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Ten Ways To Keep Your Spouse’s Memory Alive

Posted on July 9, 2019 - by Peggy Bell

Becoming widowed is a gut-wrenching experience. It brings so much sadness and loneliness to our lives. It takes a huge adjustment to get through those days along the grief journey. We never get over the loss, but we can attempt to do things that make it more bearable for ourselves. One idea we may want to try is to keep their memory alive. Doing this allows you to hold onto a piece of them forever. Below are ten suggestions to consider if you want to do this. Display their collections – If your spouse had a hobby, you can frame […]

Widowers: Don’t Expect Others to Know What To Do

Posted on June 28, 2019 - by Herb Knoll

Following the passing of a wife or life-partner, it is the widower who needs support, not the deceased. So why is it that so many widowed men complain about their sense of abandonment by their families, friends, neighbors, and co-workers following their loss? Behaviors and interactions with those who you would hope would be of some level of support to the widowers, can instead become hurtful, insensitive, and at times, clumsy. Case in point, on the first morning, I was back at my bank job in San Antonio, and while seated at my desk, one of our human resource officers […]

Difficult Grief: Three Steps to Compassion for Yourself and Others

Posted on June 25, 2019 - by Nina Impala

Overall humans can be pretty hard on themselves. It seems like I am always telling my clients not be to be so hard on themselves. Watch the self-talk. Imagine yourself as child you love so dearly; would you talk to them that way if they were going through a difficult time? When I have compassion for others, it is because I can feel another’s anger, sadness and/or pain. I don’t take it on, but I can feel it. I hold that space with them and bring in an energy of loving kindness for the pain they are experiencing. Working in […]

Angels Walk Among Us

Posted on June 24, 2019 - by Herb Knoll

“Hi, my name is Richard.” Thus began my knowing a giant of a man named Richard Blount (62) as he sat down in the chair beside me. The occasion was my first meeting at GriefShare, a widely available program for those who have experienced a loss in their life. I was attending the program as part of the research I was conducting for my then soon-to-be-released book, The Widowers Journey. I would soon come to realize that Richard, a native of Tampa, Florida, was no ordinary man. Built like a linebacker from your favorite football team, Richard is also a […]

Gratitude and Grief – Is it Possible?

Posted on June 23, 2019 - by Lisa Boehm

My experience with gratitude began about five minutes after the police and coroner visited our home the night my daughter Katie died. I remember being thankful that she died instantly. I remember being thankful that she didn’t have any passengers. I remember wanting to thank the entire emergency crew that was at the scene. What? Who is grateful within minutes of learning that their child has died? I guess that would be me and I really can’t tell you why. But it’s the truth. I remember being in the thick of early grief and dealing with other family issues and […]

The Gift Of Tears and Forgiveness

Posted on June 23, 2019 - by Jill Smoot

Recently, I was watching a television interview with a woman who began to apologize to the reporter for “almost crying.” I understood that. Don’t let people see your hurt, don’t be a cry-baby. That was me, seven years before the death of our oldest child. That’s hen everything inside of me underwent radical changes, and these have all been for good in my life. It has been like having my senses heightened to what I have, not what I’ve lost. I found that I could be vulnerable. Like the shedding of tears. Crying for me was a private affair, something I could […]

Fly On

Posted on June 22, 2019 - by Rosemary James

“You found your wings, then you flew away from me,” resonates off the newly painted, lantern-gold bedroom walls. A brighter color to enliven my spirits. We had decided to paint a couple years ago, but didn’t get around to it. The country red was too somber. Lost to the music, I cradle the black, rectangle box that encases you, tighter with each word, swaying to the rhythm of our song. The haunting violin riff intensifies the anguish in my heart, the wrenching and hollowness few understand. Suffocating with each breath, I allow the pain to trickle slowly from my eyes. […]

When a Spouse Didn’t Get To Say Goodbye

Posted on June 22, 2019 - by Peggy Bell

Depending on the circumstances behind your husband’s death, one of the regrets you may have is the fact that you did not get to say goodbye. Everything ended abruptly and without warning. You may be saying things such as, “I didn’t get to tell him I loved him. I didn’t have one more chance to hug and kiss him. I do not know how he wants me to go on. ” This type of regret is a common emotion. When the death is due to a tragic and unexpected circumstance, the emotional and physical pain may be even more intense. […]

A Funeral, a Wedding, Graduations and One Unwanted Guest

Posted on June 22, 2019 - by Elizabeth Brady

It has been six and a half years since our son, Mack, died suddenly on New Year’s Eve 2012, just shy of his ninth birthday. As the many of us who learn to live newly after loss, we take it on as a part of our lives and learn to carry Mack with us through life. So, as we entered this spring season of passages including a funeral, a wedding, and a handful of graduations, I was surprised by my fatigue. I have learned enough over the years to recognize when something is calling for my attention. In some ways […]

The Loss of My Fur Family

Posted on June 6, 2019 - by Ann Schiebert

Lately, I have had many patients come to see me to get grief counseling over the loss of a beloved pet. Their grief aroused my grief over my past losses. The thought came to me that we have a lot of attention focused on loss of a parent, loss of a child, loss of a spouse, or the loss of a friend, but it seems that there is little support for those who have lost a member of their fur family. For me, I have lost both an adult child and pets. I love my pets as much as I […]