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The Faces of Grief: Mourning Those We Never Knew

Posted on November 19, 2009 - by Stan Goldberg

Although there are many approaches to grief counseling, most focus directly on the grief we experience over the death of a loved one. But what about the unexplainable, and often embarrassing, grief experienced over the death of someone we never knew? The pop star whose life was unexpectedly ended, the child brutally killed by a pedophile, or the massacre of 13 young men and woman on an army base. I’m not referring to the normal amount of sadness felt when an great tragedy occurs. But rather that very deep sense of loss that is usually reserved for the death of […]

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Ten Best Ways to Get Through Holidays After Your Spouse Has Died

Posted on November 19, 2009 - by Laurie Spector & Ruth Spector Webster

Dreading the upcoming holidays? If you’ve recently lost your spouse, the coming festivities can feel as unwelcome as Marley’s Ghost. Here are some tried and true strategies for facing the holiday season: 1)   Think ahead and try to anticipate how you’ll feel on each holiday. 2)   Even if you don’t join in the festivities, don’t remain alone all day. Spend some time with a friend. 3)   Considering your loss, don’t expect yourself to be as upbeat as usual. Expect some sadness as you take part in the festivities. 4)   To lessen the chance of emotional “sneak attacks,” make some time […]

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Surviving the Holidays After Losing an Only Child

Posted on November 19, 2009 - by Kay Bevington

After losing an only child, surviving each day is so very painful and difficult for single parents, and holidays make it even more excruciating.  It may seem that there is no one with whom you can truly share the joy of the holiday.  Everyone else seems to have families who are intact and have a reason to celebrate.  The dark cloud of loneliness seems to pervade everything we do, everywhere we go, and even our inner self. We might want to rip the pages off the holiday calendar, go to bed and sleep away the days and nights that involve any […]

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After a Loss, Answering the Question: Who Am I Now?

Posted on November 19, 2009 - by Alex James

Death affects and changes everything. The circumstances and impact affect not only the obvious areas of life but every area and simple tasks that used to be easily undertaken can seem enormous and just too difficult. Everyday activities can be exhausting and any activity can create deep anxiety. Many of my clients tell me that not only are they grieving the loss of their loved one but alongside that there is the loss of themselves. The loss of everything they thought they knew, the planned life the sense of security. Nothing in their lives will be the same again. These […]

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Memories, Time, Grief and Healing

Posted on November 19, 2009 - by Bob Baugher

“How long has it been?” Bereaved parents are often asked this question. I ask it of you, “How long has it been?” Now answer this question: “How long does it feel like it’s been?” A common answer is, “On one hand it feels like yesterday. On the other, it feels like a long time ago.” Why do we experience our lives like this? How can something five or ten years ago feel recent and something that occurred last week feel forever ago? Let’s look at the concept of time and try to make some sense of it, with the added […]

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Thanksgiving – Why I’m Thankful

Posted on November 18, 2009 - by Deborah Tornillo

As far back as I can remember my mother and father loved celebrating Thanksgiving. My father would tell us that this was his favorite holiday, simply because we were blessed as a family with good health and fortune. He was proud that we were able to still come together throughout the years and gather around the dinner table to give thanks to our Lord for the gift of each other, and the wonderful meal my mother had prepared. She spent days in the kitchen baking homemade pumpkin pies, preparing all the side dishes and then her famous homemade stuffing for […]

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Poem: Shine, Forever Soar

Posted on November 18, 2009 - by Deborah Tornillo

God bless me with strength And the courage I need To move forward in life Embrace all that I’ve seen. Bless me with your love Through my turbulent times And, help me understand This journey of mine. Shower me with the radiance Of your brilliance, Lord Bless my heart, my soul Let me shine, forever soar. Deborah Ann Tornillo Author, “36 Days Apart” http://www.deborahtornillo.com

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Helping Bereaved Parents Cope

Posted on November 18, 2009 - by Sandy Fox

by Sandy Fox There are many things that can be done to help bereaved parents cope. You may have a friend who is just starting out on his or her grief journey, and it is hard enough for them to just get out of bed in the morning. They don’t need any platitudes from you (see last blog). They need comfort; they need you to see that they make it through the day. With your help, they will. Here are some of the things you can do for them. **Send a sympathy card or note to the parents, saying how […]

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How to Ask For More Help – or Less

Posted on November 18, 2009 - by Laurie Spector & Ruth Spector Webster

It can be difficult for anyone who is grieving to guage their need for support from others. Maybe you’ve begun to realize that you’d like more support. As one person told us, “After my loss, I got a lot of support and help from family and friends. But it’s been awhile now and I seem to be forgotten. I think they see me as ‘strong’ but I still need to know that they are there for me.” As you struggle with the many stresses that come with losing a loved one, you may feel vulnerable, lost, or “alone in the world.”  […]

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Grief and Loss During the Holidays

Posted on November 17, 2009 - by Art & Allison Daily

When I lost my brother it was early summer time. The flowers were out, the heat hadn’t magnetized and yet I could find beauty in nothing. I felt like I was never going to get over the pain from his death. In some ways I felt paralyzed, almost not feeling at all, from fear that if I did feel I would never come back. The pain ebbed and flowed but the pain was most intense during the holidays. I dreaded them the first year, knowing one chair was missing. His. I had a hard time eating or enjoying the taste […]

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