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Without My Twin: Reflections On A Road Traveled

Posted on January 4, 2010 - by Linda Pountney

A new twin joined our twinloss Yahoo group. He has recently lost his twin. I related to his words about how we draw strength from our connection to our twin. The intrinsic nature of twin connectedness was made clearer for me. It is this connection or bond that when severed, brought in the feelings of aloneness like none I have ever known. With facing my grief and learning to reach out in trust to others, this aloneness has changed to something that nurtures me in the tough times… my twinship. Fierce and uncontrollable, my fury at my twin Paula’s sudden […]

Helping Children Grieve During the Holidays

Posted on January 3, 2010 - by Pamela Gabbay

The holiday season is painful for adults after the death of a loved one, but it can be even more isolating and distressing for children if they are not given ample guidance from the adults in their lives. Here are some suggestions for how to help your children during the holidays: 1. Suppress the urge to ignore the holidays because they seem too painful to endure. It’s important that children are given the opportunity to celebrate the holidays without feeling bad or feeling guilty. After all, they still have a need to “just be a kid,” especially during the holidays. […]

Creating a Fresh Palette in Your Home for 2011

Posted on January 3, 2010 - by Susan Reynolds

The new year dawns. Fresh starts. Newly formed commitments. Anticipation and hope of greater, grander or simply a gentler existence. In and through grief, the past wafts by us unexpectedly with its pleasures and its challenges. The new year brings for us a time to reassess which things to carry along with us , which outlooks in our mind and which outlooks in our surroundings. Working with therapists and life coaches, the emphasis lies in changing the inside thoughts to bring changes to the outer side of life. I have also found that sometimes the reverse can spur me onward, […]

Restoring Balance After the Death of a Loved One

Posted on January 2, 2010 - by Harriet Hodgson

Restoring stability and balance after a death may be the biggest challenge of your life. Balance is what I wanted after four family members died within nine months. Other family members had died and, though I was familiar with loss, this time was different. Grieving for multiple losses is harder than grieving for one and I often went backwards on the recovery path. Finally, I realized I was grieving for family members in the order they died. Months passed and I knew I was making progress, but stability eluded me, and I was on constant alert for more tragedy. What […]

Grief and the Holidays: You Can be ‘Master of Your Emotions’

Posted on January 1, 2010 - by Ellen Gerst

The word “anniversary” takes on a whole new meaning for widow/ers, or for any griever. An anniversary date is any meaningful date to you and your loved one. The hardest anniversary date usually is the one that commemorates the day of the death. There have been many psychological-based articles written on the importance of the one year marker. Do not be fooled that at one year all your grief will magically dissipate, and you will be ready to move on with your life. Please do not misunderstand me. The one year anniversary is a very important date. It is a […]

All I Wanted For Christmas Was … My Family

Posted on December 31, 2009 - by Audrey Stringer

How much did I love Christmas? I would start my Christmas shopping in July of each year. I was the social convener of the century, organizing party after party. And, of course, a real tree was mandatory. I loved the smell of a Christmas tree and loved touching the needles. And my collection of Christmas ornaments was huge. There were Christmas ornaments with my children’s names and ones we created together when the children were young. At our house, we decorated the tree together as a family, listening to Christmas carols and drinking eggnog. The death of my husband, Rhod, […]

The Role of Ritual Following a Major Loss

Posted on December 29, 2009 - by Stephanie Frogge

Several years ago, I was watching news coverage following the crash of a passenger plane that killed all on board. The plane actually crashed into the ocean so over the next few days, survivor families gathered at the shore nearest to where the plane had gone down to gather information, comfort one another, and engage in memorial rituals. Some family members chartered helicopters to fly over the actual crash site; many survivors participated in impromptu candlelight vigils; literally hundreds joined together for a more formal ceremony that culminated in throwing wreaths of flowers onto the water at sunset. One broadcast […]

Holiday Healing: Rest, Compassion, Prayer

Posted on December 28, 2009 - by Mary Jane Hurley Brant

The holidays have arrived. Normally they are a time for family fun and celebration but when you are grieving the loss of someone who has died, the season is different: it is painful. Grieving is a long process. It takes time to heal from the loss of a loved one. When we are grieving, we can feel completely overwhelmed with sadness, overwhelmed with missing the beloved person who has gone. We long for them. We think we will not survive. So we ask ourselves, “How can I make it through these days?” Here are some thoughts that have helped me. […]

Do the Holidays Feel Like Too Much? How Caregivers and Families Find Joy in the Season

Posted on December 27, 2009 - by Carol O'Dell

Do you feel like there’s just too much to do during the holiday season? If you’re caregiving, I’d be willing to bet that your stress levels are ramping on up there about now. It’s not that it’s not all good – the tree, the gifts, the home baked cookies, the parties, the family gatherings, the lights. Every one of those holiday components are wonderful. When the proverbial “soup pot” boils over and the cookies burn, you don’t want to go to one more red-sweater party (or there are no parties and you feel empty), and the whipped cream on top of the hot chocolate–someone says/does […]

Five Tips For Grievers During the Holidays

Posted on December 26, 2009 - by Jane Galbraith

The first Christmas without my mother was agony. Actually, the month before was probably worse than the day itself. Because my mother had been sick between December 6 and January 11, I relived the whole month, which included Christmas and New Year’s Day. I tried to do things that I had done with my mother in hopes of making everything “all right”. But of course, it would never be the same. Grief causes physical and emotional pain. Baby Boomers have come to expect instant pain relief in this fast paced society. Unfortunately, Baby Boomers will be facing this chapter in […]