable disease as part of the proposed changes. Put simply, grief is not a clinical illness that can be “treated” but rather the normal, natural way in which people respond when they lose someone or something that is of deep value to them. This topic will be widely covered in the coming months and has already garnered attention from the New York Times and other […]

Writing It Forward After Husband’s Early Death

Posted on March 31, 2012 - by Laura B. Hayden

Thirteen years ago, I read a letter to an editor urging young widows to go for annual physicals. The timing of the piece reminded me of when I first read about the Heimlich Maneuver in 1974, just days after my grandfather choked to death on a bite of meat. My uncle had rushed to Grandpa’s aid, pounding on his back to dislodge the piece of meat – all to no avail. If he had known enough to wrap his arms just above Grandpa’s waist, and pull into his gut, the morsel would have popped out and my grandfather would have […]

Grief and the Strengths Perspective

Posted on March 30, 2012 - by David Roberts

As I draw nearer to retirement from state service, the memories about the colleagues whose association I have valued and the patients who have crossed my path during the past 27 years have increased in frequency. I have also begun to reflect on the damage that well-meaning human service professionals can do to clients who are in the early stages of trauma simply through the interventions that they use. Since my daughter Jeannine’s death on 3/1/03 at the age of 18, I have become more sensitive to the interventions used with grieving clients that may unintentionally undermine as oppose to […]