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What is the Recipe for Grief?

Posted on December 12, 2021 - by Judy Lipson

What is the recipe for grief? There is no recipe for grief. Years after the deaths of my sisters, my complicated grief program required that I incorporate self-compassion into my practice of forgiveness. I learned to repeat this thought: I did the best I could at the time. I am amazing now. These words were crucial. As a figure skater, I thought of this like learning a new element on the ice. I’d break down the element into segments, put the pieces back together, and practice the skill over and over hundreds of times until it was mastered. Thirty Years […]

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Andrew Garfield: ‘I Hope This Grief Stays With Me’

Posted on December 12, 2021 - by Becky Aud-Jennison

I Hope This Grief Stays With Me “I hope this grief stays with me.” These beautiful words of Andrew Garfield, speaking to Stephen Colbert (starting at 4:20), have gone viral this past month. It’s as if we are a society hungry for these intimate glimpses into another’s experience. In fact, I believe we are a society starving for permission to speak of our own great grieving. I describe my transformation after the deaths of my soul connect brother and mother as dismantling me and putting me back together differently. In this conversation, we bear witness to the birth of Andrew’s […]

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Widows Wonder: Where Was God When I Needed Him?

Posted on November 27, 2021 - by Kim Knight

My friend Margie asked me one day if I was angry with God over my husband Dale’s death. Sad? Yes. Angry? No. It made me think, though. I’ve talked to many people who are angry with God over many things—not just the loss of their spouse. Books have been written about it. Sermons have been delivered. Debates have raged. So, what if you are one of the angry people? How do you deal with this crushing loss without letting your anger destroy your faith? It’s totally okay to be angry with God. He can take it. Even Jesus displayed anger […]

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‘Perfect Widow’ Asks: Who Am I Now?

Posted on November 27, 2021 - by Kim Knight

Widow Asks: Who Am I Now? Who am I now? Who am I really? It’s a question nearly everyone grapples with at some point in life—when you retire, after you graduate, after a major success or failure, after the death of someone important to you. Nearly all of our lives, we are defined by our relationship to someone else—we are someone’s daughter, sister, wife, mom, widow. You probably have friends you describe that way—your minister’s wife, your friend’s daughter, your boss’ spouse. It’s a way of connecting the dots of your relationships. For years, many of my acquaintances knew me […]

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Surviving the Shock of Widowhood

Posted on November 27, 2021 - by Kim Knight

The Shock of Widowhood In the course of a day, my husband, Dale, stepdad to my two children, business partner, best friend, and—truly—the most interesting person I have ever known, died. That brought on the shock of widowhood. Have you lost your spouse, your parent, or a beloved friend? What is your story? Please know you’re not walking this road alone. But if you’re in the early stage, you may be pondering how life changed so quickly and how you might move forward from wherever you are. I totally hear you. The World Marched On Within a week of Dale’s […]

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Re-imagining the Advent Candles

Posted on November 27, 2021 - by Elizabeth Brady

Re-imagining the Advent Candles During the season of Advent 2003, I was eight months pregnant with our son Mack, who was born January 16, 2004. Our daughter, Izzy, had just turned six and was dressed as an angel. She had just participated in the Christmas Eve children’s pageant at our church. She leaned against me drawing on a Little Episcopalians notepad. Gold tinsel from her halo tickled my nose, and we smiled at each other when Mack moved inside me and she could feel him through my dress. “That is so weird, Mamma!” she giggled and my husband, Christian, smiled. […]

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The Day My Old Life Ended

Posted on November 27, 2021 - by Jenny Lisk

My Old Life Ended When you finally arrive home on a Friday evening — one kid in tow, the other successfully deposited with the Boy Scouts for the weekend — and your forty-something-year old husband has a funny look on his face, your first thought is unlikely to be: This time next year I’ll be a widow, raising two grieving kids alone. At least, that certainly was not my first thought on the day my old life ended. After fighting the cross-town traffic characteristic of Seattle’s suburbs, I got home one night to find Dennis sitting on the couch in our living […]

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Messages from My Deceased Son

Posted on November 17, 2021 - by Meryl Beck

Messages from My Deceased Son At the age of thirty-five, my son chose to end his life here on earth. Here was the first of my messages from my deceased son: “I, Jonathan Hershey Beck, decided the time has come for me to die. I am doing this because there is nothing left for me . . . I do not want a new job. I do not want to move to a new city. I do not want new friends. I am ready to move on beyond this human form to whatever exists after . . . I am […]

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Healing Hugs: Embracing Love and Survival

Posted on November 17, 2021 - by Meryl Beck

Healing Hugs Over the Fourth of July weekend in 1997, Tamara Gabriel was driving to a friend’s home with her nine-year-old daughter Janna. The car hydroplaned and collided with another car, killing Janna. Tamara became isolated in her grief and felt people had turned away from her. She responded by writing a poem about the importance of hugs: If You See Me If you see me, do not run . . . I know that talk is not much fun. I know your hearts are sure to tug, But all I need is just a hug. After her poem was […]

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Is All Grief the Same? Grieving to Scale

Posted on November 17, 2021 - by Becky Womack

Is all grief the same? Daily, I tend a one-eyed guinea pig.  She used to see her world just fine, but a recent scuffle with an older pig rendered her partially blind. This happened on my watch, which was somehow inadequate despite the fact that I have two fully functioning eyes. It is my daughter’s guinea pig.  A musician, my daughter has been traveling to music venues, multiple gigs in the month of August. She trusts me.  She knows me as one who faithfully waters a dandelion patch in case of guinea pig feasts and sleepovers.  As one who has […]

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