Judy Lipson

Judy Lipson is the author of Celebration of Sisters: It Is Never Too Late To Grieve, winner of the Literary Titan’s 2021 Silver Award, and a contributor to The Loss of a Lifetime: Grieving Siblings Share Stories of Love, Loss, and Hope, Edited by Lynn L. Shattuck and Alyson Shelton. Founder Celebration of Sisters, an annual ice-skating fundraiser to commemorate the lives and memories of her beloved sisters Margie and Jane to benefit Massachusetts General Hospital’s Eating Disorders Clinical and Research Program. For a decade, a contributor to Open to Hope, serves on the board of the COPE Foundation, and shares her story as the keynote speaker for The Bereaved Parents National USA 2023 Conference, The Compassionate Friends National Conference, and The Open to Hope Cable television. Judy’s passion for figure skating was rewarded by being the recipient of the 2020 Get Up Award by U.S. Figure Skating Association for her resilience on and off the ice. www.judylipson.org and judylipson.substack.com

Articles:

Skating for My Beloved Sisters

Skating is a sport I shared with my beloved sisters. When we were young girls, we proudly carried our skates in plaid bags and raced to be the first ones on the ice. Margie, my older sister, the most talented, Jane, the youngest, was athletic, and I, the middle sister, a bit of a klutz. Little did I know that skating would become the chord that would bind me, honor, and remember, and forever find peace and joy with my sisters. Throughout my life, somehow the ice called me, a pull I never quite understood, my happy place, where […]

Echoes of Earlier Losses

Echoes of Earlier Losses Unfortunately, many of us have experienced compound grief from multiple losses – either more than one sibling, a child/sibling, sibling/parent, sibling/grandchild, or partner/child. The death of my father three decades after losing my beloved sisters Margie and Jane, triggered feelings I kept dormant. When Margie and Jane died, I didn’t know what grief was. Siblings are the forgotten mourners and take on the role of caretakers. I fast tracked life, ignoring my own grief. I don’t recall Margie and Jane’s funerals. With my father, the experience was totally different. I was present for his last breath, […]

Caring for Surviving Siblings

Caring for Surviving Siblings A decade ago, I was fortunate to meet Heidi Horsley, a fellow surviving sibling and philanthropist. We bonded immediately. After years of being alone in my grief, I was grateful to connect with individuals who understand, are compassionate, speak the same language, and are members of the same club. Thanks to Heidi, who is executive director of Open to Hope, this year marks a decade of me contributing articles for this website. Writing became a vital tool in my grief journey. The process began with journaling, progressed to articles, and ultimately a memoir. I never dreamed […]

How Many Siblings Do You Have?

How Many Siblings Do You Have? “How many siblings do you have?” It is a dreaded question asked of many a surviving sibling. When I’m asked, my heart thumps out of my chest. I sense the heat rising on my face and struggle to breathe. How do I answer? For me, the answer has changed over time. When asked, decades after I lost my sisters, I still experience the tremor in my body. Regardless of how ready I believe myself to be, the experience leaves me reeling when asked. After my younger sister Jane died in 1981, was I now […]

Where Am I in my Grief Journey?

Where am I in my Grief Journey It’s hard to believe my sister Jane is gone 43 years, and in August, my sister Margie will have been gone for 34 years. In November, Jane would be sixty-five and Margie seventy. I am about to enter my challenging months, although some years harder than others, no rhyme or reason. After thirty years of suppressing my grief, I dug deep and went into heavy therapy, and honored Margie and Jane with Celebration of Sisters, an annual ice-skating fundraiser in a sport we all shared. The fundraiser is on pause, and I may […]

The Gift of Becoming a Grandmother

The Gift of Becoming a Grandmother In June, my youngest grandchild, Madelyn, named for my beloved sister Margie, turned one. Our family gathered to celebrated Madelyn’s first birthday. I am grateful to be “Nini” to three grandchildren–Benji, named for my father will be five in July, and Jake is eighteen months, and Madelyn, one. As I sat in the enclosed playpen area with Madelyn, Benji and Jake beaming watching the new innocent lives, broad smiles, the unconditional love. The seesaw of emotions from the devastating heartbreak of losing two sisters, my anchors, my foundation, the darkness, and now the lightness, […]

Poem Eases Sister’s Pain

After our sister Jane’s death, Margie and I, working long retail hours, did not communicate very often. Although we did not speak about our loss, Margie sent me a poem she’d written. She eloquently expressed her feelings in it. Who has broken into our lives? Who has spoken to our brokenness? Who keeps breaking into our presence? We don’t have all the answers. We do have a lot of questions. We search in a world of bereft. Descent upon our hearts, for we need renewing away. We await your love and power to heal and bless. Refresh us now. Enlighten us […]

Grief and Joy Merge in Love

Grief is Love, Joy is Love What words come to mind when we think of love? I think of emotion, devotion, adoration, and respect. Each person may have their own unique definition of love. I want to speak about love in grief and love in joy, two powerful feelings, and how I came to realize love is the connection to both. For years, the dichotomy in my brain never allowed me to witness the symmetry of grief and joy, and find a place in my heart for both. Grief is Deep Losing my cherished sisters Margie and Jane forever changed […]

Am I a Sibling if my Siblings Have Died?

Am I a Sibling if my Siblings Have Died? “I am the middle of three, and sadly, I lost both my sisters.” This is who I am. As a bereaved sibling, when asked the challenging question, “how many siblings do you have?”, I sometimes hold my breath. I struggle how to answer the question, and often reply, “it’s just me.” Now, after decades of not revealing the truth, I understand that I am forever Judy, the middle sister. This is my identity, past, present, and future. The Siblings The black-and-white photograph of the three Lipson sisters squished together on the […]

Father’s Death Triggers Grief of Sibling-Loss

Father’s Death Triggers Grief My beloved father Benjamin Lipson passed away in 2011, one week before the premiere of Celebration of Sisters, an annual fundraiser to honor my beloved sisters Margie and Jane. Conflicting emotions, breaking heart — and what do I do about the event? Deep down I knew the answer. The event must go on. Thankfully, the first Celebration was not a skating event, so I did not have to perform on the ice. However, I needed to speak. Somehow, I mustered up the courage to honor Margie and Jane. Raw from the loss and touched by the […]

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