How do we live like this?

Looking for graghics for my son?s site I came across this one?Life is hell..birthday and death anniversary coming 8yr. old granddaughter really does need me..or I wouldn?t be here..there are no words to describe this..I can?t imagine going thru life feeling this way been 2 yrs. pain is still there just as much today..if not son and only child is not coming home?ever..pray for me too please..there is no joy in anything anymore..I will pray for you all too..even if my faith is on shaky ground..I equate this with ?the walking dead? How do we live like this?


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  • Lana Golembeski says:

    Linda, I am so sorry for your loss. A year ago, I lost my only child too. The heartache is beyond words! But we are needed here…for some reason. I have been finding that giving to other grieving parents has helped me immensely. From that experience, I want to put together a book on losing a child…and the conversations that happen because of that loss. I want that to be a gift to other grieving parents in memory of all of our loved ones. Maybe through our grief, we can help someone else. I will pray for you that you find peace and healing in the days ahead. You will be in my thoughts, prayers, and my heart. A big hug for you! Love, lana

  • jacksmom says:

    I know how hard it is to live each day, but you have to move forward. If your grandchild is your motivation, then I am glad that you have a form. I don’t know how it feels 2 years later, but I did just return from the OK conference of Compassionate Friends and it is normal to have a hard 2nd year. Do you have a chapter near you? You can link to their site and look. You will find a group of people that you can talk to and find comfort in knowing that they have been there too.

  • Debra Reagan says:

    I am so sorry for the loss of your precious son. My heart aches for you. Very soon it will be two years for us also. For me there are good days and bad days. Some of those bad days feel so much like those early days that it can be very discouraging after I think I have done so much grief work. Grief seems to require so much stamina when we have so little to give.

    Sometimes I wonder if I will ever have a true inner joy again. But I try to hang onto the words of others further down the road. Sometimes when I don’t seem to have any strength of my own, I try to remind myself that I am not alone in this because sadly there are so many others that have suffered this deep loss also.

    You mentioned having a site for your son, if you wouldn’t mind sharing that site with us I would like to get to know more about your wonderful son.

    Thank you for your prayers for fellow grievers. I believe it is the prayers and love of others that allows me to enjoy the sunshine on the good days.

    Gentle Hugs,
    Debra Reagan

  • Debra Reagan says:

    Good luck on the book. It sounds like a great idea. Make sure you put lots of pictures of Alicia in the book. I want a copy as soon as it is ready. 🙂

  • Linda Hammond says:

    Danny died September 10, 2005..his birthday is August7th(1967) words cannot express the hurt..People just think everything should be okay now..thank you for your replies..Dan’s site is:

  • Thank you all..I do try to count my many blessings…but my biggest blessing is gone and I’m trying to live..I also realize that so many people are in this world feeling the same’s just that I can’t let go..I want my child!!! No one or anything can take his place..or fill his space..I ache for him…NO dreams..Other family and friends have had dreams of him..Hell..torture and pain for the rest of my life??? I’ll probably live to a 100! I just can’t stand this..HE IS NEVER COMING HOME!!!!

  • Linda, I understand how you feel. I am sure I will be the last one to go too. I want my daughter back too. Sometimes that feeling gets so frustrating because we all know they are not coming back in this earthly form. But you mention that others have dreams of him. That is good! He is trying to communicate with you. I get messages from others about alicia. I was fortunate to have one important dream of her shortly after her death. She came to me and told me that she was concerned about my sadness and then she showed me her joy. And better than that she let me feel her joy! It is beyond our comprehension! I know we miss our children but they are safe and happy. All I can do is put my faith in God and pray that He will give me comfort and peace…and He does. May I recommend a couple books that might help you? The first one actually tells you what signs of your loved one to look for and how to become open to them. It is Patrick Matheews “Never Say Goodbye”. The other one I have only started but it looks interesting. It is Louis LaGrand “Love Lives On”. Please visit my daughter’s website: I have also found wonderful support at It is a wonderful caring and supportive community.I will keep you in my prayers that you find some peace taking just one day at a time; one step at a time especially as we approach his birthday. My daughter’s birthday is August 1. She would have been 28 this year but she will forever be 26. Hugs! Lana

  • Debra Reagan says:

    Thank you for sharing Danny’s website. It was a beautiful site! He was loved by so many people. Danny and I almost share a birth date. My birthday is August 6th. Birthdays and anniversaries can be so hard.

    I know what you mean about wanting them to be here with us. There have been many days I have wished I could turn back time. I don’t think I will ever “let go” of Clint. I will always try to find ways to make him a part of my life. Although, nothing will ever be the same as having him here with us. I will try to keep Clint’s memory alive in whatever way I can.

    You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

    Debra Reagan

  • Linda says:

    Dear Linda,

    I understand your pain and the feeling that you can not survive if you have to feel like this everyday for the rest of your life. I want you to know you will survive…you will live again.I lost my son Matthew age 14 on 11/8/1996…today 8/11 is his 25th birthday…it has not been a good day…but I will make it. When I first lost Matt I fell into a deep dark cold pit…I never knew I could hurt so bad and survive. I have never felt so cold and alone…no one could help me….I felt like my life was over. I didn’t think I would ever get out of that pit….Matt got me out…I knew Matt would not want me to roll over and die…he was too full of life. You never “get over it” you find a way to get THROUGH it….just keep putting one foot in front of the other…one day you will not cry all day… day you will even laugh again. Birthdays and anniversaries will always be tough, but you will make it through them. I wrote a journal for the first three years…everything I felt went in there then I burned them so no one would read them and get their feelings hurt. I’m telling you these things to let you know (from a person that has been on this journey for almost 11 yrs) you will survive…you will find your way. Lean on God..he will get you through. I pray nothing I have said has upset you…..I hope hearing from someone that is this far into the journey will help.

    In loving memory of our sons,
    Linda F.

  • Linda H says:

    Thank you…I am so sorry for your loss too…11yrs..God Bless you…I cannot stand this..I have no words…BD just went by..anniversary coming up..HELL on earth…Thank you again for your encouragement and care