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Marked by Death, for the Rest of Our Lives

Posted on November 16, 2009 - by Alice Wisler

After my four-year-old died, I was certain my family would never be the same again. It is true and has been proven over and over that we will no longer be the typical family living at the end of the cul-de-sac. We may look the same (only because I have not been daring enough to don all black as our Victorian ancestors) but our hearts have been mangled and our future dimmed. Through death we have been marked—for life. In the course of any given week, I can clearly note how the changes have come and stayed with us. Events […]

Poem: Together

Posted on November 16, 2009 - by Deborah Tornillo

Walk alone and you will find Memories of yesterday Can destroy your mind. Visions of death and despair Continue to surface Leaving you with fear. Walk alone and you will find Friends along the way Offering words of kind. Fears of yesterday begin to fade Along side, it’s a new day Walk together, it will be okay. Deborah Ann Tornillo Author, “36 Days Apart” http://www.deborahtornillo.com

Easing Your Grief and Loss

Posted on November 15, 2009 - by admin

by O’Della Wilson Grief and loss are never easy to overcome and most people just don’t know what to do to assist others in their grief. Often times, we simply state “I know this is a difficult time for you right now, but you will get over it” or we say, “Time heals all wounds.” We have all suffered some type of grief and loss, yet trying to help someone during these same trials can leave our good sense behind, and our words feeling empty to the very person we are trying to help. When that grief and loss is […]

Holiday Treats Stir Up Memories of Loved Ones

Posted on November 14, 2009 - by Harriet Hodgson

Nana made candied orange peel every year. Dishes of this sweet treat appeared at the Thanksgiving table and Christmas dinner. In fact, the holidays would not be the same without this candy. After Nana died, my elder daughter continued the tradition, until she died two years ago. She was the mother of our only grandchildren — fraternal twins — and life is different without her. Christmas was my daughter’s favorite time of year. My granddaughter loves it too, and puts up the tree the day after Thanksgiving. “Grandma, can we make candied orange peel?” she asked. “Of course,” I replied. […]

Death of Child Affects Relationships Throughout Family

Posted on November 12, 2009 - by Alex James

When anyone we love dies our lives are changed; things we had planned will no longer be the same. The death of a child is often the least expected death, and the ongoing effect upon the remaining family can seem endless. One of the commonest things I hear said is: “You don’t expect to attend the funeral of your children.” We assume in life that we will grow old, having watched our children become people and take their place in the adult world. We are concerned for their well-being and on occasion may find ourselves thinking about a time when […]

Poem: First Thanksgiving

Posted on November 12, 2009 - by Genesse Gentry

The thought of being thankful fills my heart with dread. They’ll all be feigning gladness, not a word about her said. These heavy shrouds of blackness enveloping my soul, pervasive, throat-catching, writhe in me, and coil. I must, I must acknowledge, just express her name, so all sitting at the table, know I’m thankful that she came. Though she’s gone from us forever and we mourn to see her face, not one minute of her living, would her death ever replace. So I stop the cheerful gathering, though my voice quivers, quakes, make a toast to all her living. That […]

Check Blood Pressure Regularly as You Grieve

Posted on November 11, 2009 - by Harriet Hodgson

I try to take care of myself, and most of the time I do a good job of it. Getting an annual physical exam is part of my self-care plan. My exam started yesterday and the test results were excellent: very low cholesterol and a normal heart rate of 72 beats per minute. Though I had gained 10 pounds, my weight was still in the normal range. But my blood pressure was dangerously high. A nurse took a reading just before I saw my doctor. “Your blood pressure is 200,” she said, “and that’s not good.” My doctor took another […]

Poem: Listen

Posted on November 10, 2009 - by Deborah Tornillo

Can you hear me? Calling out your name I do each and everyday. Can you see me? My tears are for you And, for Daddy too. Can you feel me? Feel my broken heart It’s torn, completely apart. Mom, do you miss me? I miss you so very much And, I miss Dad too. Will I hear you? When you call out my name Everyday I listen, just the same. Deborah Ann Tornillo Author, “36 Days Apart” http://www.deborahtornillo.com

Episode 8: Fred Luskin on Forgiveness

Posted on November 10, 2009 - by admin

Topic: Forgiveness Guest: Frederic Luskin, Ph.D. Frederic Luskin, Ph.D. is the Director of the Stanford University Forgiveness Projects. Dr. Luskin’s research demonstrates that learning forgiveness leads to increased physical vitality, hope, greater self–efficacy, enhanced optimism and conflict resolution skills. His research also shows that forgiveness lessons the physical and emotional toll of stress, and decreases hurt, anger depression and blood pressure. Dr. Luskin is a bereaved parent of Anna, and the author of Forgive for Good: A Proven Prescription for Health and Happiness and Forgive for Love: The Missing Ingredient for a Healthy and Lasting Relationship. Click here to listen: […]

Giving to Others Helped Mom Make it Through Loss of Daughter

Posted on November 10, 2009 - by Jenny Hander

After my daughter passed away, I eventually grew tired of the hopelessness. My Christian faith allows me to believe that the Lord will bring good from every situation. I needed to find hope; reason to believe that good could come from our tragedy. As I began my desperate search for goodness, I looked around and realized we had many things that we no longer needed. You see, my daughter was a twin; we practically had two of everything, including stuffed animals. Our surviving twin daughter was hospitalized in neonatal intensive care for 89 days. I thought of all the children […]