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Mom’s Greatest Hero Was Only Four When He Died

Posted on November 10, 2009 - by Alice Wisler

I suppose my high school English teacher would like to think he made the biggest impression in my life. He loved to quote Shakespeare, Bryon and Keats. He could whip up a gourmet French dinner in a few hours. He knew Latin and spoke Japanese. “Class, class, you’ll thank me one day,” he’d tell us as we’d groan about the lengthy books assigned for homework. But the truth is, two decades later, I have another hero. My hero was only four, could not read or write and yet he taught me through his short life lessons no adult could ever […]

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Poem: Hate

Posted on November 9, 2009 - by Deborah Tornillo

It tears my heart apart I hate being sad I hate every minute of it. Nothing stops the pain It is so unbearable I hate every moment of it. I hate feeling this way I just wished It would go away. I hate life right now I hate how I feel. Need to run away. Yes, run and hide To that other side If I just run and hide….. It will be okay.. Deborah Ann Tornillo Author, “36 Days Apart” http://www.deborahtornillo.com

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How to Support Families Grieving After Fort Hood Tragedy

Posted on November 9, 2009 - by Ami Neiberger-Miller

The horrific tragedy at Fort Hood has sent our nation into mourning, and many want to know how to express their condolences and support to the families left behind. Reaching out to express condolences is a natural and heartfelt reaction to tragedy.  TAPS, the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors, offers the following tips for those seeking to express sympathy and support to the families of those who died at Fort Hood. Be understanding. The surviving families are in tremendous shock in the immediate days and weeks following the death of their loved one. Understand that families may need to be […]

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Poem: Dreaming

Posted on November 8, 2009 - by Deborah Tornillo

When I would awaken From a dream so surreal Daddy use to say to me Dreams are not real. It’s just your imagination Running wild and free I’m right here beside you Holding you back to sleep. Daddy, I’m still dreaming And, I’m dreaming of you If dreams are not real Why are you still holding me? Deborah Ann Tornillo Author, “36 Days Apart” http://www.authorsden.com/dtornillo

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Poem: Get Over It

Posted on November 8, 2009 - by Deborah Tornillo

My question… How do you get over it? I’ve been recently told To get over it! Do you take a death And, just get over it? Or do you grieve that death And, then get over it? Am I blind at getting over it? Or, do I just get over it? I’ve been told, to just get over it. Okay, I’ll try my best to just get over it. Question…..Will I lose you If I don’t get over it? Then, I guess I will Because, you know what I’ll get over it…….. Deborah Ann Tornillo Author, “36 Days Apart” http://www.authorsden.com/dtornillo

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Saying Inappropriate Things to Bereaved Parents

Posted on November 8, 2009 - by Sandy Fox

When on your grief journey, you may hear people say things to you that are not appropriate at all. Perhaps that person was only trying to comfort you or has never lost a child and has no idea what you are feeling or going through. Certain phrases and sentences to others may seem like a way to show they care and are thinking about you, but all it really does is make you mad. Some of those phrases and my reactions (in italic type) to myself or others include: “Your child is in a better place.” No, she’s not. She […]

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Christmas ‘Gifts’ Never the Same After Sister’s Death

Posted on November 8, 2009 - by Beryl Kaminsky

Nothing that can be wrapped in a box could ever compare to the “gift” of my older sister, Dawn.  I still miss her keenly around the holidays, but I am thankful that she was a part of my childhood.  Today, as Christmas approaches, holiday memories poignantly remind me of how love, life and loss can redefine the true meaning of “Christmas gifts.” Christmas was always a formal affair in my home growing up. We took turns opening gifts one at a time—the excitement and curiosity excruciating for a child.  Still, my mother had a talent for making events quite special.  […]

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When Grieving an Abandonment

Posted on November 7, 2009 - by Marty Tousley

Question from a reader: I was informed that my mother died, and I am grieving.  My mother left me when I was a little girl.  It hurt.  I denied it for 40 years.  So far, I have attended two different bereavement groups.  Both are filled with people who are grieving a loved one.  I am not.  I do not have a string of memories of our times together to talk about how she taught me how to bake a pie, helped me plan my wedding, helped me through my divorce, paid for college, took care of my kids while I […]

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Grief + Fear = Holding On To Hope

Posted on November 5, 2009 - by Deborah Tornillo

My parents were diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in February, 2006 and as their sole caregiver for almost two years the physical and mental toll it placed on me at times was almost unbearable. I feel I was really just beginning to grieve the loss of my parents when my husband was diagnosed with Adenoid Cystic Carcinoma in March, 2009. Adenoid cystic carcinoma (ACC) is a rare cancer, typically originating in the head and neck region. This malignancy has a slow – and sometimes relentless – progression with a tendency to grow along nerves. Particularly high rates of recurrence and metastasis to […]

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The Daniel Journal

Posted on November 5, 2009 - by Alice Wisler

I embraced it; I loathed it. It was a cloth bound book with blue and red swirled flowers on the cover. Inside were the raw words from my heart and soul. Once it was filled with crisp, lined pages. That was the day it was gifted to me by my three-year-old son Daniel’s oncology nurse. That day it was just a pretty journal. Daniel smiled as I thanked this nurse for her thoughtful present. Months later, this object contained sentences no one wants to ever write. Never far from me, I lived for moments when I could take respite from […]

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