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What is Shock? What to Expect That First Month After a Loved One Dies

Posted on October 3, 2008 - by Carol O'Dell

Losing a spouse, a parent, a child is devastating. But somehow, you will get through. As crazy, lost, alone, scattered, numb, and frantic as you feel in those first months, know that as hard as it is to believe, it won’t last forever. I know you don’t think you will ever get through this. But there’s this little thing called breathing. Your body does it whether you want it to or not. Your heart can be breaking, your gut wrenched, and you can feel as if you will truly lose your mind–and your body will continue to take its next […]

How Families Survive Trauma and Loss

Posted on October 3, 2008 - by Norman Fried

By Norman Fried — What are the lessons that trauma, loss and recovery can teach us about family relationships? And what are the changes that occur in families that have to endure tragedy and loss? We know that trauma and loss bring about changes not just in each individual family member but in the family system as a whole. In children, for example, we learn that the clinical after effects of trauma involve a sense of disconnection from others and a feeling of “loss of power.” Recovery, therefore, is based upon the establishment of new and “safe” connections for these […]

Messages From Children Who Have Died

Posted on October 3, 2008 - by Rosemary Smith

By Rosemary Smith — September 3, 2008 I woke up this morning and rolled over to look at the clock…it was 7:23. How many times in the past sixteen years had I jolted awake at exactly 7:23? Those three numbers used to take my breath away, but as the years passed, they came to be a sign from Drew and Jeremiah that they were near. What was their message this morning? Most of my Labor Day was a labor of love as I worked on bereavement packets for my Fellow Travelers. This morning, I realized that I had thirty-three packets […]

(Not So) Happy Birthday! Dealing with Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Traumatic Dates

Posted on October 2, 2008 - by Beverly Chantalle McManus

Whether it is the birthday of your spouse who has died, your wedding anniversary, or even the anniversary of the death, traumatic dates bring back so many memories, and also bring up so many feelings of loss and sadness. But, they can also give us a chance to mark our progress of healing. These events mark not just another date on the calendar but they are significant milestones within our personal healing journey. Our lives are put on pause, at any stage of our grief journey; in order to honor our lost loved ones. Birthdays, anniversaries and those other […]

Caregiver, Are You Too Hard on Yourself?

Posted on September 30, 2008 - by Carol O'Dell

If there’s one thing we could all use a little more of, it’s mercy. Caregivers are notoriously hard on themselves. I know, I was my own worst judge. Caregiving isn’t easy. It’s relentless, and you can’t get it all “right.” You can’t go on three hours sleep, physically lift another human being from the bed to a potty chair, dress them, feed them, give them their morning meds, load them in a car, drive them to the doctors, fight with the doctors, beg for proper treatment and medicine, head to the pharmacy (for them not to have what you need), […]

Grief in the New Millennium

Posted on September 30, 2008 - by Mitch Carmody

By Mitch Carmody – We are now closing in on the end of the first decade of the new millennium. Growing up, most of us baby boomers remember reading about Haley’s Comet, and we hoped to see it zoom across the night sky as an adult. When we were kids, we hadn’t seen a man land on the moon; we had only a couple of stations on our black-and-white televisions; we had telephones with party lines that you shared with neighbors; one computer filled an enormous room, and water was not sold in bottles. Boy, has the world changed. But […]

Managing the Holidays: Tips For the Bereaved

Posted on September 29, 2008 - by Gloria Lintermans

By Gloria Lintermans & Marilyn Stolzman, Ph.D., L.M.F.T. — The holidays can be a particularly difficult time for those of us who have lost a loved one. We are used to being with our family members during this time, and now an important person is missing. The following are suggestions for managing the holidays. 1. MAKE PLANS – There may be an inclination to isolate during the holidays. But making plans for the holidays helps us cope with change and gives us some much-needed structure. Too much free time can stimulate loneliness and despair. When we make plans, we often […]

Transplant Waiting List Nears 100,000

Posted on September 28, 2008 - by Abel Keogh

Reg Green and his family made headlines worldwide in 1994 by donating their 7-year-old son’s organs after the boy was shot in a botched robbery. Now, Reg reports, the number of Americans waiting for organs is nearing 100,000. What can you do to help?

A Tribute To Ellie

Posted on September 26, 2008 - by John Pete

Ellie Valdez Honeyman has touched and inspired very many lives. She was one of those rare souls whom others are always happy to encounter, even if just in passing and to share a quick hello. She had a natural way of always leaving other feeling uplifted, and I know those who had the privilege of knowing her will always remember that. Ellie died earlier this week after a very courageous battle with cancer. And the tremendous number of lives she touched in her lifetime ranged from those who loved her dearly, to a large community of friends who were deeply touched reading about her brave and valiant battle with her terrible cancer which became yet another inspiring testament of just “who” she was. I met Ellie […]

A Caregiver’s Challenge: Loving the Unlovable

Posted on September 25, 2008 - by Carol O'Dell

Caregiver relationships are as complicated as everybody else’s. Caregiving isn’t always sweet and sentimental. What happens if you need to/are asked to care give someone who has hurt you deeply? I met a woman at a book club once and her face revealed her suffering. She shared that her husband had late stage Parkinson’s and she was basically housebound and caring for him 24/7. She looked beyond exhausted. She also shared that she probably should have left him years ago. Sometimes we stay–for the kids–for the security. Because we were too chicken to leave. Now it’s too late. We need […]