That first Valentine’s Day after Rhod died was very difficult for me. This had been our special day and now he was gone. He died on Feb 6, 1999, and eight days later it was Valentine’s Day! I was angry! I was sad. I was lonely.

In our 30 years together, Rhod always showered me with gifts and little surprises. On one occasion, he gave me a toy shaped like a heart with diamond earrings attached to it. Every year, he gave me a gigantic card with beautiful words along with a beautiful bouquet of flowers for Valentine’s day.

After he died, I was so glad that I had kept his cards over the years. For the first three years after his death, on Valentine’s Day, I bought myself a dozen cream roses. It reminded me of Rhod and this gave me comfort. The flowers were from him.

That first Valentine’s Day after his death, I brought out all of my cards and read them and then displayed them on the dining room table. These cards brought me comfort too. I cried but I also laughed that day.

In the following years on Valentine’s Day, I reflected and remembered and talked about the good memories. I was thankful and felt blessed that we were able to celebrate 30 Valentine’s Days together.

If Valentine’s Day was not an important occasion for you, that is okay too. Each of us is different. We grieve and mourn in our own way and timeline. Reach out for what gives you comfort.

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Audrey Stringer

Audrey Stringer has an active palliative support and grief counseling practice called A String of Hope Inc., www.astringofhope.com. She is also past chair and educator facilitator for the Sarnia Lambton Palliative Care Association. Audrey Stringer understands the feelings of overwhelming hurt that the loss of a loved one can inflict. She has experienced direct personal loss in three generations of her own family, and has helped countless others in her professional practice as a bereavement counselor. She knows it is possible to overcome the pain. She knows that you really can Get Over It!, and is author of a children’s book by that name. Audrey appeared on the radio show “Healing the Grieving Heart” with Dr. Gloria & Dr. Heidi Horsley to discuss “Change and Transition After Loss.” To hear Audrey being interviewed on this show, go to the following link: https://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/31956/change-and-transition-after-loss

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