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When the Crying Won’t Stop, Try Breathing

Posted on January 24, 2010 - by Gloria Arenson

I recently met a woman I’ll call Anna who lost her spouse in a terrible accident ten years ago. Although time has passed, for her, it is as if it happened yesterday. Whenever she remembers, as she does every day, she can’t help but weep. Anna wanted to tell me her story, and as she started to speak, she was so overwhelmed by her pain that she could only sob. I knew that reliving the moment over and over keeps the wound open, and this is harmful physically, emotionally and spiritually. Therefore, I showed Anna a simple technique for lessening […]

Bereaved Mom ‘Saved’ by Looking Outward, Helping Others

Posted on January 23, 2010 - by Genesse Gentry

After the death of our daughter Lori, I was completely devastated. Everything I believed about life was tossed out the window and I was filled with despair. It felt as if grief would destroy me. Much of that time is now a blur, too painful to remember. But I do recall clearly my feeling of disconnection from most of the world of the living. My life had been ruined and I had no idea what to do. The friends with whom I’d surrounded myself before Lori’s death had no way of knowing how to befriend me in this, and I […]

Dad’s Legacy: A Lesson About Giving

Posted on January 22, 2010 - by Eric Tomei

One of the great things that my dad taught me is that it is always better to give than receive, that to give unconditionally brings true happiness in life.That lesson has stuck with me. I volunteer for a charity here in Metro Detroit called Yatooma’s Foundation for the Kids (http://www.forthekidsfoundation.org). It assists families who have lost a parent with anything from grief counseling to bill-paying It touched my heart that there are so many families struggling. I was called the week before Christmas by Kristin, one of the dedicated Yatooma workers. She needed someone to be a shopper for 1-3 families in the […]

Listening to Haitians’ Stories Crucial in the Days Ahead

Posted on January 22, 2010 - by Harriet Hodgson

Nobody knows how many Haitians were killed in the earthquake. The current estimate of 100,000-200,000 is beyond understanding. Though aid is pouring in from around the world, lack of government, communications, roads, heavy equipment, and gasoline prevents it from reaching the people. Captain Bruce Lindsey, commander of the USS Carl Vinson, anchored off Haiti’s coast, is quoted in the January 16-17 issue of “The Wall Street Journal” as saying, “Speed is of the essence in a crisis like this, but with the airport and harbor so badly damaged, there are clear limits to the amount of supplies that can be […]

Poem: A True Man for All to Behold

Posted on January 21, 2010 - by Deborah Tornillo

A gentle giant you were. Heaven’s blue eyes, and A handsome smile. Stories of past Written on your face. Poems of present in your heart. A courageous soldier You fought for our freedom. A loving husband and father. Hands of strength And, shoulders of steel. A protector of your kingdom. You walked your talk Always choosing the right road. A true man for all to behold. I miss you Daddy! Deborah Ann Tornillo Copyright© 2010 Author, “36 Days Apart” http://www.deborahtornillo.com

Grieving a Father and a Mother’s Soul Mate

Posted on January 21, 2010 - by Kathryn Williams Raths

As my mom, Patricia LaBean, and I placed our order for funeral flowers, on that day in May of 2008, she told the florist, “Fifty years ago July, I was here with my boyfriend ordering our wedding flowers!” It seemed like she lived a lifetime with her childhood sweetheart but it didn’t matter, it was all taken away in a moment’s time. We had no idea how to begin grieving the loss of my beloved father and my mom’s soul mate, LaVern LaBean (known by all as Buck). Our lives were shattered by his death. My mom’s biggest fear was to live by herself […]

When to Tell – and Not Tell – Your Grief Story

Posted on January 19, 2010 - by Harriet Hodgson

Last month, my husband and I went to a holiday party. We enjoyed the food, piano music, and visiting with friends. As we prepared to leave, a friend asked what I was doing these days. When I told her we were raising our twin grandchildren because their parents had died in separate car crashes, her jaw dropped. “That’s unbelievable,” she said. Another person overheard our conversation and was obviously uncomfortable with my honesty. This is not the first time this has happened. Years ago, I had a similar experience. I answered a question honestly and a guest commented, “Please don’t […]

Grandmother Shares Story of Double Loss

Posted on January 18, 2010 - by Sherry Van Pelt

January 25th will be my third grandchild’s birthday. There won’t be any cake or ice cream or a party. She isn’t here with us. Instead we will put balloons on her gravesite. She would have been 14. Her name was Jacy Kay. She had my middle name. We would have had another teenager in the family. When I hear of people complaining of their teenager, I keep thinking of how I would have loved to have had the opportunity of getting to know her as one. But she was taken from us before she even had the chance to live. It was […]

Speaking of Grief: Tips for Listening to Others’ Grief

Posted on January 16, 2010 - by Jenna Baddeley

This is the last in a 3-part series about how to talk about grief, and how to listen to others who are grieving. The following is advice for those who are willing to try to listen to and support others who are grieving. 1. Be there for the person. One of my favorite quotations is, “life is mostly froth and bubbles, two things stand like stone, kindness in another’s trouble, courage in your own1.” If you have ever undergone a personal crisis, you know that your friends’ and loved ones’ support and understanding can be a light in the darkness of […]

Speaking of Grief: Tips for Talking About Your Grief

Posted on January 15, 2010 - by Jenna Baddeley

This is the second in a 3-part series about how to speak about one’s grief. Listeners are alert to cues that you aren’t going to be a huge burden to them. Here’s how you can send them the message that you aren’t going to burden them excessively in a number of ways, while still sharing your story. 1. Don’t rehash the same negative story again and again. Research evidence is clear that rumination – going over the same sad feelings and thoughts again and again in an attempt to analyze and understand them – makes people feel worse. Going over […]