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Cognitive Dissonance in the Hereafter

Posted on April 2, 2011 - by K. Paul Stoller

I am in frequent communication, to a greater or lesser degree, with my teenage son who passed in a train accident at the end of 2007. The bridge that has been built between us, with the assistance of many others, has allowed enough clarity for a series of books to be written by my son, still 19 years old by earth years if he had remained. The first book is just now off the printing presses. Now, this is a very personal experience and I am not trying to convince anyone of anything. I am just sharing, but understand that […]

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How To Die Laughing

Posted on April 1, 2011 - by Bernie Siegel

A friend of mine and his new wife decided to spend their honeymoon camping out. I heard this story from him after all the events had occurred. He said, “Our first night out I cut up the branches of a tree to make a shelter for our campsite. We had a quiet evening but were awakened in the morning by a horrible roar. “When I stepped out of the tent there was a demon standing there. I asked the demon what he wanted and he said, ‘You have ruined my sacred fruit tree. I am going to eat your heart […]

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Environmental Loss: Grief and Cherry Blossoms

Posted on April 1, 2011 - by K. Paul Stoller

I have written about the flower essences that helped me move some of the very painful energy in those first few days after the train accident that took my son’s earth life. Heart mend, aptly named, was one of the remedies my long time friend Brent Davis over-nighted to help with my grief, and it did help. But I needed more than what just flower essences could provide. I felt like I was heading towards the “Big One,” as the comedian Redd Foxx would often say on the sitcom, “Sanford & Son.” Now, Brent and I go way back, and […]

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Grief Process: Asking the Profound Questions

Posted on March 31, 2011 - by Ellen Gerst

One way to successfully travel the road of grief towards renewal is to afford yourself an appropriate amount of time for introspective thought. Richard Bach suggests asking yourself questions. He says, “The simplest questions are the most profound. Where were you born? Where is your home? Where are you going? What are you doing? Think about these once in a while and watch your answers change.” Let’s look at each of these questions from two perspectives as I illustrate how you can answer them simply or delve for a deeper meaning. Where Were You Born? Taken at face value, this […]

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Stitched Together By Memories: Legacy and Life Review

Posted on March 30, 2011 - by Jane Simington

In preparation for our mother’s 90th birthday, my sister requested that each of Mother’s children photograph the quilts mother had, over the years, given to us, our children and grandchildren. My sister was designing a “quilt book.” Clipping and snipping, she was fashioning a chapter for each of Mother’s children. Our individual stories were being braided into the story of Mother’s life, symbolically depicting her sharing of each of our journeys as we moved through the hills and valleys of our own experiences. While Mother did not live to view the final product, the overall goal for designing the quilt […]

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Not knowing Mum had died

Posted on March 29, 2011 - by admin

It will be a year on April the 2nd which was good Friday that I found out my poor mother had died. She had been dead nearly 2 years but my father wanted to punish me for things past so did not tell me and got one of his sisters to telephone me and tell me. My father and mother have not spoken to me four at least 6 years, but I have found out since my mother wanted to ring me and my father would not let her. My twin brother kept this a secret from me also, so […]

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The Art of Patience in the Grieving Process

Posted on March 29, 2011 - by Lauren Muscarella

Quick. Fast. Now. Go. Do. Success. Power. Instant gratification is an unfortunate American archetype. I feel myself drawn to this alluring proposition constantly even when I have, on more than one occasion, realized it’s self-defeating. I want to get where I am going now, not two hours from now, not two years from now. Right now. Even as a big proponent of living in the moment, something self-help gurus bellow regularly, I catch myself impatiently chasing after my current challenge at any given time. I want to climb the damn mountain already and move on to the next. But by […]

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The day you died.

Posted on March 26, 2011 - by admin

It been six months (yesterday) since my brother died suddenly. A unknown man on the end of the phone, spoke to me. He told me you were dead. He bought me to my knees. His news shattered my life beyond repair. I sobbed as I tried to recall and reclaim your life back. The screams that I howled, felt like they were coming out of someone else’s body. The weight of my body collapsed on the floor, like some sacrificial emptying. I took the form of the lifeless balloon, after its air had escaped. How often I think of you […]

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a hole in my heart

Posted on March 26, 2011 - by admin

My husband Keith spent 10 months battling cancer. Together we fought it….chemo, radiation and more radiation. He was in so much pain we had to go to hospice. They gave him so much morphine – I feel like that is what killed him. He died 2 weeks after we went to hospice house. I have so much guilt and anger. Why did I let them take him to hospice house? I thought they would just adjust his medication and send him home. He never came home. We were just about to retire together and he worked so hard all of […]

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Woman Finds it Hard to Trust after Sister’s Murder

Posted on March 26, 2011 - by Shirley Wiles-Dickinson

“A normal reaction to a very abnormal situation.” My psychologist spoke those words to me so often in the months following my sister’s murder. Choosing to seek the help of psychologist was one of the most important decisions I made.  I discussed so many emotions and feelings with her.  Emotions and feelings I would have most likely kept bottled up inside had I not made that first appointment with her. Of all the issues I discussed with her,  trust seemed to be the most difficult.  I remember my first appointment.  She was soft spoken, gentle, she put me at ease. […]

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