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Making Amends After Mom is Gone

Posted on May 8, 2010 - by Clara Hinton

Mother’s Day had been one of the most dreaded days of my life for a long time–until I learned that guilt can be overcome and forgiveness can take place after the death of your mother. The Mother’s Day before the loss of my stillborn son, I did something that was so out of character for me that I still cannot believe I did it. I totally ignored my mother on Mother’s Day, and I did it knowing that I would hurt her deeply. I was angry with her for being an alcoholic. I was angry with her for ruining her […]

The First Mother’s Day Without Mine

Posted on May 7, 2010 - by Connie Vasquez

I’ve always been adept at compartmentalization or, as it’s less euphemistically known, DENIAL. I’ve read some wonderful books about the grieving process and its non-linear stages, most notably Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler’s On Grief and Grieving. While those books were comforting, I confess that being an only child and a New Yorker make me disdainful of generalizations. Sometimes, though, there’s just no escape; try as we might, the heart feels what the mind and senses seem to ignore. In April, the lilacs begin to bloom. I push back the familiar thoughts that they have always been the Mother’s Day […]

Remembering First Mother’s Day After Daughter’s Death

Posted on May 7, 2010 - by Sue Hunt

Mother’s Day is on its way. You can’t miss it. There are advertisements on TV. Stores have big ads placed everywhere. The Mother’s Day sales are here. Reminders are everywhere. It can be one of the most difficult days to get through, especially following the loss of a child. I remember the first Mother’s Day after Sara passed. It was one of the hardest days to face. I felt so awkward. I definitely felt my heart was broken. But I also realized that I was still a mother to my surviving son, and I was still a mother to my daughter who had […]

Mother’s Day Transforms After Mom’s Suicide

Posted on May 6, 2010 - by Dempsey Rice

A woman I know recently wrote me an email that read: “Little children, I remember, I wonder, was it really me and was it really them?” This little comment struck me because I’ve mused in this very way about my mother who took her own life in October 1987. I’ve thought to myself: Did my mother really take her own life? Is this really my life? My experience? Those musings are part of a little game I used to play with myself: if I question it, if I wonder about it, perhaps I can imagine that it didn’t really happen […]

Mother’s Day Brings Sorrow — and Joy

Posted on May 6, 2010 - by Diana Doyle

Every year on the morning of Mother’s Day, I cry. On this special day, I’m greeted with a huge dimpled smile from our daughter Dempsey, who sneaks into our room, usually with a present she has made for me, hidden behind her back. The moment tugs at my heart strings, and I cry. I cry at how lucky I am to have her in my life, and I cry that our other daughter, Savannah, who would be ten years old, isn’t with her sister, giving me a huge hug too and climbing into bed beside us. If I go to […]

Mother’s Death Means ‘Losing Our World’

Posted on May 5, 2010 - by Norman Fried

As Mother’s Day approaches, we find ourselves thinking about the relationship that started it all, and about our need to honor the woman who helped to make the world a better place. Indeed, perhaps the greatest partnership of all, and one that aids most in the replenishment of a holier, more “Divine” world, is the relationship between woman and God. For woman, who becomes mother (whether she is a biological or a psychological mother), is the progenitor of life, transmitter of covenantal law, and leader of the family. As mother, she lives not only for herself, but for “the multitude” […]

Coping With Mother’s Day When Your Mom Has Passed On

Posted on May 4, 2010 - by Gemini Adams

Mother’s Day has to be one of the worst days of the year if you have already lost, or are in the midst of losing, your mom. Wherever you go, there are reminders that your mom isn’t here or soon won’t be, ads for what gifts you should buy her, reminders to get her cards and flowers, discounts on the hottest restaurants. There are radio promotions, TV commercials; even your friends are talking about what they’re doing or what their kids plan to do for them! For those without the presence of their real mom (and that includes adopted kids), […]

Mother Describes Contact With Deceased Son

Posted on May 3, 2010 - by Sheri Perl

I have reason to believe that our prayers help our loved ones who have passed. Children have come through mediums to me and clearly expressed that our prayers are felt and appreciated. In fact, I have received this message from my son Daniel on three occasions, twice in a session with the medium Glenn Dove and once in session with the medium Roland Comtois! The first time I heard this message was in a reading with Dove on July 8, 2008, one week after Danny had passed. Dove said this: “I don’t know if somebody contacted a group that […]

Mother’s Day: A Chance to Make Son Proud

Posted on May 2, 2010 - by Amy C. Maddocks

With Mother’s Day quickly approaching (in the U.S.), my thoughts become more focused on my son, Connor, and all children who have died too soon. Of course, Conner is always on my mind, but during this time of year, everything is so focused on motherhood that I can’t help but think of him even more. While traveling around giving presentations on child loss, and while promoting my book about child loss, I have had many mothers ask me the same question, “Am I still a mother if my child died?” My answer is always an emphatic, “YES!” Regardless of whether you […]

Anticipatory Grief: When Someone You Love is Dying

Posted on May 1, 2010 - by Leila Summers

Anticipating the loss of someone you love is a terrifying and traumatic time. The person may have a life threatening or terminal illness. You are torn in two: one side is full of hope and trust that the person will survive, the other full of fear and dread that he or she may not. Anticipatory grief is a terrible place of limbo between knowing and not knowing. The time between knowing and not knowing is a silent grief that you often choose not to talk about. If you keep it to yourself, you believe that in some way, you won’t bring about the […]