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When Death Steals Your Holidays

Posted on December 12, 2009 - by Paul Bennett

We all have images about how life should look, and those images are never more powerful than when we look ahead to a holiday. My wife, Bonnie, loved Christmas. The fall when she was dying of cancer, she ordered presents by phone and online, sent our daughter Rebecca to stores, and had me pack presents for shipping. She finished all her Christmas shopping, and she died on the 17th of December. A couple of days after Bonnie’s memorial service, Rebecca and I opened the gifts Bonnie had bought for us. We were numb, uprooted. The only thing stranger than opening […]

Poem: For Sale

Posted on December 11, 2009 - by Deborah Tornillo

Sad eyes Without a smile. Years of tears Stained with fear. A broken heart That’s torn apart. A body and mind Tested by time. A tired soul Made of solid gold. Lifetime of pain Comes with a cane. Yesterday and tomorrow Feelings of sorrow. Memories of death There’s more left. Grief Without relief. All offers accepted! Deborah Ann Tornillo Copyright© 2009 http://www.deborahtornillo.com

Stress and Grief: To Fight or Befriend

Posted on December 11, 2009 - by admin

By Tom Golden As I watched our local TV news the other day, I was saddened to see a brief clip about a little, seven-year-old boy who had been hit by a car and killed. The tragedy happened not far from the boy’s home. The news cameras focused on the bereaved mother, sitting in her living room, in tears and surrounded by other women who were consoling her. The next image was of the bereaved father who was by himself, pacing next to the roadside near where the accident had happened. The news anchor explained that the father was trying […]

Honor the Deceased, Even if Relationship Was Broken

Posted on December 10, 2009 - by Harriet Hodgson

When my brother died in the spring of 2007, I barely had time to mourn him. Our elder daughter — mother of our twin grandchildren — had died four months earlier. My father-in-law died the same weekend and we were swamped with tasks. We were also doing all we could to nurture our grandchildren — children who were now without a mother. Grief was still raw when my brother had a heart attack and died. Apparently, he had survived cancer treatment, but his heart had not. We attended the memorial service on Long Island, flew home, and tried to put […]

Poem: Let Me……

Posted on December 9, 2009 - by Deborah Tornillo

Let me enjoy Christmas I want to feel the sparkle The white of the lights The colors of the season. Let me enjoy Christmas I want to get beyond The crowds at the mall For all the right seasons. Let me enjoy Christmas I want to feel the holiday The happiness of my family And, yes – the happiness of me. Let me enjoy Christmas No more tears No more sadness No more deaths. Let me feel Christmas! Deborah Ann Tornillo Copyright©, 2009 http://www.deborahtornillo.com

Giving Away Stuffed Animals Eases Grief

Posted on December 9, 2009 - by Bob Baugher

On January 11, 2003, I visited my dad who was recuperating from pneumonia in a care center. That night, as always, we talked about the old days, something we loved to do. Sometimes the topic of conversation would be about how much fun we have had over the years winning hundreds (more like a couple thousand) stuffed animals from fairs by throwing balls into a bushel basket or bouncing coins into a glass plate. Even at age 80, Dad was still good at it. Only a couple months before, on his yearly trip to ‘Vegas, he’d won several stuffed animals […]

Dr. Annette Childs: A Journey From Loss to Healing

Posted on December 8, 2009 - by admin

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10mvPRotUoM&feature=channel_page[/youtube]

Poem: Death

Posted on December 8, 2009 - by Deborah Tornillo

Why, do you show your face? Is it because it is cold outside Or, because the leaves have fallen Because, the snow is blanketing The ground with white crystals? Why? You visit often, just recently Taking a life, my father Then, you took my mother. Why just 36 days apart Did you show your face? Why? Now, you come back, and Knock at the door, once more Taunting, gripping, pulling Wanting to take another life Does age matter? Why? He’s just a simple man A man with many years Yet, he has little strength Yes, he’s tired, yes he’s weak […]

What to Say to a Grieving Person: There’s an App for That

Posted on December 8, 2009 - by Patrick T. Malone

I think one of the most frequently asked questions after a loss is, “What should I say to someone who is grieving?” My company has developed a product that might help with that. Some background: This past April, I wrote about the importance of acknowledging people who are grieving. Often, the fear of saying the wrong thing leads people to say nothing. From the bereaved individual’s point of view, this could be seen as uncaring or pretending the death did not occur. So I shared some excerpts from our book, “Cracking the Code to Leadership,” in the hope that it would help […]

Bringing Light into a Dark Place: Joining Inmates in Overcoming Hopelessness

Posted on December 7, 2009 - by Barbara Francis

I have been in and out of jail for well over a year. I’m not there because I’ve broken a law or violated probation. I visit the barb wired facility to bring hope into a very dark place. It’s part of my healing process after losing my best friend six years ago in a plane crash. Hopelessness is the unwanted companion I share with the jail’s residents. We have something in common. Jail sucks the light right out of the 120 female inmates. I, too, sat in darkness for years after the unexpected death of my friend Jody. The inmates […]