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Bringing Daniel Back to Life

Posted on November 22, 2010 - by Gabriel Constans

“Stop the train! I want to get off!” Jean shouted. Jean’s son of forty-three years had died in a restaurant. He choked to death. He had survived a life of infinite struggle as he lived with Down’s Syndrome and the isolation, stigma and cultural alienation he and his family had experienced daily. “He was such a good soul,” Jean continued, as tears streamed down her cheeks. “Of all the things to happen, why did it have to happen to him?” Her son Daniel had become increasingly independent as he aged and was living in a group home in the Bay […]

Taking the Plunge to Honor Son

Posted on November 22, 2010 - by John French

It has been a well over a year now since my life suddenly plunged into despair. Losing my son was devastating on every level, and life continues to spiral out of control. Every day, I fall a little further from the height of my elation. From those glorious days when I was on top of the world. Now, I struggle just to maintain my composure. There are days when I feel that I am regaining some stability, and moments when I plummet into a boundless despair. Everything seems so distant and distorted. I can’t look to the past or ponder […]

Using Linking Objects at Thanksgiving Dinner

Posted on November 22, 2010 - by Harriet Hodgson

The empty chairs at our Thanksgiving table are increasing. Four loved ones died in 2007 and, while the pain of loss has diminished, it’s still with me. My father-in-law, the family patriarch who always asked us to join hands and say, “God bless us every one,” won’t be with us. Nor will my elder daughter and her husband. My brother and I won’t talk on the phone. Thanksgiving is bittersweet because my daughter was born on this national holiday. I remember another bittersweet Thanksgiving. Years ago, when my mother was in the final stage of dementia, she joined us for […]

Hints for Making it Through the Holidays

Posted on November 21, 2010 - by Barb Roberts

The holidays are coming, and this may be your first or second without your loved one. What do you do to get through this huge wave, this tsunami, looming before you? How do you cope when every time you turn on the radio in your car, turn on the television, go to the market, you see those around you with an intact family, with a holiday smile, and you are literally crumbling inside? There is no right or wrong way to respond when grieving – particularly grieving through the Holiday Season! We and sometimes those in our lives have the […]

Do Our Loved Ones Spend the Holidays With Us?

Posted on November 21, 2010 - by Christine Duminiak

Holidays can be one of the most sorrowful periods in our lives as the memories of treasured moments spent with our loves come flooding back. These are some of the times that we most dread. We often feel alone, and our pain can be even more intense. Oh, how we wish they could be here with us again, enjoying each other’s company and laughing and chatting again. Would you be shocked to learn that our loved ones in Heaven actually do come around to spend those special holidays with us? “What?” you might say. “How can you know this for […]

Don’t Let Last Words Be Words of Regret

Posted on November 20, 2010 - by Alicia King

Most people who have lost someone close to them replay their last moments together over and over in their minds. Sometimes it’s in a favorable way, thankful for the chance to say all they needed to say to each other. The “now or never” aspect casts a new, urgent light on what matters most. Priorities become clear. Other times, we think of everything we did wrong, they did wrong, or what we wish we could change. When death is unexpected, comments considered mundane at the time can turn out to be their much-repeated “last words.” Those of us left behind […]

20 Tips to Manage Grief During the First Holiday

Posted on November 19, 2010 - by Barbara Rubel

What would the world be like without holidays? Each year, families and friends look forward to sharing these special times together. This is often not the case for the bereaved, especially during the first holiday after a loss. If I were to ask you what you needed this holiday season, what would you say? Just like you, I was brought up to believe that holidays are fun and joyful. But now that you are grieving, it can make the holidays a painful and exhausting experience. Take the time to find healing activities and appreciate your life. Look at what your […]

Does Choosing How to Die Make a Difference?

Posted on November 18, 2010 - by Stan Goldberg

If you could choose the way you will die, what would it be? Many people cavalierly answer “old age” or “in my sleep,” as if either of these answers will offer relief from an event they’ll do almost anything to avoid thinking about. But for some of us, the answers have less latitude and little humor. We have a better idea than most people what will do us in. In my case, it will most likely be prostate cancer, unless something else beats it to the punch. I often think about the deaths of patients I’ve served for the past […]

Holidays With Feeling (and Little or No Money)

Posted on November 17, 2010 - by Kim Go

Before my life partner Brian died, the holidays looked VERY different than they do now. Before Brian died, ample money was spent on transport, hotels, meals… and the children’s gifts. Brian loved to spend money on his children – they grew accustomed to nice gifts and activities. My financial limitations after Brian died were daunting. Doing the holidays with less – one less person whom you loved, less money, less energy, less decorating, less food – can be a really tough situation. However, I found that with little to no money, and targeted energy, you can still create “holiday feeling” […]

i not only lost my mother i lost my best friend

Posted on November 16, 2010 - by admin

i lost my mum 6weeks ago it was a acddent that was never ment to happen i feel lost confussed numb angry and words cant express how am feeling at the moment it would be good to keep in contact with people that are going thought the same as they will understand what am going thought