Grief can throw a spanner in the works, but it can also bring acceptance and closure positively, so long as we’re honest with ourselves. Our experiences can distort our perception of the past. It can feel like our memories are no longer reliable, as grief colours everything with its darkness.


A spanner may throw our past into the works because the past isn’t always kind, so we alter how we perceive it. Loss can stop us in our tracks, and it can make us question the value and meaning of our experiences. Grief can make us feel disoriented, lost and unsure of who we are, but it can also make us hide and try to bury our past. We may also find that we have to revisit old experiences and tackle those head on. The door to the past may never close.


But like grief can disrupt the past, grief has the power to transform our future also. It can push us to re-evaluate our priorities, our goals and our relationships, leading to self-discovery and personal growth. It can also inspire us to cherish the moments we have, and to find meaning that’s more purposeful and to live our lives more authentically.


Grief is a powerful force that can shake our core beliefs and challenge us to navigate the darkness. In facing our grief, we can find moments of clarity, healing and new connections, moving forward. The process of grieving is a complex and personal journey, but with time and support, we can emerge from it stronger and more resilient.

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Ilana Estelle

Ilana was born with a disability she didn’t know she had until the age of 46, when something her mum said caused her to look further into her disability and sight of her medical notes revealed that she had been diagnosed with cerebral palsy at the age of 2. That discovery turned out to be a unique and life-changing experience that has forced Ilana to stand back and look at her life’s experiences differently. On receipt of her diagnosis, Ilana set up her website, The CP Diary and uses her experiences to explore her emotional and physical health, with an inspiring message advocating positivity, resilience and change. Ilana likes to spend her days writing and blogging about anything that contributes to her health and wellbeing. She is an animal advocate and is passionate about environmental issues. When she is not writing or tending to her blog, Ilana enjoys days out exploring the Yorkshire countryside. Ilana lives with her husband in Yorkshire. Her grown up son and daughter both live in London.

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