Love is Stronger than Death

I was a member of the church choir for 20 years. A line from one of the songs we sang keeps rattling around in my mind: “Love is stronger than death.” Though I sang the line fervently at the time, I doubted its truth. Years later, I lived this line and found it was true.

In 2007, four family members died in a row: my daughter (mother of my fraternal twin grandkids), father-in-law, brother, and the twins’ father. My daughter and father-in-law died the same weekend. I didn’t want to look at their photos on the obit page of the newspaper but couldn’t stop myself from looking.

Is Love Stronger Than Death?

A week later, I sat down at the computer and poured out my soul in words. Is love stronger than death? The answer is a resounding “yes.”

To cope with grief, I created Action Memorials© for my loved ones. In memory of my daughter (a true comedian), I dedicated belly laughs to her. In memory of my father-in-law, I vowed to emphasize ethics. And in memory of my brother, I volunteered at the public library bookstore. n memory of the twins’ father, I observed nature more closely.

Years passed and life was going smoothly. Then, in 2020, my husband John died after a long illness. I was his caregiver and watching John’s health fail was gut-wrenching. John and were married for 63 years. To be loved for who I was—and who I wasn’t—was a source of strength.

Loving Someone Gives You Strength

As the ancient Chinese philosopher, Lao Tzu, explained, “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”

Just as I had done in 2009, I turned to writing and wrote Winning: A Story of Grief and Renewal. Part memoir and part self-help, it’s a deeply honest book and packed with practical ideas. And I wrote two more grief books, Grief Doodling: Bringing Back Your Smiles and Grief in Your Words: How Writing Helps You Heal—eleven in all.

What else could I do? One of the most drastic things I did was turn John’s bedroom (really a hospital room) into my art studio. Today, every wall of my studio is covered with framed Doodle Art. Sometimes I feel John is there with me, almost looking over my shoulder. He was always my biggest fan and I still think of him that way.

Art and Love

John and I believed in volunteerism, and I acted on this belief. I chair the Arts and Decorating Committee for my retirement community. I give free Doodle Art workshops, writing workshops, and talks about grief healing. And I donate to the organizations we supported in the past, and new organizations too.

Every day, I think of my departed loved ones and the love we shared.

In his book, To Bless the Space Between Us, John O’Donohue includes a poem titled “To Come Home to Yourself.” (Page 97). Multiple losses, especially the death of my beloved John, helped me realize the power of love. Love has made me a better person, more self-aware, and more aware in general.

I’ve come home to my new self. The best thing I can do to honor my loved ones is to enjoy the miracle of life. Each moment is a blessing.

Learn more about that and her other books at www.harriethodgson.net.

Read more by Harriet Hodgson on Open to Hope: https://www.opentohope.com/get-a-grief-buddy/

Harriet Hodgson

Harriet Hodgson has been a freelancer for 43 years, is the author of thousands of articles, and 42 books, including 10 grief resources. She is Assistant Editor of the Open to Hope website, a member of the Association of Health Care Journalists, Alliance of Independent Authors, Minnesota Coalition for Grief Education and Support, and Grief Coalition of Southeastern Minnesota. She is well acquainted with grief. In 2007 four family members died—her daughter (mother of her twin grandchildren), father-in-law, brother (and only sibling) and the twins’ father. Multiple losses shifted the focus of Hodgson’s work from general health to grief resolution and healing. She has appeared on more than 185 radio talk shows, including CBS Radio, and dozens of television stations, including CNN. In addition to writing for Open to Hope, Hodgson is a contributing writer for The Grief Toolbox website and The Caregiver Space website. A popular speaker, she has given presentations at The Compassionate Friends national conference, Bereaved Parents of the USA national conference, and Zoom grief conferences. Her work is cited in Who’s Who of American Women, World Who’s Who of Women, Contemporary Authors, and other directories. For more information about this busy grandmother, great grandmother, author, and speaker please visit www.harriethodgson.com.