My beautiful daughter Sara passed away almost 8 years ago. She was diagnosed with Acute Myelogenous Leukemia (AML). She was just 19 and turned 20 years old in the hospital. I spent every day and night with her there, only to be relieved when my son or husband would come to visit.
This went on for over five months. She had extensive chemotherapy. Sara went into remission. We were so happy that day. It was Valentine’s Day. It was a special day for the rest of our lives.
After Sara gained some strength, she forced herself to go back to college and was able to get a quarter in. I drove her every day, as she could barely walk, but she did it. If only it would have lasted. After a few short months, Sara relapsed.
The doctor said she needed a bone-marrow transplant. So back into the hospital she went for more chemotherapy to get her ready for the transplant. Back to the hospital for me and my family to help take care of her.
This was a nightmare, waiting to find the donor. We finally did, and she had the transplant.
But everything that could go wrong did.
Sara was so strong through out her illness. She endured more pain that I could ever imagine. This awful disease took her life at the age of 21.
Since she passed, our family has had numerous dreams with her. Many seemed like “after-death communications.” We have been blessed by these signs. Sara is with us. She is stronger than ever now, and helps us in our grief by letting us know she is there.
Tags: grief, hope, signs and connections
Dear Sue
Thank you for sharing your beautiful daughter Sara with us all.
I am so sorry for your loss and we are so connected through our daughters.
Sara was/is a strong beautiful young woman
and you are right our children are still with us only a whisper away and we will all be reunited again with our beautiful children
Sending much love to you.
Love your friend
Louise
Hello Sue,
I feel like I am living your story only years later. I lost my son at age twenty-six to chronic myelogenous leukemia. Nickolas was in what is called blast crisis, so he had one short admission to get his white count down. He spent the summer getting chemo into his spine and then he went straight to a bone marrow transplant. My son turned twenty-six in the hospital during that admission. It was a hopeful time and we prayed that my son would be cured. Nick would not live to see his 27th birthday. Nick also seemed to have everything go wrong. He suffered from severe lung damage that no on diagnosed until it was too late. Nick passed away in the hospital on a ventilator on August 13th, 2009. It has only been eight months since Nick left us and my heart is shattered into a million pieces. I have yet to see the signs that everyone speaks of and I have yet to find any sense of peace in this loss. I loved my boy so much. He was my oldest and my only son. I have a daughter named Sara! She is hurting too. We all are. I miss my son so much. It hurts every day. I cry every day. I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing the story of your beautiful daughter.
sincerely, Diane
Hi BigD,
So sorry to hear of your loss and worst of all, that your story is similar to mine. I can’t express enough that I completely understand your pain. Your pain however is very raw right now, and I would think that you are still in ‘shock’ mode.
You will see the signs that Nickolas sends you…. but it’s very hard when your are in so much pain. The fact that you have a daughter named Sara… well.. that’s a sign for me, and I thank you for that.
Just keep your mind open.. look around!
Sue
Dear Sue:
Please accept my condolences on your loss. We, too, lost our 22 year old son to leukemia. He fought courageously but to no avail, He never got fully into remission so he was not a candidate for a stem cell transplant. It’s been 6 years but we still walk by his photo and our heart sinks. We, too, have had episodes where it seemed like Wes was still “messing” with us. Just those things that Wes, in his inimitable style, would find funny. I’m convinced he’s looking down and interacting every once in a while just to remind us of him. I hope you find some comfort in knowing that we established a foundation for leukemia research named When Everyone Survives. In just four funding cycles we’ve donated $500,000 to leukemia research worldwide and will donate another $150,000 on July 1. It is our prayer that our efforts might help find a cure and the day when everyone survives so that other parents need not go through the headache we’ve shared. God bless.