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Springtime…cleaning and remembering

Posted on March 28, 2009 - by Sandy Fox

by Sandy Fox Springtime. A time to clean house, clean the yard, and, as I do so, just another season to think about my daughter and how much I miss her. She has been gone now for 15 years. I clean the house, glancing at the boxes in my closet of what is left of her life. It is compacted into a small corner of the closet. There is not much. Some award, some writings, some childhood items, all the lovely notes and remembrances from others, and most of all, the photos. Photos that are worth a thousand words, a […]

Surviving the suicide of my child

Posted on March 28, 2009 - by admin

By Terrye Harris On December 13, 2004, my world shattered into a million pieces. After a 2 year long battle with schizophrenia, my youngest son, Jonathan took his own life at the age of 19. The day Jonathan died, I kept telling myself this is the worst day of my life. Little did I know through the haze of shock that surrounded me,that there would be many more worse days to follow. The first six months, it was all I could do to keep breathing. During this time I believe I could have actually laid down and willed myself to […]

Natasha Richardson’s Family Donates Her Organs, Honors Her Life

Posted on March 28, 2009 - by Reg Green

By Reg Green — Natasha Richardson’s heart-wrenching death from a skiing accident should explode at least one myth: that donating the organs of a loved one is in some way disrespectful. It’s clear that her family made their decision out of love and that, by helping others, her stature has been enhanced not diminished. And that is true of all those other decisions to donate made by anonymous families in lonely hospital rooms around the world. They allow the doctors to take the body parts of someone they love, not because they don’t care any more but because they feel […]

Young Widow Overcomes Her Death Wish

Posted on March 27, 2009 - by Michele Neff Hernandez

By Michele Neff Hernandez — It is an odd and frightening sensation to wish you were dead. After my husband died, I fervently wished I could die, too. The first time I read that grieving people sometimes fantasize about death, I was relieved. My entire life I had appreciated the gift of life; to suddenly and frequently wish it away was a disconcerting and lonely experience. When my husband, Phil, was hit by a car, the initial shock provided a buffer to the complicated emotions that would gather to haunt me in the days and months to come. As the […]

Deja Vu

Posted on March 26, 2009 - by Eric Tomei

Sometimes when you get that eerie feeling that something is just not right, they call it deja vu, which is French for “already seen.” It was New Year’s Day 2008 and my buddy called me at around 11:00 in the morning. Not necessarily unusual, but 11 in the morning on New Years Day triggered something in me that this wasn’t a Happy New Year 2008 call. I should tell those voices to shut up sometimes, because I was right. When I listened to the message a few hours after, the message was not only shocking but devastating. […]

Widow Feels Rage About ‘God’s Plan’

Posted on March 26, 2009 - by Gloria Lintermans

Question from Chris: I lost my husband, Fred, on 1/5/09 after 35 years and 35 days of marriage. I am still, almost 3 months later, so devastated. We have 3 sons and I have a job. So I can stay busy. But the nights and weekends are hell. I take care of my 80-year-old father who is on dialysis (my husband and I did this together for the past 8 years). I would tell my husband we will have time together after my father goes. Now I will be left alone with no one to comfort and console me. I […]

Wristbands Educate Public About Causes of Suicide

Posted on March 26, 2009 - by Carol Loehr

By Carol Loehr — My son, Keith, was 29 years old when he died by suicide. Suicide is a frightening word and it is not only ignorance but also fear and stigma that keep people from understanding why someone would take their life. In a survey by the USA’s National Institute of Mental Health, it was discovered that 90 percent of Americans who died by suicide suffered from severe depression. Only about half received any treatment, and only half of those who did, received the right treatment. Studies indicate that the most promising way to prevent suicide and suicidal behavior […]

How Can We Help Grieving Children?

Posted on March 26, 2009 - by Joy Johnson Brown

By Joy Johnson — It breaks our hearts, it troubles our minds, it rattles our souls; seeing children we love devastated, weeping, sorrow-filled. We want to fix it and we can’t. I can’t just go out and buy a new daddy. I could always do that with broken Barbies. I can’t put a BAND-AID on it. I can’t kiss it and make it stop hurting. I can’t even tell her it will be all right. All I can do is hold her and help her cry. (Mom in Seattle) Grieving children usually face at least four tasks. In a way, […]

Handling Money When You’ve Lost a Spouse

Posted on March 24, 2009 - by Sandra Pesmen

By Sandra Pesmen — We recently attended several financial seminars given by different money management firms to gather information about handling money when you’re grieving. Our goal is to help people during a time when it’s difficult to make wise decisions about anything, including money. One of the most important things I learned is that people who depend on fixed incomes, which includes many widows and widowers, are definitely in FEAR mode right now as we watch the Dow bob up and down on CNN. You’re forgiven if you want to rush to your broker, sell everything, and bury the […]

Should Mother Give Deceased Daughter’s Clothes to Someone Else?

Posted on March 23, 2009 - by admin

Question from Mary: I have a friend who lost her daughter at age 10. She now has a step-daughter that age, and my friend is giving her step-daughter her deceased daughter’s toys and other belongings. Is this normal? David Hurley, a contributing writer for Open to Hope, responds: It seems to me that giving her stepdaughter belongings from her deceased daughter is a sign of acceptance for the stepdaughter. Perhaps this mother, like me, has decided that there are no “steps” in her heart. I don’t think there is a “normal” when it comes to activities following the death of […]