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Underwater at the Cancer Diagnosis

Posted on April 26, 2011 - by Karen Johnson

I could see his lips moving and his eyes penetrating but I felt like I was swimming underwater. The muffled sounds seemed far away and the x-ray the doctor was pointing to had black spots on the tailbone, elbow, neck and rib. I drew myself above water and spoke, “Couldn’t they be arthritis?” and immediately delved backwards to the soundproof zone of denial. I needed gulps of fresh air, but my husband and the doctor seemed to be pantomiming a conversation with one another and the pointer in the physician’s hand kept tracking from one spot to another. Soon to […]

Memoirs May Bring Peace, Hope

Posted on April 25, 2011 - by Sandra Pesmen

My new memoir, Stairway to the Stars: John Tavolta, Woody Allen, Joan Rivers…and Me is off to a fine start, selling nicely with positive reviews as readers dive into the secrets of my career and personal life. But since this memoir brought such peace and closure to me, I hope it’s also going to inspire others who experienced sorrow to try and write their own memories. Ann Bilott, a retired teacher and widow did that. She recently contacted the WidowsList.com to say the adjustment to living alone after such a long time was very difficult for her, and it helped her to begin writing down her thoughts. How fortunate we are that she did, […]

Coming out of the Wilderness of Loss

Posted on April 24, 2011 - by Cynthia Ranyak

This has been a long Easter season and as we are accustomed to bringing in the newness of life during this season, it is also a great time to let go of the lingering resentments of anger and confusion that comes with grieving the loss of a child. Holding on to great memories and letting go of hurt, resentment, and hatred, if any is living in your soul, is always what bereaved parents are advised to pursue and hopefully achieve. My beloved daughter was killed one week after Easter in 2005, which was an unusually early Easter season. This year […]

Mother Gradually Recovers from an Easter Loss

Posted on April 24, 2011 - by Kathryn Williams Raths

Judy Marquette lost her son on Easter eight years ago. For her, this time of year is especially difficult. Spring sets in and new life is gifted in abundance. It is a time when families gather to enjoy one another and, depending on religious beliefs, offer tribute to the remembrance and sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Given her life-altering loss, Judy’s outlook is remarkable. She has renewed and strengthened her faith in God and learned to live again with purpose in the aftermath. She has channeled her sorrow into the creative outlet of music. I interviewed her recently, and this is […]

Easter Surprise Helps Mom Heal from Child-Loss

Posted on April 23, 2011 - by Deb Kosmer

On October 25, 1989, my fourteen-year-old son Shawn was struck by a car and died. When the coroner came to our door to tell us, I felt like he’d stuck a knife in my heart. I wanted so badly for him to be at the wrong house talking about the wrong kid. But he wasn’t and the nightmare began. I don’t remember much about those first few weeks and months. I do remember how hard it seemed to breathe. I kept waiting for the nightmare to end. It didn’t. I didn’t suddenly wake up and see my son sleeping in […]

Easter Adoption Gives Pain, Then Peace

Posted on April 23, 2011 - by Richard Ballo

Growing up Catholic, Easter meant dressing up for church and coloring Easter eggs and eating chocolate. Many years later, my wife Lisa and I did the same thing with our young children. Seven years into our marriage, and two years after Lisa’s devastating diagnosis of cancer, Lisa, our two children and I were living with our eyes on the future. Lisa and I had talked about having more children but at this point, we could only adopt if an agency decided to take us on as clients. We did find an agency that took us on because there are no […]

our beautiful jo holly

Posted on April 22, 2011 - by admin

one year ago tonight our 27 year old high school art teacher who graduated amgna cum laude and loved her students and her profession succumbed to the pain and agony of self-medicating bipolar disease. she had developed it after years of anxiety and found pain killers could help ease her pain but of course they also ruined her life and in a psychotic break she hung herself with a clothesline and her daddy found her the next morning on his way to work. one year should help some but i do not feel better; i feel guilty; ifeel lost; iyearn […]

Caregivers: We’re Not Mother Teresa

Posted on April 22, 2011 - by Stan Goldberg

I’d been a bedside volunteer for more than five years; sitting with dying patients and their families once or twice a week for up to four continuous hours. Sometimes I stayed with patients overnight. Regardless how demanding my responsibilities, I knew that when I left the bedside, I’d have three to six days to “recover.” It was a time to prepare myself for next week’s activities that could range from cooking a meal, to witnessing a friend’s active dying. My downtime—something that allowed me to recharge my batteries—is a luxury many caregivers don’t have. I thought I understood what they […]

2 angels lost

Posted on April 21, 2011 - by admin

There were 2 angels sent from heaven to earth, just lent to us for a brief time. During that time, the angels showed others the meaning of love, caring and compassion. The first angel was called home 10 months ago and was my sister Laurie. She was an angel through and through with a heart that shone of pure gold to those that knew here. Her departure from here was sudden and unexpected. Although she was greatly missed, we understood that she needed to fly free, unencumbered and to be in heaven with those she had loved and lost. The […]

Grief Has Its Own Timetable

Posted on April 20, 2011 - by Mary Jane Hurley Brant

After the death of someone we love, our grief experience and overall healing has everything to do with our relationship to the deceased, the intensity and depth of the love we felt for them, and our degree of faith in a hereafter. In the immediate aftermath of a person’s death, it’s hard to breathe and everything hurts. We feel shattered, bewildered and frightened. Sometimes, however, grief shows us its own timetable and can be delayed or complicated. I experienced a long delay in time sequence when my father died. I was thirteen years old; it was the springtime of my […]